Hey! So I finally got to writing up a CnC for ya! Hope it's useful!
“Blows that land on its curved side will bounce forcefully off “
-The head of a spoon is curved on either side, so I’d recommend you’d state whether it is the ‘scoop’ or the back of the spoon.
“This energy hurts a lot”
-Is it a specific type of pain or sensation? A burn, an ache, what can you compare it to?
“Minor burns will result as well as throwing the attacker a great distance, but this is typically non-fatal unless an energy blade is involved. That would result in a deadly explosion.”
-What causes this? A bow to the spoon by skin to metal contact? Is the energy blade yours, or the opponents? Clarify! You must make the abilities and effects VERY clear, or the person challenging you have to waste time sorting out a muddy description, and end up with a poorly portrayed version of character which does justice to neither of your skills.
“You have been warned!”
-Cute, spunky even, but its fluff. I’ve said this in other cnc’s, this profile is your resume. This is the entire layout for your character so that they can be properly portrayed by whatever opponent you may face. This is a reference sheet for you (though hopefully not for very long after some practice) and anyone who challenges you, digging through fluff and muddy descriptions wastes time, energy, and results in a less than satisfying product.
“Sand – A few grains convert to a dense cloud that seeks enemies for a short time. If none are found, it disappears. If this attack catches an enemy, it will drive itself into the skin or armor of it unceasingly until vanishing after a short while.”
-Give specifics, or a more exact range of time, and maybe something other than a few grains. A few grains can fit on the tip of my little finger, a huge spoonful however, if enlarged and weaponized can do damage and cover more area.
“Grass – Bits convert to slashing blades that penetrate and tear anything they smash into.”
-Limits. Can it cut through a diamond? Can it slash armor, skin, bone?
“He is like every other organism, and can suffer from broken bones, blood loss etc. If he ever gets downed in battle, his shadow will be absorbed into his spoon. The spoon will fly off to a safe area and swirl around in the air. Once it stops spinning, Spune will reappear in a bloom of light below it. If this ever happens, that would mean he is defeated.
Unlike other vertebrates, if his spine or neck breaks, he will not die, but lie immobile as his body slowly repairs the damage. He is defeated if this happens. Broken arms or legs do not hinder him much, and he’s still able to create a cocoon to speed up his healing. Despite all this, his high speed makes him difficult to nail with a forceful attack.”
-Does he die or what? How do broken bones cause him to suffer if they don’t hinder him? How is he like humans if he does not share their limits? I’d rethink these and level them out a bit more with his abilities.
“Despite all this, his high speed makes him difficult to nail with a forceful attack.”
-Why is this listed in weaknesses, this is an attribute which aids him, keep your categories straight!
-The personality is decent, but not very deep. I have very little feel for him. Is he flirty, or stoic, or nonchalant? How does he view others? What situations ruffle his feathers? You can’t get insanely deep into his being, but deep enough so we challengers have some sort of idea about what makes him tick.
-Appearance is a style choice, if he has a human form, please do include it, if not, awesome! Living stick figure! Just remember that normal people might react oddly to him. keep in mind the world he is in, and how others must see him.
-The story reveals aspects ignored in the profile. Does he use spells? What is the cocoon made of, how long does the meding take? Etc, etc. Clarification. Lay this man out, flay out every aspect you can to make each challenge a fair fight and an even portrayal of your warrior.
-As for writing, it’s decent, fairly straight forward, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I see plenty room for more style, so please do explore. A deeper look into the character is always appreciated as well, just thoughts, feelings, etc. Also don’t be afraid to explore other names or pronouns to use for your gladiator in writing. He, him, the spoon wielding warrior, the something something something. Other descriptive ways to let us know who you’re talking about cause sometimes reading the name over and over can get old.
-Other than that, I have my own preferences in reference to format of profiles, just introducing the character first and then the abilities later, perhaps. Or other such ideas to create a more sleek look, and easier navigation.
My parting words are going to be about clarification and elaboration. We wanna know everything thing, and this is where we go to find that. Lay him out for us to pick apart and properly write him and put up a fair fight, ‘cause if we can know your character, then we can’t write him to due justice.
A decent profile, I look forward to your works! Hope you could find things to take away from this, thanks for asking me, and good luck on your future battles!
-Twitchy