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Derrick Ozer (Dozer)

Started by: Urako | Replies: 51 | Views: 9,081

Urako

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Feb 18, 2015 7:17 PM #1311196
Name:
Derrick Ozer (Dozer)
Alignment:Neutral Good
Abilities (Click to Show)


Equipment (Click to Show)

Spoiler (Click to Show)
top of its normal functions this particular one is waterproof, comes with a camera, and has every hospital imaginable on speed dial.
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Spoiler (Click to Show)
ng style, but instead, likes to improvise his own fighting style often integrating the best parts of others into it. This can be very erratic and often unpredictable. And although he switches fighting styles, his favorite method of attack is to chain kinetic charge hits together using the weaker ones to stun his opponent long enough to create the stronger ones. If his opponent allows this to happen, then he/she/it will quickly be on the ground or in the air from a red charge.
[/Spoiler]

Spoiler (Click to Show)
aff, but he is much weaker.
2# Without kinetic charges, he doesn't pack much of a punch.
3# Kinetic charges take a while to recharge and must recharge after each time they're used.
4# Electricity will temporarily disable the kinetic charges.
5# By far his biggest weakness, he obsessively avoids killing innocent people. If you put someone in harm's way, he has to risk his life to save them.
6# Refrains from killing good or neutral aligned characters to the extent where he won't leave them to die from the environment either. To put things in perspective, his opponent has to do a lot of very bad things prior to the match or intentionally endanger bystanders before he is willing to use lethal force.
7# His cell phone is a normal cell phone with no special attributes or protection other than being waterproof. It is easily susceptible to damage and fires easily with electricity.
8# Even if putting others in danger for him didn't go against everything he stood for he still can't call for reinforcements. The fight would be over long before anyone ever responded.

Note: Weaknesses 5# and 6# only apply to sentient beings.
Note: He's not an idiot. He knows people fight in scheduled matches and he usually leaves those alone unless one of the people is someone he knows, someone who was attacked, someone who is being coerced, or the match is clearly unfair.
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Story (Click to Show)

RHG (Click to Show)

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NPCs (Click to Show)

Dozer’s unknown friend (Click to Show)

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Spoiler (Click to Show)
up for what is right. He's usually not serious unless in a difficult fight, but even then, sometimes he'll crack a joke. And above all else, he promised never to cause the same suffering as people like Decks causes. He is by no means a murderer. In fact, he only joined to find and save his sister. However, he still enjoys a good sparring match between friends every now and then.
[/Spoiler]

Spoiler (Click to Show)
but he has his exceptions. Essentially, he will not kill or let harm come to good or neutral characters, but he is willing to kill evil aligned characters and non-sentient beings if only so that they won't hurt anyone else. Depending on how evil, he may still try not to, but he will feel no obligation against it. He is also quite tactical, so he might trick his opponent. That said, he will always keep his promises and will never betray anyone.
[/Spoiler]

Appearance (Click to Show)

Spoiler (Click to Show)
xtending staff with hollow tips on either side. When a charge is create, there is a thin line running through the hollow part. When a charge is actively being used, there is a bubble like affect. Both the line and bubble are colors that vary depending on the charge power. They are Green, blue, purple, and red.
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Demo (Click to Show)


Spoiler (Click to Show)
on a dark rainy day. The chilly winds crept across the highway. Lightning flashed, the sudden blaze of light causing Derrick's eyes to squint. And as it flashed a second time, he saw a guy in the middle of the road. He panicked and veered to the right crashing into a tree. Hazily, he started to climb out. But he saw the guy again. The guys's eyes were glowing bright yellow. Instantly, he succumbed to unconsciousness.
He woke up on a pillar floating in the middle of nowhere he saw nothing else but an eerie grey backdrop. It frightened him. "Where am I?" At once, there was a reply. "You're in your mind." Dozer turned towards the source of the sound and anxiously pulled out his kinetic staff. The guy continued. "And I'm about to make your worst nightmares a reality." Recall laughed, formed two daggers out of darkness, and charged at him. However, he blocked the first right swing with his staff and countered by hitting him with an uppercut with a green charge. He then ran forwards, but Recall jumped off of his staff, backflipped, and threw his daggers at Dozer. As soon as he dodged them, his opponent had already formed two more daggers, ran at him, and attacked again. Dozer sidestepped and tried to strike him again, but this time, recall blocked and stabbed him in the abdomen. Immediately, everything started to blacken like a cloud of darkness around him. It was excruciatingly painful. With great effort, removed the knife and forced himself up with his staff.
The cloud dissipated and he found himself in Rock Hard City. Only it was burning, it still has a dark grey backdrop, and people with glowing yellow eyes limped toward him saying "Help me." One grabbed him and they all started to attack him. Derrick fired a green charge and started running. With a shaky voice he said "W-Why did this have to happen to me?" He cleared a path with a blue charge and ran onto another street. There, he saw Decks trapping Rachel and shooting his past self all over again. Dozer was infuriated, but there was no denying it any longer. He was scared out of his mind. He knew it was fake, but it all felt so real to him. They turned toward Dozer. Dozer turned around to run, but saw more people. He poll-vaulted over one, followed by an explosive purple charge he had been saving. Finally, he dashed into a nearby alleyway, saw a door, and opened it. He closed it behind him, locked it, and sat down.
The room he was in was a simplistic room with a couch, and table, an a working station which happened to have a computer. Dozer didn't care too much for these details though. All he needed was a place to calm down and he knew he would need to calm down if he was going to get out of this alive. "It's not real. It's not real, It's. Not. Real." The computer across the room flickered on and he saw the same message from Decks "You want her? Come and get her." Then people started to bang against the door. "So much for a safe place." Dozer charged both ends of his staff and shot one purple charge blowing up the door. The other end, he was going to charge up further and save for later. At once, people came pouring in. Mustering up all the courage he can find, he defeated them with several staff uppercuts, and started heading further down the alley.

