Friday Funk #1: Return

Started by: acutelatios | Replies: 27 | Views: 6,250

acutelatios
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Jan 10, 2014 3:23 PM #1139143
Welcome one! Welcome all! Welcome to the first Friday Funk of 2014!

For those who don't know, Friday Funk was a weekly exercise that happened on every Friday where the mods would get you to do an activity to help you improve on your skills as an animator, artist or writer last year. Or it could help keep your skills from rusting. It depended on which section really. In this section, the mods would give you a writing prompt, or rather topic, to base your story around. This could range from a single word, a phrase, a setting, a theme or a picture and you'd have to post it on this thread before the next Friday when the next Friday Funk activity would be posted.

This year, it's basically the same thing. Every week or two (it depends on the prompt I gave you) I will post a writing prompt to which you must write about and post here before the due date. There will be some people who will help me in writing CnCs (Comments and Criticism) to help you find out what to improve on your writing and what you did right!

Got it? Okay~now on to the first prompt!


Return (Click to Show)



This story will be due at the 18th of January; you can post your story any time before that time period. Oh and please mind to use spoilers when you do. Thank you~

Merry Writing everyone! Also anyone is free to CnC the entries; you don't have to be part of the CnCing people I have in the roster~
o w o
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Jan 10, 2014 3:29 PM #1139147
Alright! Will make this as soon as I can! :D
blakphoenix
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Jan 10, 2014 7:21 PM #1139229
Alright! Will make this as soon as Error can! :D
SaulMurphy
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Jan 10, 2014 8:25 PM #1139277
I can only think that people would typically use their wRHGs, but I guess it isn't a requirement. THUS I will attempt to fine tune my writing using something else. I don't know if it completely fits the requirements, but I'm sure the Cnc will tell me so.

ff (Click to Show)
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Jan 10, 2014 11:49 PM #1139353
I can do a tale like that, give me a bit of time I think.

Just a short cute story about Torvins daughter, in a little kids narrative style.

Zoe's big day at School! (Click to Show)
Kyra

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Jan 11, 2014 2:40 AM #1139443
For additional reading experience click here.


Rykosar's Light (Click to Show)
Crank
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Jan 11, 2014 5:34 AM #1139553
The Saint and Sinner (Click to Show)
acutelatios
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Jan 11, 2014 6:28 AM #1139574
Wow guys this is great keep them all coming! I'll give my CnC on them as soon as I can, so expect them soon~
Also even if you're not joining or part of the CnC crew I have, you can still CnC and give your thoughts to the entries~

It'll be much appreciated I'm sure~
o w o
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Jan 14, 2014 1:15 AM #1140963
Since I have some of Bek's abilities being awakened in his fight, you'll have to forgive the lack of understanding of some of the concepts that are used. Still, hope you can enjoy.
Bek's Exercise (Click to Show)
Crank
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Jan 15, 2014 8:47 PM #1141818
I'll be doing these one by one, but I'll do them all.

CnC: Saul Murphy
ff (Click to Show)


Tremorfist:
Zoe's big day at School! (Click to Show)


Kyra:
Damn. I can't find anything to say. Someone help me out here?
Diffidently very warm and heartfelt, I'm not nearly as emotional as most other people so I didn't get feels, but I still got a genuine smile. I can't personally see anything that needs changing, it was extremely good in my eyes.
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Jan 16, 2014 4:43 PM #1142175
Well, this week....i'm not going to say. I'll be sure to speak up quicker for the next Friday Funk which almost sounds like Casual Tuesdays at work but, instead of not dressing formal nobody showers. Anyway, I'm going to be swift, decisive, and highly encouraging in these CnC's.

Saul-Good themes to play around with, perfection and it's monotony. When it comes to short excerpts like this it's always good to emphasize a theme in every element of the piece for a full on effect. This way when it goes through a change or changes the world around it we can be like "Omg, tht was so totes cool lolololol" or whatever it is people say nowadays.

Kyra and Tremorfist- If theres two things that I find absolutely adorable it's little kids and old people (anyone else can suck it!) Both your pieces were nice and I found it great how in Tremor's the childs lost item was the reason for the story but not the emotional focus, and in kyra's the lost item was a child and the emotional focus.

Crank-GET OUT! Haha! I kid I kid. That was good as pizza rolls. Short and sweet....although pizza rolls probably shouldn't be sweet. Unless they're Ice cream filled...yeah that's gross. Anyway nice job.

Azure kite-Way to be different! Lol, i'm not sure if that sounded mean, because it wasn't intended to be so. Anyway I liked how your missing thing was...well missing from the story till the end. It wasn't recovered really, but I hope it does get found (for your character's sake).

