Observer Protocol Weekly#2 - Please vote and CnC

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ErrorBlender
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Sep 11, 2013 2:42 PM #1082704
Weekly # 2 for the Observer Protocol. As usual and promised, the weekly will get a poll to see who wins and claims the chance to choose the weekly or the next mission. CnC is always appreciated and encouraged. Vote fairly and wisely guys.

Observer Protocol Weekly # 2 :: Frosted Fear
Word Limit::
Minimum :: 500
Maximum :: 3,000
Flavor::
On their way to the rendezvous point, the Observer Protocol members are drawn into a deep slumber. Their dreams take them far away into the realm of their subconscious. In this way, three mysterious cupcakes float around in their dreamscape. One wishes their safety and beckons them to consume its delicious mouth watering insides but another cupcake detains them in their mind, trapping them in the endless void of their own fears. A third sits atop by itself, silent and levitating. It is the exit.

The members are trapped in their deepest nightmares made real by their darkest fears. Trapped and alone, they must snake their way across the rooms devoid of happiness and escape. Or stay forever.

Details ::
Your character is in their own dreams and is accompanied by three cupcakes. One is good and when eaten, weakens the force of fear the other treat holds against your character.It will always be by your side but is limited like a real cupcake. Once its gone, the character will have no way of weakening the fears it has to go against. The evil one is out of reach, always floating away and commandeering the world of fear. It weakens every time you pass a room it has created. Once it is defeated the final cupcake swoops in from afar and allows you to eat it. [Or shoves itself into your character's mouth]. Your character then exits and is returned to the world.
The world your character is in is his dreams, in those dreams there are a webway of rooms that spread across. Each room is a fear of your character made real. Your character must get past it in order to defeat the evil cupcake. Each room will be more perilous than the last.


And now without further hindrance of my wall of text, here are this week's entries!

[spoiler=Nightlock's Entry :: DreamCake]Why am I so tired? I thought I had experienced jetlag before, but this… My focus was so tinted, I couldn’t even think of a proper description for this level of fatigue. I was just barely able to work the keycard to get the motel door open. All of my bags were still at my hotel room in Tokyo; the one I was in now was an on-the-fly decision so I wouldn’t pass out on the street.

Stumbling into the room, I had just enough energy to move the covers back on the bed before I fell haphazardly onto the sheets…

***


I swear that my eyes had been closed for no longer than a few seconds before they opened again. I’ve never been known to fall into such a heavy sleep, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. Reaching up with my hands, I rubbed my eyes as I sat up in bed. My eyes kept closed as I yawned and stretched my arms and back, and I began to scoot over to the edge of the bed. I don’t remember this bed being so large… this must be some motel-.

I stopped dead in my tracks as I let my legs dangle off the edge of the mattress. Dangle? Opening my eyes in confusion, I looked down and noticed the distance between the floor and my hanging feet. For a moment I sat and thought, trying to remember the makings of the motel room. Walking in I didn’t look around to familiarize myself with the space, I had immediately went for the bed. But if there was one thing I knew, it was that I was able to get onto the bedding with no problems having to climb into it.

As I looked around the room I felt my jaw open wider and wider. I don’t know how it happened, but I was no longer in a strange motel room. Instead, I found myself gazing at my old dresser and T.V. and each of my pictures and knickknacks. I was in my old room back in Gold Beach.

With a boost of energy, I launched myself off the bed and ran to the closet door mirror. The quick pitter patter of my feet held my attention for a second as I noticed my stride was much too short. Stopping dead in my tracks, I locked eyes with a pajama clad, shorter haired, four foot vision of myself. Wide, shocked blue-gray eyes bored back at me, and before I could question the impossibility of what was happening, my mind immediately brought forth a conclusion that had me awestruck in its fortuity.

Satu’ara Zine… amazing. Could it really be? Did I really develop my future-sight at such a young age to foresee my life in my dreams?

