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Scrios Mais vs. Daggerhands

Started by: Thuiy | Replies: 10 | Views: 2,185

Thuiy

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Oct 20, 2012 2:35 PM #764113
This is the thread for the fight between my character (Scrios Mais), and Loki's character (Daggerhands)

Loki will post his battle in this thread later on, but for now, here is my battle:

My fight (Click to Show)


Thank you for reading. If I did anything incorrectly, please tell me, and I'll do my best to fix it.
Linkonpark100

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Oct 20, 2012 2:55 PM #764131
This is cool. Just when Loki finishes his, I'll vote for the best.
Loki
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Oct 20, 2012 3:34 PM #764155
Thanks to Thuiy for the opportunity for my first battle here on Stickpage in the newly formed wRHG!
Enjoy :D




wRHG No.1


Daggerhands vs Scrios Mais
Firebrand vs Terrakinetic
Loki vs Thuiy




The brightly lit boulevard was pretty much the only place in the city that Daggerhands frequented with little care for his training to never form a routine in his private life. He’d walk the path under the shade of the oak trees that lined the way with the glorious beauty of a personal honour-guard made from the bowels of the earth.

So Daggerhands found himself happy at the prospect of visiting it again to watch the activities of his new opponent, an interesting person to say the least. He sat in outside in the cosy heat, shaded by a bright-red curtain held up over the outside of the shop by stands, sipping his fresh, creamy coffee, nibbling on a maple pecan pie and reading a book, joys he rarely experienced without worry.

He split his concentration between the Game of Thrones and the opponent who was sitting just inside the doors, visible through the shining glass, obviously enjoying his cinnamon-sprinkled donut and milky tea. Daggerhands never felt so peaceful in pursuit of an enemy, but the though brought him to reaching into his jacket pocket, as if looking for glasses or such, and gripping the glock he held tightly, before reaching into his deceptively deep pockets for his knife and glancing at the suitcase to make sure his government-supplied automatic rifle was still in place.

He returned to his regular pose, noticing Mais’ eyes flicker slightly. Was he looking at me? Daggerhands pondered, but he doubted it considerably. He wasn’t slacking…was he?
The thoughts caused him to lose track of time until he snapped back to reality and realized he’d practically been out for something of three or four minutes.

And Scrios was gone.

He felt his chest seize in panic for a few moments before he noticed the door at the end of the room closing shut, a figure disappearing inside it.
Daggerhands remained as calm as he could and slowly rose to his feet, trying not to draw any attention. He picked up his fairly hefty suitcase and walked slowly through the doors of the café, navigating his way between the mass of tables, most of which waiting silently for a person to sit at them. He made his way across to the door and recognized the little symbol of a stick-figure man, under which was the white letters;

MEN’S ROOM

Daggerhands opened the door and walked briskly inside. He didn’t remember what happened next, but suddenly he was looking up at the lights above as his head struck a melodious, aching beat and his body felt as if it had just been cracked with a sledgehammer.

He managed to sit up and saw the carnage that had been done. The walls were cracked a splintered, the mirrors were broken and a steady stream of water like a fountain streamed from the burst pipes of the taps, the soft mortar scattered in sharp fragments over the tiled black and white floor.

Scrios Mais was there on the other side of the bathroom, near the entrance, his eyes darting between his incapacitated opponent and the scorch marks where the explosion had been summoned. Every snapped back to Daggerhands as Scrios walked over, still thinking his opponent was in a daze.
He was wrong.

In the space of a heartbeat, Daggerhands forced himself to his feet and drew his dagger, alerting the young wizard to the awareness of his victim. The casual looking opponent looked cautiously back at the firebrand, watching his every move.

For a few moments they eyed each-other, each of them breathing heavily in anticipation of the oncoming fight as they remained as still as they possibly could. It was finally the Terrakinetic that made the move.

Scrios pushed his hand out at arms length towards Daggerhands, who ducked as an explosion triggered right behind him, sending a small shockwave and the remains of an already battered sink their way. He countered with a powerful left hook to Mais’ jaw before following it up with a swipe that slashed across the Terrakinetic’s chest, drawing blood but barely cutting very deep.

They kept sparring, every time Scrios made a move, Daggerhands would dodge the explosion or the spike emerging from the ground and exploit the opening as much as he could with a flurry of deadly blows.
Until the Terrakinetic took a risky chance.
He sprung back slightly to avoid a right-handed punch before jumping in again, trying to deliver a punch. Mais misjudged it and got a heavy battering to the head.
The cyborg spy took an aggressive step in and clobbered him with a left hook, stunning Scrios for a few moments before delivering a strong side-wards kick to the side of the Ex-Demolition Man’s knee. Mais dropped down slightly as Daggerhands swung the blade in for a finishing stab to his opponent’s neck.

