Zackeroar vs Nhaleet

Started by: XDHunterNest | Replies: 5 | Views: 1,275

XDHunterNest
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Mar 18, 2014 5:13 AM #1176868
This is my debut battle and Nhaleet's third battle (if I'm not mistaken?). Anyways, good luck to both of us and may the best writer win!

Nhaleet

(Click here for Nhaleet's Part)


Zackeroar
Zackeroar's Part (Click to Show)
XDHunterNest
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Mar 18, 2014 5:14 AM #1176869
[EDIT] NVM. Added the poll :3

Edit: Now that the thread's in order, I wish good luck to both of us. May the best story win!
iarentevil
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Mar 18, 2014 6:44 AM #1176893
Good luck to you as well.
And I want some CnC this time.
My last battle had 10 voters and only 1 gave any CnC.
Guys, I WANNA KNOW HOW I SCREWED UP.
XDHunterNest
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Mar 18, 2014 8:45 AM #1176931
We don't even have any voters yet. No one's noticed the thread T_T
Ken_Rou
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Mar 18, 2014 3:38 PM #1177149
Both of you did an amazing job! No major grammar errors and good story telling.

One of the few things that ultimately made me decide was the length of story. Compared to Hunter's story, iarentevil's was WAAAAAY too short. Maybe it's because I'm viewing both pages on my iPad (school iPads FTW), it only took me a short flick to get me to the bottom of Nhaleet's battle. I usually don't decide the victor over length, but since the two of you have about the same amount of strength in writing, I voted for the longer. iarentevil, putting in more detail about the setting and actions can make sentences suprisingly longer.

As for XDHunterNest, you had the word "Zackeroar" in there a few times when it was unnessesary. Fix that up, and you'll be good to go.

I enjoyed reading both of them. Great job guys!!
XDHunterNest
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Mar 19, 2014 5:02 AM #1177343
Quote from Ken_Rou
Both of you did an amazing job! No major grammar errors and good story telling.

One of the few things that ultimately made me decide was the length of story. Compared to Hunter's story, iarentevil's was WAAAAAY too short. Maybe it's because I'm viewing both pages on my iPad (school iPads FTW), it only took me a short flick to get me to the bottom of Nhaleet's battle. I usually don't decide the victor over length, but since the two of you have about the same amount of strength in writing, I voted for the longer. iarentevil, putting in more detail about the setting and actions can make sentences suprisingly longer.

As for XDHunterNest, you had the word "Zackeroar" in there a few times when it was unnessesary. Fix that up, and you'll be good to go.

I enjoyed reading both of them. Great job guys!!

Thanks for the CnC, man. Yeah I do agree I had the word "Zackeroar" in there a ton of times. I'll keep that in mind next time. Thanks for voting, too! :)

EDIT: I thank you guys for voting and participating in our battle. :) Good job though, iarentevil.