“No, that wasn’t a dream.” A high pitched voice said from behind me. Jumping, I scanned the room through my mirror for its source. “This is a dream. You’re really dreaming now. Right now.” It continued. Looking up, I focused on what looked like a floating cupcake, not too far above my right shoulder. In the mirror’s reflection I could see the incredulous shock form over my face.

A cupcake? What? Did it… is it…talking? “Did you hear me?” Why is a cupcake talking to me? “Hey.” Is that… red velvet?…I like red velvet. “Hey! Listen!”

Turning to look directly at the flying pastry, my eyes furrowed before I asked, “Yeah, I’m listening. How are-” I stopped my quick reply from surprise at hearing the adolescence in my voice. Oh my gods. “What happened? Why am I a kid again?”

“Sunshine, who are you talking to in there?” A very familiar voice rang out from the hall outside my door. Turning my head, I watched as my Dad walked in, clad in his suit and tie. He watched me with fond curiosity before continuing. “Did you finally start creating your own imaginary friends? I thought you said you were too old to do kid things like that.”

No. He’s really here? Really? Feeling the tears form at the edge of my lashes, I ran to him and jumped, knowing I would be caught in his arms like I always used to. “Daddy!” I chokingly exclaimed.

“Hey, now. What’s the matter, I was only teasing. I’m sorry, sweetie.” He said sincerely. I had missed him terribly, and now that he was here I never wanted to let him go. I held onto him for as long as I could, when finally he said, “I love you, Sunshine. Now, I have to go visit Gran for a couple days, so you’ve got to take care of Mom for me. OK?”

Stilling, I leaned back from our embrace to take in his suit. Jerking my head to the wall, I looked over at the calendar and searched for the day’s date. I felt my heart shoot straight down into my stomach as soon as I found it. Oh gods. It’s today, it’s gonna happen today… My breathing began to speed to a point where I was nearly hyperventilating, and I shot pleading eyes to him. “Dad! You can’t go. Stay here please. Please! Don’t go!” My mind pleaded with all its might, telling him that he couldn’t go. That if he left right now he would die.

But as if he hadn’t received my thoughts, he smiled and said, “It’s OK, Electra. I’ll see you in a couple days.” Turning in place, he walked out my door and straight down the hall.

“No!” I shot forward and turned to the left, following after him. But as soon as I passed the doorway of my room, I could see him already at the front door. What? But the front door is downstairs… I stopped momentarily to figure out how the door had moved, but started forward again when he reached for the handle. “Dad! DAD! DON’T GO! DADDY, NO!” Over and over I cried aloud as I ran after him, but it was like he couldn’t hear me or wasn’t listening. I sprinted as fast as I could but something wasn’t right. The further I ran, the harder I pushed myself, the further from the door I seemed to be getting. In fact, the hall began to stretch and stretch ahead of me, continuing to get longer with each step.

“Hey!” I heard over my shoulder. I ignored it and continued on. Faster. I have to go faster. I’ll never make it. Please, don‘t go! Dad! Don’t die!

“Listen!” Suddenly, the floating cupcake from earlier came into view, directly ahead of me, and charged straight at my head. It was a soft and painless crash, but it accomplished its purpose. I finally stopped, heaving and gasping for breath, and turned to the cupcake.

“Why can’t he hear me?! He’s gonna die! Doesn’t he know that he’ll die?!” I was yelling at the dessert.

“Listen, OK.” It said. After a moment’s pause, as if the cake was testing if I would interrupt, it continued. “You’re dreaming right now. Right now. This is a dream. You’ve been locked into a dream world that summons your fears and nightmares and plummets you into them. You were lucky I was able to get here before it was too late and you were stuck here for all eternity.”

I was slowly shaking my head at the cupcake, hearing the words but not understanding the importance. “Lucky that you’re here? But you’re just a cupcake! How will that save my dad?”

“I’m not here to save your dad, silly. I’m here to bring you back to the real world. I’ll help you beat the faux-cake and return to normal.”

“What? What in the world are you talking about? Faux-cake?”