But the Terrakinetic wasn’t done yet.

Suddenly, a massive pillar of stone crunched through the tiles of the floor with the force of an explosion.The force sent ripples through the air as the Firebrand was launched through the door to the bathroom, splintering the wood into countless shards, and sent flying across the room before crashing down in a group of tables near the entrance to the café, knocking over a multitude of tables and chairs, breaking most of them.

He groaned as he tried to remove himself from the present daze, his head spinning. He was close to seeing stars as he rolled over onto his back and fumbled with his glock, desperate and dizzy.
He sat up in time to see Scrios sprinting at full speed from the lavatories, steadying his hand to gain an accurate timing.

Without his knife Daggerhands raised his cyborg arm.

The rest seemed to happen in some sort of Slow-Mo. Daggerhands watched as the blast began to form at the forearm of the metal arm which was hidden by his suit. It grew quickly, curling around the arm and extending even further.
It tore right through the fabric, until it finally reached the alloy.

There was a sudden pop as the world was restored to its regular speed, the essence of the explosion getting sucked straight into the metal, causing it to pulsate with pure energy.
Scrios watched in pure amazement as it happened, while Daggerhands aimed his hands nearby to counteract the Terrakinetic’s immunity to explosive forces.

A nearby group of tables and chairs ruptured in a great outburst of fire, sending several of them careening through the air towards Mais. They hit him one by one in consecutive order, each one of them knocking him back a bit more until the final one caught him in the head.

He flipped backwards in an incredible stunt-like fashion, twisting and writhing in the air, until he landed with a heavy thud on the wooden floor, groaning in pain.

The spy drew his pistol and opened fire,

No more than two in-accurate bullets were let loose when a massive pillar arose from the ground underneath the Firebrand, sending him flailing through the air until he came into contact with the windows.

He was lucky, the sharp sides only lacerated the cloth of his suit and not his skin for the most part, but he didn’t have enough time to dwell on that before he crashed down onto the table he’d been sitting at a few minutes before.

He lay stunned for several moments before regaining his senses, spikes of pain darting throughout his body,
He wrestled himself to his feet just in time to jump away from a small blast where he had just been.

Mais ran and launched himself out the window using an acrobatically timed jump via a rising pillar of earth.
He landed lightly on the ground on front of Daggerhands and they stared at each other, unmoving, for a few moments.
Then suddenly, Scrios raised his hands and the spy felt the ground shift beneath him. He hadn’t the time to get away before he was hurtled through the air and landed with a thud in the traffic-ridden street. Several cars screeched to stops as he landed.

Daggerhands gave a wounded moan and tried to sit up, but he felt a massive sharp sting in his chest and fell back down. He cocked his head to get a look at the problem.

He was impaled on a stone spike.

The realization hit him like a freight train. Death was something that he grappled with often, but never had he felt such an air of incredible hopelessness, he felt he had been beaten.

Scrios advanced slowly…and then he saw where the spike was.
Daggerhands had never seen a look of regret in anyone’s eyes when they were about to kill him or anyone else. The spy could feel the gaze as the Terrakinetic hesitated momentarily, his tracing the Firebrand to search for any other wounds.

‘Will you yield?’ Mais called to him as Daggerhands lay his head back and sucked in breath after breath. He could feel an icy touch lingering in the tips of his fingers and toes, slowly spreading, but picking up in pace.
‘I can save you’ Scrios told him, ‘But you must yield first.’

Daggerhands was thinking. Thinking hard than he had ever thought before as the blood began to pool around him. He’d be lucky to survive another few minutes with the blood-loss.
He was about to fail his first mission.

The spy felt tears running from his eyes. He had never failed, he had to complete the mission, but Mais was the only one who could save him.
The firebrand raised his gun and aimed as Scrios froze on the spot, looking down the barrel of the pistol.

‘Mission complete, motherfucker’

The gun crackled and the terrakinetic went down, blood pouring from an open wound in the middle of his forehead.
He hit the dirt with a solemn crunch as the firebrand lay his head back and embraced his oncoming demise.

It was a few hours later that Daggerhands awoke, his head throbbing violently. He opened his eyes but saw only more darkness and tried to breath, but coughed violently at the bitter taste of the warm, musty air.
There was a bag over his head.

He tried to move his arms, but they were tied to the bench too, and when he tried to sit up he found his legs had been tied down too.

‘Don’t even bother.’ A voice called, he recognized it instantly.

