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wRHG Battle: JJ vs. Sacred

Started by: Sacred | Replies: 9 | Views: 1,902

Sacred
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Oct 28, 2012 6:01 PM #771630
Sorry for reposting this battle. But Bond has yet to update the other battle thread to a poll probably because he's not on that much this weekend. So I'm just reposting our battle so that people can actually start voting and critiquing.

Here's both of our entries:
Bond84 wRHG (Click to Show)


Sacred wRHG (Click to Show)
Equinox Fox
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Oct 28, 2012 9:10 PM #771796
And here I was about to.
Just got off work.

Also, great fight, sadly for me I think it's obvious who won this.
cowboy bodacious

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Oct 29, 2012 11:18 PM #772854
that was an epic battle, but i have to say i loved how sacred made you litterally eat your words bond, lmao. gives that phrase a whole new meaning, lol. my opinion sacred won
Sacred
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Oct 31, 2012 2:24 AM #773986
I'm seeing a lot of votes and views. But no critiquing! Come on guys!
Equinox Fox
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Oct 31, 2012 3:27 AM #774041
Quote from Hewitt
Here I go:

Both fights were creative, but only as creative as what their respective abilities were capable of. I was kinda expecting maybe some weird applications no one would think of. I dunno, they just felt one-dimensional and boring tbh. Twas a waste of a good setting and I was hoping Bond would take the fight in his house or something. (For some reason I thought it was implied that his house was made of words.) Speaking of which...

Bond, in terms of setting, Sacred's trounced ya here. I felt absolutely nothing for the fact that your character made a house by himself as opposed to Sacred's verbose and detailed description of the wasteland he walked upon. I almost felt like your setting didn't even matter. And some of the actions during the fight itself were confusing. I had to reread the entire thing again and again because I couldn't tell who was talking and when.

A little more description on the attacks would've helped. For example, when you summoned l and y to make that gun it would've been nice to know what kind of gun it was. Even though it was flimsy/hasty you could've said it resembled something. You could've mentioned how the base of the y served to unnaturally click like a flintlock barrel. I feel these tiny details are important because it gives attacks a little more impact.

There's also the respective reactions between both characters when they met for the first time. It's like JJ didn't even act surprised at what Sacred can do and vice-versa. If perhaps you meant to imply that it was a given and as a wRHG battle they should already be aware of that, then show us the situation. Don't just tell it like it is.

Sacred on the other hand, pulled this off nicely. I'll be honest. Reading Sacred's profile, demo, and this fight in particular, I still have the vaguest idea of how his ability works. What I can say is that I was able to discern it better in context with Sacred's fight than Bond's. The characters reacted more naturally, the setting was well thought of and better described than Bond's. My only gripe I guess is the lack of spacing when the characters are talking; a format style you seemed to be accustomed with as it's also apparent in the stickpage defense story. I just find it confusing, and had to copypaste it to my own desktop and space it myself just to be able to read it.

Sacred's description of Bond's attacks and moves were humorously comical and cartoonish, but didn't feel like they were. The confused style it produced warranted a O_o from me. For example, when Bond shouted Medic! and just stuffed the word in him, that was kinda funny. But then you mentioned he jammed it in his ribcage and it made me wonder if you're describing JJ as if he had an actual anatomy instead of a cartoony one. And straddling the line between those two made me rethink about whether your entire piece was seriously grim or something other. tl;dr it just ruined the moment for me.

All in all, I would go with Sacred's if only because it felt more complete and the fight was a little more realistic and memorable because of attention to detail.


Thus why my comment at the top.
Sacred in my opinion trumped me easily. (Hell, I voted for him)
Sacred
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Oct 31, 2012 3:32 AM #774050
Hey Hewitt appreciate the critique, I'll be sure to work on what you've pointed out.

And Bond don't be so modest, the votes are close. Hell you took the lead the majority of the time and still can. Don't doubt how good your work was.
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Oct 31, 2012 3:33 AM #774053
Quote from Sacred
And Bond don't be so modest


Not modesty my good friend. Honesty.
Sacred
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Oct 31, 2012 3:35 AM #774057
I won't sit here while someone condescends their own work of literature! This is blasphemy!
Sacred
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Oct 31, 2012 3:49 AM #774082
Honestly I planned myself on having breaks in between wRHG battles. Just a traditional ritual I'd like to keep on myself. But I will battle you in the near future Hewitt. Just you wait.
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Oct 31, 2012 3:58 AM #774094
I'd happily fight, and not procrastinate, you Hewitt.
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