“Yes. That’s who brought you here. He’s a muffin trying to be a cupcake, and uses the nightmares of the living as its icing.”

“… what?”

“Quickly, or we’ll lose your dad.” It said. Looking back at the door, I saw that he was halfway through it.

“Why is he moving so slow?” I asked. Now that I knew I was dreaming, the heartache of losing him again wasn’t so overwhelming, and I was much more calm.

“Because I’m here. If I wasn’t, he would have been long gone by now, and you would have been stuck here. Now, you could run as fast as you can to try and get there before the door closes, or you can take a bite of me and I can help you with my magic. But be warned, this isn’t the only room that will feed off your fears, there are two more, and if used sparingly, you might be able to get two bites out of me to help you in those rooms. Which will you decide?”

Looking at the hallway’s current length, I took a step and watched it stretch again. Every step was getting me no closer than I was. “Why do I need to get to the door?”

The cupcake sighed and said “You’re not listening. If that door closes and you’re still here, then you’ll be trapped. Forever.” Did this thing just sigh at me?

“OK, OK. I guess… are you a red velvet cake?”

“Yes I am. I’m purposely made to be one of your favorites.”

“Why aren’t you chocolate? That’s my favorite.” I guess no matter how mature my brain is; as long as I’m in a kid’s body my mind will wander.

“Your favorite flavor is the flavor of the exit cupcake. I saw it on your dad. He has it. You have to get it from him and eat it so you can leave the dream and return to normal.”

Seriously?

“So will you run, or eat me? Quickly!”

“Alright, I’ll take a bite of you! You will help me, right? This isn’t a trick?” I asked as I reached up to catch it.

The cupcake landed on my outstretched hand and actually helped me get it to my mouth quicker. “Yes.”

Use it sparingly. It was small in size, if I wanted to I could eat it in one bite, but that wouldn’t help me now. I still needed this bizarre cake’s help. Placing half of the cupcake in my mouth, I took a bite and began to chew… it’s good. I swallowed and looked to the door. Starting slowly and picking up speed, the hall began to shrink back towards me, like someone had released one end of a pulled spring.

But I could see my dad at the door was moving quicker too. He now had majority of his body through it, and at the speed the hall was moving at I wouldn’t make it. “Run, quick!” Said the half eaten cupcake.

“I know!” I yelled back as I had already launched myself forward. Moving as fast as my short legs could take me, I lunged for the door. Sliding on the knees of my pajama bottoms, I made it just in time to shove my arm into the crack of the door before it closed, and kept my body’s trajectory away from slamming the door on my arm.

“You did it! Yay!” Exclaimed the cake.

Yay? Just how old… well, it is a cupcake… that’s kind of like… a baby cake, I guess. Getting up off the floor, I threw open the door and stepped through. Almost immediately, my depth perception shot upward from the ground. Confused and stumbled, I fell onto my extended hands to cushion the fall.

“There! The door to the next room. The next fear is through there. That’s where the exit-cake is. But first we need to beat this room and this fear, are you ready?” The cupcake said. “Hey, you’re big now.”

I looked up at the door across the room as I stood. Examining my body once I was upright, I realized that the cake was right. I was back into my adult body. “OK, then let’s get through this room already.” I said. I was getting annoyed that I was inhabited by these baked foods, and I wanted this over as soon as possible. “Let’s go-” I took a step forward and noticed what this room’s fear was. I was on a platform by the door I used to get here with a similar platform by the room’s exit, on the parallel wall to the first. Only in between the two platforms was twenty five yards of a straight drop to what looked to be a spiked floor.

I immediately jumped backward, pushing my back against the door. The pain in my chest had already started, and my breathing had picked up once again. Dammit!

“Oooooh, you’re afraid of heights? Hm, that poses a problem. You won’t be able to get across if you can’t conquer this fear.” It floated in front of me as I frantically reached for my ambrosia… only to find it gone. “No, the faux-cake won’t give you an easy way out. You need to move fast. Eat the last of me. I’ll help you. But after this, I’ll be gone. So remember, eat the exit-cake and you go home.” The cupcake moved closer to my face and hovered. My breathing was heavy, and I shut my eyes to block the scene. Taking as deep breaths as I could, I opened my mouth and waited for the guardian to feed itself to me. “Good luck.” was the last thing it said before I greedily chewed it.

