My fourth joke: A police pulled over a car, and the officer got off his motorcycle and walked real slowly to the driver side. He spoke to the person in the car "Do you have any idea on how fast you were going?" the person was silent but then the cop spoke again "You were going just at the right speed, your being awarded for the best driver on the road." Then the person let out a sigh of relief and then spoke "Man I thought you noticed the cocaine under these seats, and I was really worried that you found my weed hidden within the tires of my car," After saying so the cop went silent but the man continued on "Don't worry officer I am just a bit drunk, I have all the bottles to prove how much I have been drinking," The man then pointed to the back of the car and right there were seven cases of beer, but all the beer within the bottles is gone "Also I hope you don't mind but this isn't even my drivers license," the man said while showing him the drivers license, the picture showed a woman with an eyepatch and a golden tooth. Nowhere near what the man looked like. "Also my license plate is long over expired but I'm sure you knew that." Then a shout came from the trunk "Hey man we cross the border yet?" in a very stereotypical Mexican voice. Then the man looked around quickly and said "I mean hello officer, what seems to be the problem?"

I suddenly like attempting to make jokes. I don't even want the prize I'm just making jokes for the halibut (now I made a fish pun)

What's red but smells like blue paint?

red paint.
HAHAHAHAHAHH hilarious

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

Meet two and one does not come...... HAHAHA...

Kingkickass, stop fucking posting. Exilement said to pick the best, not to post as many as you fucking can. If you're not going to participate then don't post in the fucking thread. It's that easy.

Exilement, I have a pretty good one, but you might have heard it already. Ill post it for you when I get off of work in a few hours.

Quote from kingkickass2013

Well I posted my three things, so far the longest jokes here. I am content with the jokes and I am leaving them there.

Quote from kingkickass2013

I suddenly like attempting to make jokes. I don't even want the prize I'm just making jokes for the halibut (now I made a fish pun)

Quote from kingkickass2013

Tada, browse em all. Okay I'm finish talking here. NOTE I am not competing with you.

FOR GOD'S SAKE EXILEMENT GET TO 10,000 ALREADY! STEAM SHIT AINT WORTH IT!!!

Hey Exilement do you know why little Timmy dropped his icecream?

I'm going to steal this corny joke from Pulp Fiction that most of you guys probably already know

So there was a family of tomatoes; papa tomato, mama tomato, and junior tomato. They were walking in the street when junior tomato lagged behind. Papa tomato slowed down, stood next to junior tomato, and squashed him, saying, "ketchup."

Quote from Mecha-Hewitt

Yeah I'm still waiting on my answer to this.

I'd prefer it if everyone stuck to one joke, but you can post more than one if you want.

KKA is disqualified, I don't know what's so difficult about listening to simple rules. Stop spamming this thread.

When there's no power at home, Chuck Norris studies under his cigarette.


This is some original joke I just made about a minute ago.

religion

I'm so far deep in the friendzone, that I've met her boyfriend's parents
:I

Quote from Gunnii

Hey Exilement do you know why little Timmy dropped his icecream?

Because he got hit by a bus.

Quote from Gunnii

Because he got hit by a bus.

Its more funny when you say it face to face.

I'm taking this from an awesome comedian. I don't known exactly if it's correct but here it is.

A man got a woman drunk. They went back to her place and she immediately passed out. Now the man decided to be a gentleman and laid her on the couch, covered her up with her blanket and left her a note saying: Sorry for raping you.