So I've come across a dilemma in my life. Within the past half year, all of my friends who I consider probably closest to me have all gotten into drugs, cigarets, or alcohol. And when I say into, I mean every time we hang together (2 or more people) the plan is to go smoke a bowl or light a pack or drink some. Now don't get me wrong, I honestly don't have a problem if that's what they want to do with their lives. I've already talked to basically each and every one of them and had a conversation on why they do it. In all honesty it's their lives and it doesn't bother me all that much to be around it. But it's gotten to the point now where it's practically the only thing they ever do or talk about. I was part of it for a short session; I did some weed and felt the experience of what it was like and didn't think much of it. I refuse to do cigarets or alcohol because that's not my style.

This didn't really get to me until suddenly my older brother (age of 20 and still lives with me) and a couple of his pals started associating with my drug ring group of friends. Now they're sort of a part of it. My own brother. That's kind of a wake up call. And now I'm smack dab right in the middle of all of them passing around each other all this shit that I don't even find entertaining. Guilty by association as they like to call it. And plus now I don't really enjoy myself when I'm around them. But the extra problem is that garnering new friends in your senior year of high school is second to none extremely difficult to do considering at this point everyone's settled in with their group of friends and are terribly socially uninterested in the classrooms or hallways.

It's an understatement when I say I'm ready to move and get a new life, because I've grown out this one. I'm only 17, but mentally I'm way further on where I want to go in life. I'm not trying to rush anything, only trying to escape. Should I just ditch everyone at this point and close myself off for a little? Because I'm strongly considering it so I can get a new focus in my life.

they chosed there own path...you choose your own and dump your old life and stay away of them...

Ok,if they are taking drugs,dont be friends with them,especially when u dont wanna have it in ir life,u will find a new friend one day

It's not that I'm afraid to take risks. I already did weed for like a little less than a month and I didn't find it fun enough to keep doing. I honestly prefer to do something else. Not because I'm scared to do it, but because I legit don't care to do it.

Ditch them then, if you can't identify with them very well then there is no point in spending time with them.

if it's just some stoners then i don't see the problem. if they're heroin addicts and crack cocaine dealers, then you'd have something that's actually worth worrying about. the worst you can get from too much weed is bad grades and laziness, which isn't really your problem. and almost everyone casually drinks alcohol, especially at your brother's age. if you just don't enjoy talking to them anymore, then you should be writing about that rather than their drug use

Just do whatever makes you happy. Most "friends" will naturally fade away after high school as everyone will go their separate ways.

edit: My brother was the same way. Eventually he grew out of drugs and alcohol and now we are best of pals.

Quote from Index

if it's just some stoners then i don't see the problem. if they're heroin addicts and crack cocaine dealers, then you'd have something that's actually worth worrying about. the worst you can get from too much weed is bad grades and laziness, which isn't really your problem. and almost everyone casually drinks alcohol, especially at your brother's age. if you just don't enjoy talking to them anymore, then you should be writing about that rather than their drug use

Well it's a merge of the two which is why I gave out the drug side of the story. I don't enjoy talking to them anymore BECAUSE all they ever do now is drugs, alcohol, or cigs. Yeah basically all they do is weed, although I'm hearing some stuff about blow. Regardless, I don't mind the weed, just the fact that they've made it to where there's nothing else to do but get stoned. It's tough because these were my friends who would laugh with me at how stoners got kicked out of school and shit and we thought they were idiots. Now we're on the other end of the spectrum and they don't seem to pay much mind to it.

Well the first thing you should to is to try to persuade them not to use them. Tell them the consequences of what will happen if they continue to use it. But if they refuse your warning, well, if that's how they want to live their lives you really can't do nothing about it. But if I were you, I'll keep trying to persuade them to stop.

Quote from AlphaMan

Well the first thing you should to is to try to persuade them not to use them. Tell them the consequences of what will happen if they continue to use it. But if they refuse your warning, well, if that's how they want to live their lives you really can't do nothing about it. But if I were you, I'll keep trying to persuade them to stop.

this response is bad and you should feel bad.

Quote from Scooty

this response is bad and you should feel bad.

And please tell me how it is a bad response? Won't you try to help your dearest friends to stop something that would ruin their lives?

Weed and alcohol don't ruin your life and sacred already said that's not the problem he has with the whole issue.

Like I said in the first post, I've already talked to each of them about it. But it's not my place to decide what they do with themselves. They already know that I'd prefer them not doing it, but my opinion doesn't make their lives. And I realize that. Instead of trying to convince them what not to do, I'm more concerned about what I should convince myself to do. Don't get me wrong, I care about my friends. But the reality is just like what Snane said which I've already known for a while now. High school friends don't really stay in touch once high school ends. That's why they have high school reunions. So there's no point in bringing myself down trying to help people who won't even be involved in my life much longer. I need to focus more on myself, which is why I'm planning on just closing myself off for a little bit.

Don't be afraid of change if it is good for you. People change over time, and sometimes this means that they become a different person from who you originally knew. This may mean that the qualities that lead you to befriend them may be gone, or they develop negative qualities that outweigh the good ones. The only thing holding the friendship together is time. Do I think this is a good thing? Yes and no. It is good because it is a sign that you should also change. It is bad because you will be losing someone you know. It is up to you to decide whether to adapt or remain the same.
In my opinion I would choose to distance myself from them. If they were truly concerned for what you felt, they wouldn't smoke and take drugs around you. They are placing their own selfish needs over your concerns.
You don't need to completely ditch your friends, just don't dedicate too much time with people you are reluctant to hang out with. Connections can be important. I'm no expert in finding friends, but from my experience they come naturally. As long as you are a good person and have some social skills, you are bound to find opportunities where you can make a friend. It is just a matter of exposing yourself to different people and placing yourself outside your comfort zone. And what better motivation is there then having no friends?