In only a few moments, my equilibrium returned and my breathing steadied. Opening my eyes, I watched the bottom floor move up rapidly until it replaced the gap in the room and leveled the floor into one walk-able space.

Moving to the last door, I took a deep breath in preparation and turned the knob. Walking through it, I found myself outside by rocky terrain with distant mountains. Heavy winds combed through my hair, and when I turned to face the door I stepped through, I found it gone. And in it’s place was a very, very familiar cliff edge. Oh, no.

Just at that moment, a gust of wind pushed at my back. The Dragon. Without having to turn around I knew immediately where I was and what was going to happen next. Or at least I thought I did.

A black taloned hand gripped at my neck and lifted me off the ground. Spinning me to face the figure, I came nose to nose with the black dragon of my nightmares. And just like before, he slowly shifted shapes, and shrunk down to its human form. Slowly I was able to recognize its new face, its hair, his eyes… It took the shape of my father.

“Don’t worry SunshineR
ErrorBlender
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Sep 16, 2013 12:54 PM #1084299
I'll go first then.

I think that this one was a great success of a challenge. I thank blakphoenix for coming up with this. The cupcake and word limit really did force us to think and challenge our minds as writers. So, I'll go off to CnCing now.

Nightlock
The fears you showed were realistic and more so human than what I expected from a magical creature like Electra(Except the dragon part) but it did well. Not to say that magical creatures shouldn't have human-esque fears I just thought of things differently I suppose. The story as a whole did grip me to read and made me relate a bit more to Electra. Good job, friend.


blakphoenix
I liked the descriptiveness of the story, even with the 3k limit you continue to make poetic arts with them. Bravo dude. Anyway, the fears have been from bad to worse and I liked how it flowed. Steve the [not]Pharaoh to Akiko/Kiarah. I got to know Ensiron a bit better and his old escapades. It deepened his past and it shrouded more with mystery. Nice. There were a bit of grammatical bumps but nothing too serious.


Chamel
Your story, though only had one fear, gave us what Chance was built from. The Chance we know now and how he came to be. With that one fear you described how Chance acts and reacts to the world around him and with that, you did well. You accomplished a lot with it and displayed the despair your character went through. Under the facade was a broken man. Awesome job. You did well with the limit and cupcake as well. A good read indeed, Chamel.


VERDICT:
I didn't vote the last time because I didn't want to but now I'd think you guys would want me to. So here I go. For all intents and purposes, I liked Chamel's. It was filled with what fueled Chance to be the Chance we know now. The rest of ours were indeed fears but nothing molded them better than Chamel's. That's my two cents.

*gives two cents to Chamel*
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Sep 16, 2013 6:58 PM #1084372
EDIT :: I just wanted to state that I didn't realize this was posted yet, so a quick apology to OP for not jumping in immediately. ^^;

Quote from ErrorBlender
Nightlock
The fears you showed were realistic and more so human than what I expected from a magical creature like Electra(Except the dragon part) but it did well. Not to say that magical creatures shouldn't have human-esque fears I just thought of things differently I suppose. The story as a whole did grip me to read and made me relate a bit more to Electra. Good job, friend.



