This is a true story, happened last night.

I sit in an office chair when I'm animating or gaming, but for watching videos, I use my lawn recliner seat thing. It looks like this:


At the time, the seat was all the way back, I was wearing headphones, and I was re-watching FullMetal Alchemist. I was watching it at about 1:00 this morning.
I was minding my own business, when a stupid cockroach went onto my desk. I tried to flick it away, because it's way too hard to get out of my seat with my feet below the desk. Well, it started climbing on me. At the EXACT moment it started to climb on me, that's when I started flying. My legs bent and I got out of my seat in under a second. I'm 5'2, and my roof is 61/2 feet high. I thought the cockroach was on me (it was actually in my room) and trying to get what I thought the cockroach was off, my HEAD touched the roof. After a couple of seconds, I got my phone, turned the flash light on, and I went into my room with a shoe. I found it, and the flash light turned off because I hit the "Home" key. I turned the flash light back on, AND IT DISAPPEARED. Well, I could tell you, I was hiding under the covers for the rest of the night.

I, someone who doesn't flinch on the sight of mass-blood, not afraid of spiders, not afraid of dying, not afraid of tsunamis or anything that can mass-kill anyone, AM afraid of cockroaches..

Why can't cockroaches be mini-fluffy dogs? :(

Awesome. Can you teeach me?

What the fuck, I'm a cockroach and I find this very offensive.

Quote from Pox

Awesome. Can you teeach me?

Yes...
*Throws giant cockroach on your face*}
...

lol I feel you bro, I also hate the sight of cockroaches.

Great story, and I thought you meant flying a plane or something .-.

Umm, jumpscare I guess? It's a cockroach..

shut up ares nobody asks you

calixer teach me senpai

Quote from Sadko

shut up ares nobody asks you

calixer teach me senpai

onegai calixer sensei ore wa oshiero yo

lern2weeb

Quote from _Ai_

onegai calixer sensei ore wa oshiero yo

lern2weeb

this made me cringe so hard my head almost hit the ceiling too

Quote from Jombo

Calixer先輩、教えてください！ｍ(_ _)ｍ
lern2hyperweeb

jombo bby! tech me how to hyperweeb pls

Quote from Sadko

shut up ares nobody asks you

calixer teach me senpai

I'll teach you. 1v1 me 1st bro.
yeah shut up ares nobody asks you

Quote from _Ai_

onegai calixer sensei ore wa oshiero yo

lern2weeb

yeah u2gangster4me yo yo yo

Quote from Exilement

this made me cringe so hard my head almost hit the ceiling too

Lol. If you learn 2weeb then you wont cringe sempai, so onegai learn 2weeb



I saw the cockroach again today, and I took about 4 pics of it. Here it is:

Quote from Calixer

I saw the cockroach again today, and I took about 4 pics of it. Here it is:

Cockroach pics (Click to Show)

Now that's what you called a fancy, yet furry cockroach. Uh ._."
And are there four? There's only one in your spoiler over there.

Talking about cockroaches I was once sleeping with a dead one. Didn't realize it was beside my face during that night until I woke up.
Luckily my brain was still too heavy to process everything for a few seconds earlier, until I opened my eyes wide. Can't imagine how shocked I was lol.

Quote from Mustika

Now that's what you called a fancy, yet furry cockroach. Uh ._."
And are there four? There's only one in your spoiler over there.

Talking about cockroaches I was once sleeping with a dead one. Didn't realize it was beside my face during that night until I woke up.
Luckily my brain was still too heavy to process everything for a few seconds earlier, until I opened my eyes wide. Can't imagine how shocked I was lol.

Did you fly when you saw the cockroach? Also, I used to be very poor and a cockroach bit my eye. It hurt and looked bad.

Also, I said there were 4 pictures but there was 1 because I was joking.
Here's the equation to the joke:

I said 4, because 3 1's make a triangle, and a triangle has 4 sides. 4x4 = 16, and a circle has 16 sides. 16 divided by 0 = 0 and 0 + 1 = 1 so that's how I got to 1 picture.

Here's another joke:
- Why can't you trust atoms?
A: To get to the other side! HAHAHA
-because the make up everything-


EDIT:

Quote from Omniverse

Dude, teach us

bro you're a bird you can fly without roaches
because you have a beak, and your beak allows you to fly

If only I could say that I did learn my flying ability through that pitiful experience, but ironically my entire body was too lazy to do so. Thus, I only picked its antenna part and threw that poor thing away from my bed. Then I washed my hand with soap and also my face afterwards. Such a simple life, I know lol.

I can say that I'm not that afraid if I have to deal with them, as long as I have this broom or sandal with me.

Extra tips: Don't spray it with one of those bug sprayers that's claimed to kill it instantly. Believe me, you're not going to like the result, if not regret it.
That sprayer is pretty much effective to kill the cockroach in the other side - from my experience - in before it'd fly to your face first and possibly spread the virus of doom o_o