Kalena Eirwen vs Wildfire

Started by: Lobotomizer | Replies: 6 | Views: 1,174

Lobotomizer
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Jul 31, 2014 11:42 AM #1224867
As always, comments and critique is welcome. May the better writer win.

Spoiler (Click to Show)
air. Each person did their own, only occasionally interacting with one another when they had to.
Tersha, in particular, was pacing around with nothing in particular to do. On occasion the blond young man would turn his head to the direction of the kitchen, where the smell of meat and dough wafted into the air in a tantalizing combination of flavours. Pancakes, he mused. Bacon, too. Always could count on Alicia to cook something appetizing.

He motioned toward the kitchen, perhaps to just take a look at her progress, but just as he closed onto the living room he could hear muffled voices, barely
masked by the sizzling of flame. Not the normal kind; no, it was that of someone almost shouting...and it came from Kalena’s room.

“You’re not fine Kalena, you can hardly walk, let alone swing an arm!”

“I can fight! What use am I if I cannot?”

Almost immediately after Tersha let himself in did he regret doing so at all. Kalena was sitting at her bed as usual, but in front of her stood Jeff, who was by all accounts, far more livid that he would normally be.

“Hey, wh-”

“Tersha!” Jeff spun around, all too eager to throw his assistant into the argument, “you tell her!”

“Tell her what?” Tersha asked half heartedly, all too ready to withdraw from this mess.

“Look, listen,” Jeff gestured with clenched fists, “Our dear Kalena has just got an invitation to play gladiators. And she’s accepting it despite, oh I don’t know, the fact that she can’t even walk on her own!”

“I can!” Kalena interrupted, gritting her teeth in frustration, “it is my task to fulfil, what business do you have to stop me?”

“I’m stopping you because you’ll kill yourself!” Jeff shouted in return, before quickly turning back to his assistant, “look, you’ve got to convince her. I didn’t raise her to be that way!”

“Raise her to be what?” Tersha shook his head, refusing to pursue in the matter,“look, just let her do what she wants.”

“Tersha!” Jeff sucked in a breath, horrified at the blatant defection.

“Tersha,” Kalena nodded in his direction, clearly in agreement.

“Don’t ‘Tersha’ me!” he scowled, “why don’t you think about it for a second?”

Jeff opened his mouth to speak, only to freeze for a moment, looking into the other’s expression briefly before realising what the other was implying.

“....Fine, fine,” he muttered, finally withdrawing the room without another word.

___________________

That was ten hours ago. Kalena was given allowance to leave, if only so on the grounds that she would simply cut her way out if she weren’t. All that was left was to await her opponent in the secluded outskirts of town,as promised by the nameless challenger.

She paused to breathe in the fresh evening air. It had only stopped raining a few hours ago, and the fresh scent of it remained in the air, affording her a slight sense of solace. and calm.

She already knew. What she was doing was foolish. She was fatigued even the moment she left her bed. Old wounds continue to ache, and her calf where a laser had burned through impeded her movement with a dull throb, and a searing pain when she tried to run. But still she had to. The past two months of inactivity have plagued her, as well as the death of her closest friend. Deep down, she knew that if she could not distract herself from the past, she would soon collapse from grief and regret. That was perhaps, the driving force that pushed her to fight in such circumstances.

Her hand gripped the handle of Adelaide, the sword of truth that had accompanied her for so long. And then there was the sinister presence she’d felt haunting her ever since she recovered. As if something was there, watching her. At times she would hear a distant snickering, so similar to the laughter in the cathedral, only for it to disappear as if it were nothing but her own imagination. Only the constant companionship with her blade allowed her sanity to be kept intact.

“Bless the heavens, I’d never thought you’d actually show up.”

Her head turned slightly, her vision greeted by a man in the distance, steadily striding forward without a hint of hesitation, “Kalena Eirwen, The “hand of justice”, they called you. What a blessing it is to see you in person.”

His tone was half praising, half mocking, as if he had meant to be intentionally abrasive.

“Stay your tongue,” she replied in a quiet voice, “ I have no need of praise.”

“Of course, the hand of justice would say that too. Such modesty.”

He stopped when he was just a few metres away from her, and she finally saw him in detail. His appearance seemed fairly unremarkable at first glance, but he donned a mask that covered the lower part of his face, and an imposing greatcloak that made him seem larger than he really was. Flickering cinders seemed to rise from underneath, lighting his figure a dim orange.

