I used to make up stories in my head about this guy who had the best and worst luck around. I decided last night that it could be a funny game to play.

Basically I'll start the story, then the next person adds something eg.

Me: A man was driving in his car when he saw a cow on the road, he went to stop but unfortunately...
next person: his breaks had been cut after his wife found he was cheating on her with another man!
person after that: Fortunately the how acted as a perfect buffer and he wasn't hurt too much. Unfortunately..

ETC.

I'll start:

Mr. Richards was walking down the footpath when he encountered a lemon aid stand, and being a generous and slightly thirsty man he decided to purchase a glass. Unfortunately...

Edit: sorry for some reason i wrote class and not glass

unfortunately, the class got out of hand, and the children started to revolt against Mr. Richards, smoking bowls and stabbing him in the face with their newly sharpened pencils.

After the children had realized what they'd done, they offered Mr. Richards a few huffs from the bowls to prevent him from informing the administrators.

up until now, Mr Richards was a straight edge, no jokes man. a pure stiff. Mr Richards had never puffed on the devils herb, and this was some dank ass shit. Mr. Richards craved food, but all that was in the room were children.. eyes dried out, he could barely see, as he ate a childs face off

At first, he began having illusions of grandeur and was in a state of pure happiness, and began to hug his students for this dope shit

The child's face, of course, coated in kush, was so potent in dankness that his head began to spin.

Mr. Richards is extremely high, confused, covered in blood and surrounded by children, one of which is missing their face.

suddenly, his cell phone is ringing. it says who is calling him, but he is far too fucked up to make sense of the letters on his screen. since he can't read in his current state, he simply answers his phone to discover who is trying to contact him.

unfortunately, because of mr. richard's state of mind, he did not notice that the phone had stopped ringing by the time he had answered it

He's so fucked up that he here's a voice anyways.

Hello, Richards. Do you know who this is?

Morpheus?

Yes...I've been looking for you, Richards. I don't know if you're ready to see what I want to show you, but unfortunately you and I have run out of time. They're coming for you, Richards, and I don't know what they're going to do.

Unable to deal with this new found revelation, Mr Richards pulls out his fully loaded glock, slams it to his temple, and pulls the trigger..

Mr Richards awoke on a hospital bed, unable to move, and unable to speak. His attempt at suicide had failed, as the bullet failed to destroy the vital areas of his brain. Devoid of all of life's satisfaction he then again attempts to kill himself through holding his breath.

whether fortunate or unfortunate for Mr. Richards, it is impossible to kill ones self by holding his or her breath. And so after feeling very dizzy and not at all happy Mr. Richards decided that he would deal with his terrible scarring and slight retardation and try to live life again.

Fortunately, Mr. Richards self inflicted retardation was very minimal, he survived the next year in a reasonably happy state, serving as a toilet cleaner for a local fast food store. Unfortunately Mr. Richards happiness was not to last...

...his balls could be used as a shock absorbant to escape from this place. After remembering what Morpheus had told him, he decided to...