Meanwhile, in the real world, Recall finally managed to get Dozer out of the car and picked him up to strangle him.

Back in Dozer's mind, Dozer felt a sudden loss of breath. He started to panic, but forced himself to calm down again. He inhaled as deeply as he could muster, and kept going forward. He arrived at another road where he saw Recall. He became determined he would make it out of this deathtrap. "You finally found me, but you're too late. Get him." At Recall's command, black ooze came out of the ground to form more people and Recall generated two more knives. Dozer fought his way past three enemies with a sweeping strike and a blue charge, poll-vaulted over another, and landed in front of Recall. From there, he hit his enemy with a combo attack and blocked yet another attack from Recall. An enemy attacked dozer from behind, but he dodged and countered with a sweeping blue charge strike. He jumped over Recall and hit him from behind. Recall turned around to attack, but he finished his combo and impaled Recall with his staff. He then fired off a long since saved up red charge. "NNOOO!!!" Recalls's guts splattered out behind him and he started to fade. The world turned white and Dozer found himself back in the real world being strangled. Dozer easily broke free and kicked the real life Recall into an oncoming semi-truck. Dozer wins![/Spoiler]
[/Spoiler]

Battles:
Vs. Electroid (Spyrix). Link. Won!
Vs. Rogue (RuDe). Link. Won!
Vs. Gamma (Vern). Link. Lost.
Vs. Lost (PitchEnder). Link. Won!
Vs. Serif (Crank). Link. Spar.
Vs. Riley Sanders (IgnusBurns). Link. Forfeit.
Vs. David Macbeth (Alphaeus). Link. Spar (Though I did win in the polls).
If you want to fight, give me some sort of link to your RHG.

Availability: No. School.

Hitlist:
Ask to be put on the hitlist. Bold means i'm coming for you next.
Hitlist (Click to Show)


Relations:
[Spoiler=Relations]
[Spoiler=Relation table]
Idolized
Best friend
Friend
Ally
Neutral
Pitied
Disliked
[C
RichardLongflop
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Feb 18, 2015 7:43 PM #1311212
Damn. I like this guy already. Only gripe is the first ability, the enhanced reflexes and stuff. You could say in the story that, before going out to RHG, he had trained with the staff rigorously. That'd back that power up. Nobody automatically has super-reflexes after a car crash.

But yeah, I love him. Simple yet has a ton of potential, and the staff seems like it could be a very useful tool indeed.
Urako

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Feb 18, 2015 7:54 PM #1311220
Quote from WafflesMgee
Damn. I like this guy already. Only gripe is the first ability, the enhanced reflexes and stuff. You could say in the story that, before going out to RHG, he had trained with the staff rigorously. That'd back that power up. Nobody automatically has super-reflexes after a car crash.

But yeah, I love him. Simple yet has a ton of potential, and the staff seems like it could be a very useful tool indeed.


The story said he trained for 2 years. 1 Year without the staff, and 1 year after he got the staff. That's why he has the above average reflexes, endurance, and intelligence. But even then, it's just above average. Anyways, just thought you might want an explanation.

Thanks for the feedback.
RichardLongflop
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Feb 18, 2015 8:09 PM #1311227
Quote from Urako
The story said he trained for 2 years. 1 Year without the staff, and 1 year after he got the staff. That's why he has the above average reflexes, endurance, and intelligence. But even then, it's just above average. Anyways, just thought you might want an explanation.

Thanks for the feedback.


Oh whoops, skipped that sentence. Probably why I missed the "year withe the", might want to fix that.
Urako

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Feb 18, 2015 8:11 PM #1311230
Quote from WafflesMgee
Oh whoops, skipped that sentence. Probably why I missed the "year withe the", might want to fix that.


I hate typos. I fixed it.
Malacal
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Feb 18, 2015 8:32 PM #1311239
It's a miracle. This is the first time I've seen a new RHG made and them not be... horrifyingly made.
So, congratulations on not making a shitty character (a very lukewarm compliment, I know).

But, your format still has the problems some others do. The more detail you give about a power and the less separated it is, the cleaner and more professional your page looks. So what I'm saying is, condense your abilities and weaknesses a bit. Also, the levels of power of your staff should be put under your staff abilities.

