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Flipside (Shaq-of-All-Trades) vs Nox (subzero1112) (Shaq Win)

Started by: Azure | Replies: 6 | Views: 1,858

Azure
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Jan 18, 2013 8:19 PM #854832
This is the link to my story. Nox will provide his sometime soon, since his was too large to send in a PM. Thank you for reading, and I'm sure we'd both appreciate C'n'C.
Nanite
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Jan 19, 2013 4:53 AM #855249
Here it is :) :

Two Sides of a Coin
"Heal without question. Kill without reason."

"Title" (Click to Show)


EDIT: This is actually my 4th wRHG battle, since the 3rd one, against Shadowkirby was post-poned, and I have already finished writing my part. I'm just waiting on him, no deadlines, since I want to see what Shadow comes up with.

EDIT2: Forgot Dark Flipside was also a maso. Dammit.

EDIT3: Read your story and it was awesome. I might vote for you even. e_e
I don't normally vote for anyone if I'm in the battle.
Azure
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Jan 19, 2013 3:58 PM #855626
Thanks, and your battle was quite amazing as well. I was honestly worried when writing my part that I'd get the personality wrong (one of my weaker points). Your story got Flipside rather well, and I was honestly amazed when you used the scientist from my demo. Thanks for being my first battle here.

EDIT: Ah, looks like I'll be losing this one. Still, fun battle.
Nanite
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Jan 20, 2013 3:01 AM #856099
Quote from Shaq-of-All-Trades
Thanks, and your battle was quite amazing as well. I was honestly worried when writing my part that I'd get the personality wrong (one of my weaker points). Your story got Flipside rather well, and I was honestly amazed when you used the scientist from my demo. Thanks for being my first battle here.

EDIT: Ah, looks like I'll be losing this one. Still, fun battle.


Your votes are increasing, I may perhaps lose this one, too. The way you used Nox and the transformation was greatly displayed.
Although, why do no one leave CnC anymore? And where's Hewitt?
Crank
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Jan 28, 2013 1:54 AM #864834
First of all, I'd just like to say that both of you put up one heck of a fight!

Shaq, all aspects of your story seemed strong to me, you had a solid flow, a powerful fight, and used emotions very well. The only little thing that I'd see every once in a while, is when you had a double capital, usually FLipside, but it was easy to just go over without getting out of the story.

Subzero, again, great fight! It flowed really well and was intense all the way through. There something that I caught as I read through your story. It doesn't seem like too big an issue, but it really adds a lot if you can fix it. Throughout the battle, there would be times that you'd repeat the same word right after you just said it earlier in the sentence, or in the one before. It's an easy fix once you know what you're looking for, and makes a clear difference.

"He was invited, of course. Nocifer walked up to the main building. The building was large, easily a thousand feet tall, maybe more, and the letters "RHG" was visibly engraved into the structure. Nox walked into the front entrance of the building, the glass doors of which, promptly opened for him. He walked in."

"He was invited, of course. Nocifer tred up to the main building. The construct was large, easily a thousand feet tall, maybe more, and the letters "RHG" was visibly engraved into the structure. Nox made his way into the front entrance, the glass doors of which, promptly opened for him. He walked in."
Azure
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Jan 28, 2013 2:07 AM #864847
Hewitt, I literally just remembered I need to inform Crank about this. Thank you bro. And Sub, thanks for the battle. It was a fun write, and I appreciate your acceptance. Maybe we can fight again some day.

Edit: You're both awesome people.
Nanite
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Jan 28, 2013 2:47 PM #865314
The comments are incredibly useful. Thank you both for the comments.
And thank you Shaq for the incredible battle, although this may be my last written battle in a while. I'm gonna stick to animating for a bit.
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