“Allow me to introduce myself,” he bowed mockingly, “the name is Wildfire.”

“Another man hoping to ride upon the coattails of the system’s fame and fortune, “ she accused bitterly.

“So what if I am?” He raised his head, emanating a grin that even she could see in his eyes, “Will you stop me? That is, after all, the sole reason why I came to you. I want to know just how strong you are, how...truthful your ‘justice’ truly is.”

She backed into a preparatory stance, her gaze a cold determination, “your arrogance bears an unsightly mark.”

“I wonder.”

There was no warning. It took only half a second for her opponent to spring into a leap, lunging at her to place her directly into his range, She swung her blade
in front of her, letting his fist impact squarely into the flat of the metal. He recoiled, and was forced to pull back as she swung right at his neck, almost managing to decapitate him.

“Already looking to kill?” Wildfire teased, circling around her with deliberate footsteps, “is that what you do? Murder those who disagree with your views?”

She made no response, merely closing the distance between them with a single stride, but he was just as quick, stepping in just as she did while swinging past the thrust from her sword. He retaliated with a knee into her abdomen, followed by a crushing blow with his fists that she only managed to block with her other arm, causing her to stumble from the sheer force. Throbbing pain shot up her injured leg, and it was all she could do to stay upright.

This time he swiftly lifted his arm, bringing forth a whirlwind of cinders and flame. The intense heat wave washed through her, stinging her with a pain that enveloped her body. She cut her offense short, rolling back before the fire could truly burn her flesh. The flames met for but mere seconds, but already her skin itched and stung from the heat.

“Fire cares naught for anyone’s will; it moves regardless, alighting its surroundings as it deigns fit,” Wildfire gestured to the surroundings with flaring eyes, where lingering flames had already appeared around them, torching the grass underneath them, “I am that fire. What is your justice, your false, hypocritical words worth in front of my being?”

“Can you truly call yourself any better?” She challenged, “you fight for the most shallow of reasons, with little thought or motive. Your arrogance is baseless!”

“That I follow my instinct and live unhindered by pointless concepts such as your beloved ‘order’ and ‘morality’ is good enough!” Wildfire roared, “can you say the same for yourself?”

“I-”

She faltered for moment, and that was the time where Wildfire chose to attack. He sprung forward, twisting his body and putting all his power into a single side kick against her abdomen. She crashed into the ground, desperately attempting to stand while gasping from a lack of breath. But no sooner had she gotten to her knees did he reach her, throwing a punch that knocked her back onto the ground. A crushing stomp only just missed her as she rolled away, but Wildfire had no patience for cat and mouse. He whipped his arm upward, spewing forth a tongue of flame from within his coat.
The searing heat that hit her was unbearable, but her hardened instincts reigned over pain and panic. She rolled further away, smothering the flames on her as best as she could. The pain soon subsided to a throb, and she picked herself off the ground. Wildfire had not moved a single step, only watching her in bemusement.

‘Pathetic,” he said, brandishing a lick of flame from his hands, “Your title is a sham, Kalena Eirwen. A crusader of justice, is that what you truly think you are?”
She opened her mouth to respond, to reject his words, but nothing came out. What could she say? Subconsciously she agreed with him, every fiber of her being. She had unknowingly lost all resolve, her motivation. And it showed in her thoughts.

He advanced, closing the distance within a mere few strides. His fist swung at her with the same reckless force, and she found herself only just able to step back to avoid the blow. She swung to cut his arm, but he was quick to withdraw, only coming back with a knee to the stomach. She stumbled back, barely able to regain balance before she had to retreat again. Had he become faster? It seemed to be, but she could not focus enough to tell. Her mind was too preoccupied, with his earlier words, questioning her motivations, her determination. And most frustratingly, she could not bring herself to reject it. Was everything she fought for truly a lie?

Such liveliness...

She balked as those words entered her mind, foreign in voice and tone. That only gave Wildfire an opportunity to strike her whilst her sword hand was too far to react.

Don’t you wish you had his vigor, his conviction? Oh, but you have nothing to stand for...