THANK YOU~ LOL. I've been waiting for someone to remark on Electra's personality/back-story(both personal and world story) just so I could elaborate more on the character. I only write so much to make sure I don't bore the reader, but really I've broken down the character and story down pretty far. :p Yes, I'm weird about bringing up such topics myself as I feel that doing so is slightly conceited and pointless if no one is interested. LOL

Electra is indeed a magical creature, set in a world where preternatural are not so uncommon - But I created the character based on our RL lifestyle. She was raised by a human half of her life, and in human surroundings all of her life. She does embrace her supernatural bloodlines, but she still has a history of human upbringing and that's how I've sort of based not only her, but the entire story. My version of fantasy is a little of how I interpret everyone's goal of fantasy is, only tweaked slightly. To my understanding, people use fantasy to escape the real world for a short time, and occasionally wish to be a part of that escaped realm and live the life of a hero(ine). My goal when it comes to fantasy is not to take the reader away from RL completely, but to make the fantasy story relatable in everyday situations, and sort of bring the story to them while keeping the fantasy escape feel. I wanted Electra's fears to be relatable to everyone (loss of a loved one, common phobia, and fear of death), yet still incorporate other worldly causes/relations to connect with those fears. I hope that helps you understand Electra and her story. (I should really title this :p)

CnC (Click to Show)
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Sep 17, 2013 5:11 AM #1084555
I'm still waiting for others to participate in this whole voting thing. I'd like some non-biased opinions. After all it's obvious mine is the best and the rest of OP should respect that. I just want some third parties to agree with me and to too understand my cat-like god complex. Lol!

Ok on da real doh (which translates to "for real though" for anyone who doesn't speak african-american gangsta thug or ebonics), I am soooo proud of you all for allowing the humor of the situation to flow naturally with your character's personality. Error you had some especially dark dream sequences that slightly startled me, though I was aware of the depths to which this type of scenario can reach. Nightlock....that was the most realistic thing I've read in some time...it felt so....everyday....aside from the dragon part, but still you have a certain realism to your writings which is interesting. Chamel...i'm sorry...that story made my heart heavy and my prostate weak, my bladder is full to bursting. References aside, that was a gripping piece with a very cool style of storytelling that seemed almost like a movie.

In the end, I think I want Night to take this one. Mostly cause his father/dragon/cupcake twist was pretty nifty.
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Sep 22, 2013 7:14 PM #1086976
First and foremost, it made me grin that everyone knew they were in a dream!
That said:

Nightlock:

I think you did a really solid job portraying all the very real fears, and as someone who's actually afraid of heights, I diffidently understood that last one! I remember once when I was a child I broke down to tears in the middle of a lighthouse. The metal floor had a pattern of holes so the entire time I could see exactly how high up I was. It was petrifying, and even though I could feel it was holding, the only thing I could imagine was it breaking and me falling to my death. I actually catch that visual any time I get too high up, that said, I don't know if that's just me or not. If not, it would've helped if one such fall bombarded her brain until the sight left her line of well, sight. Great story regardless though! Lots of grins out of me!

Error:

You're story showed a ton about your character, mad respect for that! You mentioned that you had issues with the word limit, so this may have been the reason why it was lacking, but I would've enjoyed a lot more sensory detail and Cooper's response from it. Maybe that's moderately unfair, but seeing how he's confided to his suit (unless I missed some huge event) I think his senses would've been actively on his mind. Like perhaps the discomfort of a wrinkle on his shirt, or how his socks in his shoes are irritating him. The small stuff really, the things he took for granted back when he was just flesh and bone that are suddenly coming back to him. Very nicely done!

blakphoenix:

First and foremost, Steve is currently the bomb. As someone who's not familiar with your character, you did a great job making this story able to be stand alone. I never felt like I was lost and confused, and whenever I didn't know who someone was it quickly became answered in a natural way for me. Respect! That said, the only thing that really threw me off was how quickly Zero was able to be alright after killing Akiko. Now, I've never killed anyone but I feel like that act alone would take a toll. And then it would take significantly more when its a loved one's blood on your hands. I don't know, it just felt like it didn't hit him hard enough, like it would've been a lot more devastating that it could've been. Still sick story though!