For Example:
True Sadness: Angston grows more in power the sadder he gets, it just so happens he has alot to cry about. Eventually he reaches an inhuman level where he gets green-lantern like powers, but this also acts as an emotional release and weakens him the more he uses it.

Also, please don't add True Sadness to your character's abilities. :P
But umm, does that make sense?
RichardLongflop
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Feb 18, 2015 8:32 PM #1311240
Also, do the charges create light? And I might tussle with you in future, throw me on that list.
Urako

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Feb 18, 2015 8:46 PM #1311252
Quote from WafflesMgee
Also, do the charges create light? And I might tussle with you in future, throw me on that list.


I think it would create light, but only a little. You have been added.

You should also know that i can't animate.

Quote from Malacal
It's a miracle. This is the first time I've seen a new RHG made and them not be... horrifyingly made.
So, congratulations on not making a shitty character (a very lukewarm compliment, I know).

But, your format still has the problems some others do. The more detail you give about a power and the less separated it is, the cleaner and more professional your page looks. So what I'm saying is, condense your abilities and weaknesses a bit. Also, the levels of power of your staff should be put under your staff abilities.

For Example:
True Sadness: Angston grows more in power the sadder he gets, it just so happens he has alot to cry about. Eventually he reaches an inhuman level where he gets green-lantern like powers, but this also acts as an emotional release and weakens him the more he uses it.

Also, please don't add True Sadness to your character's abilities. :P
But umm, does that make sense?


I am i bit of an amateur. I'll see what i can do to improve it. I don't know how to do any condensing with this character, but it'll fix the kinetic charges.

:rolleyes:As the the new power, nice pitch, but Dozer's the kind of guy who does something about his problems.:rolleyes: (Yes i know it's a joke.)
RichardLongflop
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Feb 18, 2015 8:56 PM #1311257
Why did you mention that you can't animate? Did you accidentally click on my RHG instead of my wRHG?
DelorMaximus
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Feb 18, 2015 8:56 PM #1311258
Just dropping by C:

All and all it is a very balanced character. It doesn't have any glaring OP stats but he is not basic either. The kinetic staff adds some tasty spices into the mix, so overall it has a lot of potential.

Unfortunately I was a bit disappointed at the demo. Whilst giving the quick read I honestly thought that this was a miracle (as Malacal earlier mentioned) and that this was a truly perfect 1st drop. But when I opened the demo, I got brought with my feet on the ground quite violently. Not that the content is bad or anything, because it is not. It just lacks development. Try expanding your sentences, express feelings and thoughts that the characters have, describe the details of the environment and what reactions it might trigger into the characters.
In other words, don't write a movie script, but a story.

On a side note I am available if you have any questions or if you just want some tips (and tricks ;) ).
Cheers,
Alex
Urako

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Feb 18, 2015 8:56 PM #1311259
Quote from WafflesMgee
Why did you mention that you can't animate? Did you accidentally click on my RHG instead of my wRHG?


Yeah pretty much.

Quote from DelorMaximus
Just dropping by C:

All and all it is a very balanced character. It doesn't have any glaring OP stats but he is not basic either. The kinetic staff adds some tasty spices into the mix, so overall it has a lot of potential.

Unfortunately I was a bit disappointed at the demo. Whilst giving the quick read I honestly thought that this was a miracle (as Malacal earlier mentioned) and that this was a truly perfect 1st drop. But when I opened the demo, I got brought with my feet on the ground quite violently. Not that the content is bad or anything, because it is not. It just lacks development. Try expanding your sentences, express feelings and thoughts that the characters have, describe the details of the environment and what reactions it might trigger into the characters.
In other words, don't write a movie script, but a story.

On a side note I am available if you have any questions or if you just want some tips (and tricks ;) ).
Cheers,
Alex


Thanks for the advice. I'll be sure to try to do better next time. Anything else?
RichardLongflop
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Feb 18, 2015 8:58 PM #1311262
I think you should edit your posts instead of double-posting, mate.
Urako

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Feb 18, 2015 9:01 PM #1311263
Quote from WafflesMgee
I think you should edit your posts instead of double-posting, mate.


Yeah, i don't really know to much about editing posts. (This is embarrassing.)
RichardLongflop
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Feb 18, 2015 9:22 PM #1311270
Quote from Urako
Yeah, i don't really know to much about editing posts. (This is embarrassing.)


Image

Also, reading through the rest of your guy.

Demo thoughts (Click to Show)



I see you attempted to go for some heavy action here, but it's all compressed and shoved together, causing the name repetition problems among other things. You'll get better with practice and CC though. Also, I liked the end. How's THAT for Being Human weaknesses, Recall?
Urako

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Feb 18, 2015 9:46 PM #1311280
Quote from WafflesMgee
Image

Also, reading through the rest of your guy.

Demo thoughts (Click to Show)



I see you attempted to go for some heavy action here, but it's all compressed and shoved together, causing the name repetition problems among other things. You'll get better with practice and CC though. Also, I liked the end. How's THAT for Being Human weaknesses, Recall?


I feel really bad. I'm going to need a lot of practice before a real fight.

And your character's much scarier than Recall.
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