Stick Page Forums Archive

wRHG: Zachary Miles

Started by: WhiteWood | Replies: 7 | Views: 1,927

WhiteWood
2

Posts: 57
Joined: Feb 2012
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jul 2, 2015 6:27 PM #1378402
So, this is an old wRHG character from FluidAnims back when I was in high school. I've decided to spend my breaks from writing episodes for 'The Forgotten Legion' and spend my time polishing my writing and this seems like a good way to do so. I do not have the time to create a new character from scratch so I have just re-purposed this old one. All of the writing in these categories is old and only the Demo is new and rewritten, so only use the demo as a reference to my writing ability (and please forgive me for the demo being over 500 words, I got a little carried away). Thank you for your consideration and your possible challenge. I'll accept any challenge thrown at me (because currently it seems everyone on here is unavailable so I'll take what I can get).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edits = Red

Name: Zachary "Zach" Miles
(You would pronounce his name with a strong 'CH' sound, such as in 'Cheese')

Abilities (Click to Show)


Weaknesses (Click to Show)


Story (Click to Show)


About (Click to Show)


Personality (Click to Show)


Appearance (Click to Show)


Demo (Click to Show)


Battles:
1st Battle - SJCRPV (Sebastian) vs. WhiteWood (Zachary Miles) (Win)

Points: 1/0/0/0

Availability: Available
PitchEnder
2

Posts: 1,008
Joined: May 2015
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jul 2, 2015 7:36 PM #1378429
This character is cool. I give it 10 blood eating swords out of 10
RichardLongflop
2

Posts: 1,265
Joined: Oct 2012
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jul 3, 2015 10:39 AM #1378687
If you ever want help making a new character I'm a very charactery chap. I've helped plenty out with theirs.

Honestly, reading the abilities, and the fact that it's a high school OC, I'd figure maybe you'd best invest time into a new character. If you're interested in the idea just send me a PM or a skype add.
WhiteWood
2

Posts: 57
Joined: Feb 2012
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jul 3, 2015 10:08 PM #1378835
I would like to know what you do not like about his abilities or about this character in general. I will admit that he leans more on the deviantart OC side, but he's still a character that I can mold because of the personality I gave him, so criticism would be nice so I may know what needs molding.
Malacal
2

Posts: 418
Joined: Jul 2013
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jul 6, 2015 4:09 AM #1379848
Waffles is the guy that demands everyone create an absolute work of art with everything they do. You can't have this man approve your character 100% unless you go to a writing boot camp and design a character over the course of a year.

Also, what he means about your character being less than satisfactory is... how high-school it is. Trust me, I know high school :P
This is mostly from his edgy/cool personality, casual immortality, being the chosen one, and his sword coming from Hell.

Also, you say he becomes a total demon when he uses "Rage" (maybe the new name should be edginess, where he becomes so edgy people can't help but worship his coolness and swag :P) and that being a total demon is his opposite, but from all things said here, he does not look like a good guy. Heck, he seems to barely qualify as an antihero from the looks of things and more a anti-villain. You don't exactly make a deal with the devil and be considered a saint.

Also, your Rage ability mentions nothing of ignoring pain in it's description.
RichardLongflop
2

Posts: 1,265
Joined: Oct 2012
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jul 6, 2015 4:46 AM #1379856
I don't ask for perfection.

I ask for a character everyone can enjoy. Reading is 50% words and 50% the reader's imagination, and when it comes to characters, you want to have someone that you can keep coming back to write more about, someone that any possible foe would like to write about, and someone the readers would like to read about.

What needs molding is that. How can you convince people that a deviant art-level OC, with a pseudo rage-mode demon form and a super duper unique sword (that literally sucked in the god of the underworld himself), would be fun to read and write? It's not just you dealing with your character. If you were, this'd be in OLit. And if this were RHG you'd stand out like a blade of grass in a field.

You found your high school OC cool because it was only you who dealt with him. Here, you need to appeal to others too, so that cool factor's dropped. This is why I suggested to make a new character, or at least take this guy down to the foundations and revamp him so much that he becomes original and un-edgy.
Chromium7

Posts: 686
Joined: Nov 2012
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jul 9, 2015 3:06 PM #1380946
I don't ask for perfection either.

I ask for a character I'd enjoy writing. And I enjoyed writing this character. I recall fighting Zach back on FA back when my wRHG was a guy named Maxim. Granted, I don't have the story on file, so naturally this might not have been how it actually went down, but from what I recall, the fight took place in an abandoned warehouse and at one point or another involved Zach losing himself to Incruentus.

Facing an opponent who has lost all restraint and lashes out with an unearthly power as a result was a worthwhile experience, and while perhaps WafflesMgee wouldn't delve into anything near what could be described as cliche, the fact that someone walked in with what's being dubbed as (if not portrayed as such) 'edgy' or 'cool' gave me- and now may give to others- a chance to quite literally fight the cliche or one-up it in their own style in their own stories. And on the other end of the spectrum, WhiteWood gets to do the same.

So Waffles, if this character or any others is too cliche for your tastes, feel free to make that known. But your tastes are usually pretty refined. Mine are a bit more simplistic.

I didn't get perfection, sure, but I wasn't asking for it. I didn't get a story free of rage-mode or demon swords, but I never said I wanted one. I have no qualms with the content of the story at first glance, and I think it's nice to see an old face. Cheers.
Malacal
2

Posts: 418
Joined: Jul 2013
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jul 17, 2015 7:05 PM #1384109
So, quick question, what makes Incruentus choose it's master?
Website Version: 1.0.4
© 2025 Max Games. All rights reserved.