‘Mr Green.’ Daggerhands spluttered feeling the smiling gaze of his boss, the CIA Director, upon him. There was a brief moment of silence.
‘What do you want with me?’

‘It’s our fault really.’ Mr Green told him with a condescending tone that went unhidden, ‘We misjudged you. You’re a field man, not a Gladiator.’
Daggerhands felt a warmth around his chest. It didn’t take him long to realize that he was still breathing, they’d just applied something to haul the pain.

‘What you did back there was…a gruesome misconduct. You fought in a public area with a multitude of witnesses and you made no effort to draw the opponent away. You were predictable, messy and probably above all, unprofessional.’

‘So, I guess you are wondering what we are going to do with you.’ Mr Green said, on a different note, ‘Seeming as you are unfit for duty as the representative of the CIA. You probably know that it would be almost impossible for us to place you in a foreign country without the SAS or the MI5 finding out. It narrows your capabilities down considerably, especially since you aren’t actually American and, therefore, you are incapable of serving in the Pentagon and/or Homeland Security. You probably know where this is going.’

Daggerhands heard Mr Green stand up and shuffle around for a few moments, before he heard the faithful click of a magazine being loaded into a pistol. The spy could hear the CIA Agent advance forwards a few steps before halting.
‘I thank you for your service’ Mr Green went on, ‘Code Name: Daggerhands, Ex-MI5 and Ex-CIA. Congratulations on your first Gladiator victory.’


Agent Daggerhands has been terminated as a Gladiator combatant for me. I will be introducing another one as soon as I work everything out and post a story or two on the newly formed Writers Lounge (Thank you, Chromium.)

Thanks for the opportunity for the battle Thuiy! :D
Thuiy

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Oct 20, 2012 3:42 PM #764163
I like the severe difference in my character's personality in the two fights. In mine, he goes out of his way to not be discovered, whereas in yours, he kind of just destroys everything.
Loki
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Oct 20, 2012 3:57 PM #764186
Well, honestly, if a guy was stalking you and trying to kill you and you knew he was, would you confront him one on one if you know he has possession of a weapon or would you try and get the drop on him? And are we allowed to vote? Just wondering.

And it just goes to show how different writers cast the same character. I wasn't exactly going to victimize YOUR gladiator, was I? Besides, in mine my guy was trying to end the fight from the start. In yours, Daggerhands was given an ample opportunity to end it from the start, but passed up the chance.
SJCRPV
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Oct 20, 2012 4:21 PM #764210
Both stories were nice but I voted for Loki's, as his version was better described and didn't have the word repetitions that Thuiy had. :)
By the way, it's a shame Daggerhands died, I really liked that character. I thought of him as an Agent 47 with hair and a cyborg arm XD
Sacred
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Oct 21, 2012 8:49 PM #765505
Great reads. But I have a key element both of you should strongly follow. The opening paragraph is a very important thing you need to establish. It's what previews the reader as to what direction the written story is heading.

Thuiy your opening paragraph honestly to me was a little atrocious. I was already getting uninterested the moment I read "a normally gentleman". The rest of the paragraph was explaining what to me was a conflicting and odd biography. The rest of your story had an uncountable amount of run-on sentences and comma splices. And as you may have already taken note, you have a wordiness issue. You repeat yourself a lot. If a statement has been established in one sentence, there's no need to restate it in the next.

Loki I enjoyed your vocabulary throughout the story and the way you described visuals. However, like Thuiy, I was also a little turned off from the first sentence. Using "pretty much" sounds like a very casual and unenthusiastic tone. Which made me already slightly lower my expectations. The rest of the paragraph contradicted with that tone which made me even more confused. And like I said, the opening paragraph is a preview. And the rest of your story was having the same routine. Casual, then enthusiastic. It was making me feel unbalanced.

Regardless, Thuiy's negatives outweigh Loki's. So my vote goes to Loki.
Devour
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Oct 21, 2012 11:34 PM #765645
Personally, I liked Loki's quite a lot more. I could picture what was going on much better, and Loki portrayed Daggerhands very well. He showed Scrios's empathy as well.
Thuiy

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Oct 22, 2012 2:38 AM #765787
Thanks to everyone for the feedback. I'll try not to repeat myself so often in my next fight, and in response to Sacred's post I will try to not use as many commas as I did in my story, and I will try and make my introductions a bit more interesting from now on.
Sacred
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Oct 27, 2012 6:51 AM #770220
I think it's safe to put this one in the record books. Loki takes a win here.
Loki
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Oct 29, 2012 4:39 PM #772549
Yeah I think we should end this.

Thanks for the competition, Thuiy. Good fight :D
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