If there's something you'd like to bring up about my CnC then please tell me and i'll try to be kinder because I know these were quite harsh (all but crank's anyway).
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Jan 16, 2014 5:52 PM #1142186
The Attic (Click to Show)
RichardLongflop
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Jan 16, 2014 8:00 PM #1142210
Ooh I shall have to take part. This is gonna be interesting, since my guy can't speak/understand speech/ has the intelligence of a gosh-darned dog. This gon' be fun.
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Jan 17, 2014 3:35 AM #1142365
I'll get mine edited on this post.

Rushed in two days. My laptop is fritzy and wouldn't respond had to do it elsewhere.

[spoiler=]
I can scarcely recall a day in my life before it happened. Before my life changed for the worst and how me and my sister have been leading nomadic lives since then.

“Hey,” My little sister says under deep and heavy breaths. She leans her right shoulder on the concrete wall and she faces towards me. “Are we close?” She asks. I ruffle her hair using my hand, her auburn hair was disheveled and oily from the sprint and it covered her brown eyes from view.

“We’re close.” I assured her even in between pants though the safe house was nearly a kilometer away. “We’ll make it there soon.”

I flipped over the flap on my shoulder bag and fished out a waterskin. I bring it up near my ear and wiggle it a bit. The slow gush of water inside meant that it was nearly dried up but just enough for a few gulps down the throat. I quickly hand it to Felicia who smiled and took it gently from my hand.

“I’ll leave a gulp for you, Stain” She says as she unscrewed the top cap of the waterskin and brought it up to her mouth. Crystal clear water trickled down the container and into Felicia’s mouth. I felt my mouth get dryer every second I watched but I kept myself from staring too long. After a few swallows of the life giving liquid, she passed the waterskin to me. I jiggled it a bit to learn how much water there was in it. There was still some that jostled the container a bit. I noticed only later that I gulped it down faster than I had anticipated. Felicia looks at me and I look back.

The look on her face was plastered with worry. She wasn’t the trusting child she used to be and is now growing to be a suspicious survivalist of the 32nd century. Or as the folks back in the Cacophones call it, NeoStone Age. My gaze transfers from my kid sister to the heartless landscape before us. We were in an alleyway that overlooked the barren wasteland before us. Sandwiched between two buildings, the sun’s blistering light couldn’t reach us. There used to be a saying that this was once a bustling city of mechanical wonder but all I see now is garbage, trash, pollution and death. I read in books that roads paved the way for the future but now the streets are cracked and broken. A somewhat weird metaphor made reality.

I nod to Felicia and she immediately understands. It was time to move.

My legs lead me downwards towards the broken road. A few leaps and strides lead me safely down and Felicia mimicked every step. Soon enough she was brushing her skirt from the dust and her smile was directed at me.

“Let’s move!” She says. I don’t hesitate and follow her lead as both of us, the sibling duo, weave through upturned vehicles and fallen lamp posts. Our feet trek the damaged asphalt, kicking up dust as we take each step quickly but each chosen carefully. None of us want to break bone. There was no medicine for that. Break bone and you’re good as dead here.

Even though I can barely remember my own childhood, I can picture my sister having a funner childhood than this. Scavenging for food, for clothes, for useful junk some of the other Cacophones want among other things that should be done outside the borders isn’t in the painting I have made for her in my head. What I’ve had in mind were sunny days in the Lush, that fantasy place the Elders tell us was once part of our world. They said it had been years since they’ve been to one. I say it is just myth now. The only patches of green life I see are those near our home, even then, they’re only nearly green but if my painting for her had any major color, it would be green. To see her happy face, her smile in the Lush, would make me endlessly happy and I’m sure Mom and Dad would be happy as well. If they didn’t leave us.

“Stain!” She cries, she stretched her arm to one side which signalled me to stop. “Hush…”

I looked around, something moved in my peripherals. A shadow between the alleys and others in between the cars. “Scavies.” She mutters. “Stain, where’s your gun?”

I fish out my pistol from the shoulder bag. If I remember correctly, there were still six rounds left in its mag. I bring the pistol up to shoulder height with fingers curled around its handle. “I’m ready.” I lie.

She brings out her hunting knife and tazer, and her eyes try to find a target. I do so too and at some point our backs are on each other.

“Scavies on the right, Stain.” She says. A few shadows dance near the cars, some even stop to growl. Their shiny eyes stare at us hungrily.

That feeling of rising dread rushes over me. I’ve fought Scavies before but each time only worsened my fear of them. Their toothy grins still mark my nightmares and their claws wound my dreams.

“Some on the left too” I say back. I sense that there are more than just a few but I’m hoping otherwise. A pack of these are bad luck, almost a death sentence if you’re not prepared or not numerous yourselves.