She barely blocked the strike with her left arm, but even as the blow glanced off her arm jarred from the impact. She thrust at him, teetering on her toes to follow up with a a wide diagonal swing. But all it did was to simply keep the other at bay until she made a mistake. And when that opening did come when her old injuries protested at the exertion, he rushed in with all the speed and power of a raging animal, sending a flurry of devastating blows.

So fight...fight to survive, Mortal!

There was a ringing laughter, filled with mockery and bemusement, and almost at once she felt her arms jerk and pull, repelling every blow that her opponent afforded. All the while the laughter continued in her mind, grating on her sanity. Confusion and fear took ahold of her mind, and even though she wanted to scream her mouth refused to open for her to do so. All she could do was to watch helplessly as her body moved without regard for her will, in a twisted dance that seemed to mimic her fighting, but her movements stilted and sudden, not unlike a puppet.

She watched herself duck and and move, her arms swings deflecting every blow that came her way. And when an opening came, her sword arm shot forward, cutting Wildfire’s offense and almost threatening to disembowel him each time. His flames flickered and danced with his attacks, but then she only cut him off with inhumanly accurate swings. But once, Wildfire grew impatient, and from between her strikes he snuck in a single blow to the chest, laced with a snarling whirl of flame. The strike connected, but the flames dissipated almost immediately on contact, and for his actions he was met with a swift slash in retaliation. When he dived backward to retreat, he noticed that his arm was no longer attached.

“You...little shit…” He snarled, his rage fueled even further by the loss.

At the same time Kalena felt the pressure on her limbs fade, and almost collapsed as all feeling began to return to her. The laughter, too, faded, but with it etched a warning.

Live, it told her, death would seem sweet to you now, but what fun is a toy easily broken?

She gritted her teeth,. Why? Why did it feel she was being toyed with? Was the present not grievous enough, that it had to be compounded by the feeling of helplessness, by the control of another whose identity she had not even the slightest clue of? It was frustrating, and vexing all at the same time, and even more so when she realised she had no chance; if it were not her, then the same presence would do it for her.

Her vision seemed to blur at that, and she furiously wiped her eyes. She had to fight.That was all she could concern herself with. Fight, and survive.

“Adelaide, please,” she murmured, clutching the sword of truth ever tighter, In return she felt a faint feeling of reassurance, as if Adelaide’s form was beside Kalena, giving her master all the support she had.

Her eyes drifted to her opponent. Wildfire was no longer in a mood to gloat and jeer. His eyes, so seemingly condescending before now shoned with a burning hatred and fury. And then he moved. A dash on inhuman speed that brought him close within mere seconds. But sKalena reacted just as quick, striking her blade down into the ground and swinging forward, beckoning a wave of spikes that intercepted his path. He barely managed to step away, but that moment of inattention gave Kalena the chance to step forward for a thrust, catching him in the upper torso.

For a moment it seemed as though he was stopped, but he only pulled himself away from the blade, following up with a punch to the forehead. She knocked it aside with her free hand, only to be struck squarely in the chest by a blow with his leg. Her ribs groaned in protest, but she held on, breathing deeply to tolerate the intense pain.

“Split!” She shouted, stabbing the ground in half desperation. At once a swath of earthen spikes beset upon her opponent, driving dirt and grass from their resting place. The displaced earth from the spikes grew and washed over the vicinity akin to a crashing wave of stone and dirt. Her mind strained as she struggled with the vast amount of control she exerted, and it took all her willpower and concentration to persist.

There was a final crash as the spikes stopped as they faded in strength, and only then was she able to bring her attention to her surroundings once more. Wildfire seemed to have disappeared from sight, leaving only the slight flicker of flames behind. She felt a wave of dread pass by her, but by the time she turned her head it was too late. A drop kick to the back sent her flying forward, crashing into the earth and almost skewering herself onto the same spikes she had created.

“Such a showy move, and that’s all you have to show for it?’ Wildfire shouted, glowering at her figure with distaste. Holes appeared in the great coat where he had been pierced, and vaguely she could see the flames that encircled the top of his torso. Had the earth...not done enough damage?

He dashed toward her, yet Kalena managed to scramble to her feet just enough to deflect his fist with her arm. She retaliated with sweep at the legs,cutting him from further attack. Furious, he conjured a flame that whipped at her, and when she dived away to dodge, he took the opportunity to swing at her.
But seemingly against all odds, Kalena had already recovered to a crouch, and when he bore over her it took the swing of an arm to carve his shoulder up, removing his other arm from his body.

