"Good evening everyone and welcome to..." well, I'm not sure how many of you have seen Whose Line Is It Anyway, but this thread is dedicated to one of the improvisational comedy games they play on that show, and that is Scenes From A Hat.

How it works:
We pick a topic, or... many... and each of us comes up with a joke on that subject.
For example, a good one for
"Things you can say about your motorcycle but not your girlfriend."
would be
"Yea, sure you can ride her. Everyone has."

We'll be storing the topics up here in the first post and every time you make a post just type in the number of the topic, your joke and a few suggestions for new topics if you want to. I'll start us off :

Topics:
1) Things you can say about your car, but not your girlfriend.
2) Rejected Terminator catchphrases.
3) Things you shouldn't hear from your doctor.
4) Things you shouldn't say when meeting the president.
5) Weird things to say on a date.
6) Rejected replacements (censorship) for the f- word.
7) People you don't want showing up at your party.
8) Things you wouldn't expect to read in a suicide note.
9) Strange birthday gifts/wishes.
10) What she said.

Let's see what you can come up with for these. :)

Skip me but, Good Idea

1) "Here she is. Ain't she a beauty? Come on, look under the hood, don't be shy. :)"
2) "I will snack." Terminator Breakfast Cereal! Now, for only $9.99.
3) "I haven't slept for three days."
"Well, here are your x-ray results. Everything seems to be in order... wait... has THAT thing been stuck up there for all this time?"

3) ...how the hell do you work this thing?

1) I can't even begin to tell you how loud she gets when you turn her on.

3).....oops.

1) I've ridden her for many years... and let me tell ya, I still think she needs to get a nice cleaning in there.
2) "I'm not Jack... but your death will still be painful."
3) Thanks for being my first patient! Now, just let the anesthetic kick in, and we can begin this colonoscopy.

4) "President Obama, is it true what they say about black men?"
"It's not a gun. I'm just very happy to meet you."

Haha, nice Doctor quote shaq.

Quote from Almond

Haha, nice Doctor quote shaq.

Thanks!

4) Hey, Obama! I find that your attitude is overly easy going, you fail to stick up to your promises, and you pretty much let Congress walk all over you! But at least you're still with your daughters, so you're the best black father I know!

4) Let me get my phone from the inside of my jacket real quick!

3) Oh!! Is that what that does?
4) Im robbing a bank soon

4) Can i step outside for a bit and check on something?

5) "You're a much better kisser than my cousin."

6)My fucks are pretty pink.

5) I'm glad you said yes; when I asked your sister, she was a major bitch.