One of them jumps onto a hood of a car, its jaw dangled precariously from its skull. It looked to be as if it was hanging by muscle sinew and skin. Its tongue though was completely moving. The Scavy stared at us. Its four inch claws dug into the car’s steel as it let out an ear shattering howl. It could have been compared to a man that ate less than a teaspoon a month but I knew better. These had strength to rival that that of a grown man but me and Felicia know how to take them down.

The scavy leapt. In response, both my arms raised themselves and I squeeze the trigger tight. The gunshots echoes through the city and the deadly creature is found lifeless on the ground.

“Nice shot.” She compliments. She pushed down a Scavy body from her person. Apparently she had stabbed that one thrice. The body fell limply on the asphalt, tongue flopped out of its mouth.

“Nice kill.” I say back.

But our smiles end there because when I look around again, I see that there are more Scavies than we had thought. A lot of them. The day was also ending very soon, the sky was light orange now, if we can’t get out of this place now, we’d be Scavy food. I frown and let out a sigh.

“We’ll be here a while, Felicia.”

“We might not leave, huh big bro?” She says. I can’t see her face, I can’t tell if she looks like giving up now or it was sarcastic. I wish it was the latter. We have to make it. If we ever want to find out whether our parents are alive...It’s been years.

“We can make it.” I say, trying to sound sure of myself but as I gaze around my eyes notice the siloughettes of Scavies everywhere. Even on the roof tops.

“Should…” She chokes on her words then shakes her head. “We should run.” She says, more definite of herself now.

I nod. “I’ll keep them distracted a bit, shoot some down.” I suggest. She shakes her head. “Cut us a path then?”

Felicia nods. “Same route to the Cacophones. We’ll need to be quick, the Scavies are closing in…” She says.

“Okay,” I muster up the little courage I have. Fear is my fuel, my fuel will keep me going…” Let’s go!”

I bring up my pistol and ready to fire as me and my sister face the way to the town. A Scavy roars towards us. I nearly pull the trigger in when a different gunshot takes it down.

“Wha-?” I stutter. Three more gunshots rapidly take out some of the Scavies’ that surround us.

“Someone is rescuing us!” Felicia says excitedly. Her face looks relieved and I wonder how does mine look. I felt a massive weight lift from me but it isn’t over. There are still a few more Scavies left and the others that the mysterious gunshots don’t strike down are left to us. Felicia and I keep to ourselves, doing our best to deflect and kill the Scavies that attempt to approach.

After a grueling five minutes of blood and gore, the Scavies do let up and leave. I collapse to the ground, my back against a car’s trunk. Felicia crashes just beside me. She lets her head lean on my shoulder.

“We should thank them.” She says to me. I look to her, she looks exhausted.

“We should. If they come to us.” I say. “I’m too tired to move.”

“I wonder what dad would say about you...right now.” She says. “Before they left, he always wanted you to become brave and strong.” She said jokingly and even made an emphasis on strong.

“Hey, I got buffer this year.” I laugh as I attempt to show my biceps. “See?”

“They’re as tiny as last year!” She exclaims.

“No they’re not.” I counter. “You’ve just been with me the entire time and you didn’t notice the growth.”

“Sure...whatever.” Felicia giggles. “They’re alive right?”

I look at her and she stares back. “Our parents are alive?” She asks again.

Before I answer, two shadows cover the little light the sun gave.

Both of us look up and couldn’t believe our eyes.

“Yes, love..” A feminine voice said. “We’re alive.”

Felicia is overcome with joy almost immediately. She stands and gazes at the woman. Her own auburn hair matches my sisters and within seconds, has Felicia’s arms wrapped around her waist.

I feel a firm hand grasp my shoulder. “Hello.”

A single look at him and I knew almost immediately. “Dad…” My eyes suddenly get glassy and my mouth can’t make any words other than “Dad”.

“Its okay,” My dad says. “We’ve got you now.”

“Where…” I manage to say but its drowned in tears.

“We left you in the care of the Cacophones...we never really found our way back.” Our dad says.

“We did our best, Stain” My mom says, caressing my sister’s hair. “There are more than Scavies out there. Some more dangerous than the last.”

I want to complain. I really do. I want to yell at them for leaving us for so long. They left us to the Cacophones but they treat us like an additional expendable. I want to tell them off, tell them each hardship we conquered without them, show them how grown up Felicia is even without them.

But I can’t.

Because they’re my parents.

And they’re here.

I ball my hands into fists and try to contain all the emotion inside but one floated above the rest. It was relief. Relief that my parents are alive! That everything will become better. My sister is happier than when I’ve seen her in her happiest in the Cacophones since they’ve left...For now, I just glad they returned. Anything else can wait.
[/spoiler]
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Jan 17, 2014 3:46 AM #1142371
Azure Kite:
Bek's Exercise (Click to Show)


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The Attic (Click to Show)


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