There came the briefest moments of hesitation as Wildfire struggled to process what had happened. Why? he was faster than her, his power strengthened by the raging inferno that had sprung from his attacks.

The inferno…

It dawned upon him, in the minute moments of a second, that the air was no longer as heated as before, that he no longer bore the inhuman speed and strength earlier. In his pursuit of bloodlust he’d failed to realise that the faint crackling of flames around them was no longer audible.

“...YOU!”

He roared, furious at the trickery, but it did little to cow the swordswoman. She pulled back her arm for a swing across the neck, only barely missing as he retreated backward.

“Distracting me with that magic show?” He bellowed, summoning a writhing column of flames in place of his arms, ‘your efforts are useless! Just try to kill me, you hypocrite!”

He lunged at her, Sweepin
ErrorBlender
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Jul 31, 2014 6:58 PM #1225043
This was an epic battle. All I can say. I really have a hard time trying to decide who to vote for. So for now, I'll just give the CnC and return later, when I've slept on it, to whom I vote for because sleeping on it is better.

Lobotomizer CnC
cnc (Click to Show)


The Strongest CnC:
cnc (Click to Show)


Maybe others will find things that I can't see. :D

I'll vote later on.
SJCRPV
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Aug 1, 2014 2:37 AM #1225219
My vote goes to Lobotomizer.

I liked both versions of the battle, but, much like ErrorBlender, I can't detect much wrong with them, but I would like to point out a couple of things that ended up deciding my vote.

We'll start with Lobo:
Lobo (Click to Show)



Now for The Strongest:
Strong (Click to Show)
The Strongest
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Aug 1, 2014 4:20 AM #1225269
Words I Wish I'd Thought of While Writing (Click to Show)


I'm really glad that we apparently think along the same wavelengths, even down to the "I'm not going to kill you. I have to break you first." thought process. Although since I didn't write in the finals (DAMN YOU, ERRORBLENDER!and me, who failed to beat him) I wasn't quite as sure about what was going on in that cathedral. But that inspired my setting as well (originally I'd planned to just put them back in the same cathedral, but then I realized the earlier point about not knowing anything about that, and I wasn't confident that I could convincingly write enough fuel into the scenario. In hindsight...big wooden beams. Probably would have been fine, fuel-wise).

Some mistakes that another editing sweep might have caught (sKalena sent my thoughts spinning with a character named Skalena. Probably somehow tied to scalene triangles.)

I'm not a great fan of wounds. I think they take away from the potential for spectacle. Tenacity has a lot less spectacle to it than a fully-powered offensive. I liked your fight, but less so the handicap that the wounds put on Kalena.
GuardianTempest
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Aug 1, 2014 4:22 AM #1225270
It's a landslide, Lobster wins. I think it's the formatting that clinches it to his favor, followed by the writing style that saturates almost everything in narration/description.

I envy your writing style.
blakphoenix
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Aug 2, 2014 12:17 AM #1225661
My vote is to Lobobo-bo bo-bobo. His piece was more interesting simply because it was more than just a battle. I understand this is a writer battleground, but I feel that a story will win over a scene any day. I noticed you both had endings to your battles that seemed a bit too subtly hinted at. I mean, being subtle is a fine art but being subtly subtle is an art in finding and one that most readers don't want to partake in.

Lobo you made a few amateur mistakes that can be glossed over, such as the repetition of words or phrases, but if it wasn't easy to make it wouldn't be an amateur mistake would it skalena? (Honestly the "S" key is nowhere near the "K" key, how did you even? xD)

The Strongest over here just needs to make his next entry one with a decent story to add fuel to the searing intensity of his battles as Deul Bul. (That name is fun to say with a french accent. honhonhon oui oui bagette.)

These fights were on the levels expected of both of you which leaves me satisfied. Keep up the good work so that we may inspire the lesser talented to cultivate their skills too. ^_^
ErrorBlender
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Aug 2, 2014 1:34 AM #1225681
Quote from The Strongest
Although since I didn't write in the finals (DAMN YOU, ERRORBLENDER!and me, who failed to beat him)


To be honest, I thought you'd have won that fight.

Anyways, yeah. Gonna go with Lobo's piece too. It took me two days to think... or just procrastination.