Chamel:

Interesting work, it kept me entertained the entire way through and the end pricked my curiosity! Couple quick things though, 'bloody' seemed to grow overused after a while. Independently they all made sense, and I get that there are words that people just say a lot (moderately, significantly, and mysterious for me), but it's something we've really got to watch out for in writing. As for the other thing, you may want to consider using similes, metaphors and that sort of thing in your stories. They're like spices on a good steak. Is steak good by itself? Without question, but something magical happens when you sprinkle on that seasoning. It goes from yummy to delicious in a heartbeat, but if you start throwing them around like a monkey throwing it's crap at another like it just insulted its mother, then it's just going to be far too much, like you've got the same leftovers for the next three weeks like someone way overcooked for Thanksgiving like they were practicing to be the next master-chef.

Hope that makes sense!

Observer Protocol is diffidently a force to be reckoned with! I look forward for more to come from you guys!

EDIT:
Colossally unrelated, but do you guys know you can link images and animations the same way you can link words? I only ask because it just struck me that none of your clan sigs lead back to OP. Just an observation.
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Sep 22, 2013 11:13 PM #1087077
Thanks guys for the CnC. Crank, I would formally would like to request for you to vote on the polls to see who got the better out of the four. It's sort of a mini-competition for the participants. :)

Yeah, I've been meaning to ask them and edit my own sig but other matters pressed me to do otherwise..
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Sep 22, 2013 11:17 PM #1087079
E-Blends! Are we really going to over look his "just an observation" comment and simply thank him for his great CnC? I found that quite humorous. Still holding on to my wish for more outside participants. Thanks Crank, thank you for noticing us.
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Sep 22, 2013 11:20 PM #1087081
The more outside participants/CnCers the better. Though none have applied to do so in the this and the first one. Yes. Thank you Crank. :)
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Sep 22, 2013 11:55 PM #1087091
Heh, no sweat guys!
I was going to vote, but the polls were closed.
I've got to give it and a challenge to Nightlock though. All were sick, but that one just stuck out a little bit more for me.

Oh! And don't worry about getting noticed, that's just going to happen naturally once you start rolling heads!
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Sep 23, 2013 1:55 AM #1087132
Quote from Crankuba
Nightlock:

I think you did a really solid job portraying all the very real fears, and as someone who's actually afraid of heights, I diffidently understood that last one! I remember once when I was a child I broke down to tears in the middle of a lighthouse. The metal floor had a pattern of holes so the entire time I could see exactly how high up I was. It was petrifying, and even though I could feel it was holding, the only thing I could imagine was it breaking and me falling to my death. I actually catch that visual any time I get too high up, that said, I don't know if that's just me or not. If not, it would've helped if one such fall bombarded her brain until the sight left her line of well, sight. Great story regardless though! Lots of grins out of me!

Thank you. ^^ You know, it probably would have been a good idea to add her trauma source. It'd given me the chance to go into detail about that personal weakness of hers, and portray her anxiety a little better. Thanks for the tip, I'll try to remember to add in places similar to this when the opportunity arises. ^^


Quote from Crankuba

EDIT:
Colossally unrelated, but do you guys know you can link images and animations the same way you can link words? I only ask because it just struck me that none of your clan sigs lead back to OP. Just an observation.

Clever use of our Clan name there. :p

I tried but the Clan Sig still hasn't turned into a link. Could I get a few pointers, preferably a walk-through on how to do it? Thanks :)

Quote from Crankuba
Heh, no sweat guys!
I was going to vote, but the polls were closed.
I've got to give it and a challenge to Nightlock though. All were sick, but that one just stuck out a little bit more for me.

Oh! And don't worry about getting noticed, that's just going to happen naturally once you start rolling heads!

Thanks for the vote~ :D And I do believe that the challenge has been set ^^

I think I have 3 in line ATM before you, and I haven't yet readied Electra for battle. If you could be so gracious as to wait, I'd truly be grateful for your patience. ^^
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Sep 23, 2013 6:48 AM #1087224
So currently you are all tied up in a three way but we can't have that. Since the poll was closed and Crank wanted to vote I'd allow that for the meantime :D

So now, we have Nightlock as our current winner of this weekly.

Now then, Nightlock, pick the theme of the weekly OR be the head of the next clan mission. Your choice.