wRHG: Catena vs. Omega

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Malacal
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Jul 16, 2015 6:54 PM #1383735
Hello everybody! And welcome to Game Theory the wRHG. Where we take characters and have them beat each other senseless for no reason like dog fights. But it's fiction, so it's okay!
In one corner we have Deam Catena, the Goddess of the Chains.
In the other corner, we have Omega, the Usurper King. He also has a horrible god complex.
Hey wait a second... it's a Battle of the Gods.

And since we're doing hyperlinks galore, I should probably link you to what you came here for.

Chaotic Penguins's Story

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Malacal's Story

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meant for construction. There were enormous tin containers full of cement and metal beams that would’ve supported a ceiling. But, this factory was peculiar in how it seemed untouched. Nothing moved, there were no people or animals, and the only lighting was what crept through the windows. What was most odd though, was the fact that this place seemed undisturbed by time also and perfectly clean.
The girl sat there in deep thought, staring intently at nothing but space. She contemplated her father’s business, her recent joining of the wRHG, and her quite sudden rise to fame despite the lack of combat activity on her end. She thought of her dreams and failures, sitting pleasantly in her own little world of thought.
Eventually, the girl’s concentration was broken as something peculiar happened, a noise. It was faint clang of metal against metal, but she had been in such utter silence and accompanied by only her thoughts for so long that she couldn’t help but jolt a little once it happened.
She looked around, but did not know where to set her gaze. Her eyes frisked around until they caught a glimpse of some strange movement. It was black and looked similarly to an oversized spider walking on the ceiling. It was revealed, though, to most definitely not be a spider, it had twelve limbs. She immediately got to her feet and more closely analyze the strange creature. “What are you?” she asked.
The thing slowly descended from it’s lofty heights. It was humanoid in shape and oddly tall despite it’s ridiculously thin frame. Along with the frame, it had an oddly disproportionate upper body with broad shoulders and eight metal tentacles on it’s back. More obviously, it had metal skin from head to toe. Though, the most alien and creepy thing was the voice that greeted her. It was hollow and deep, as if brought about by metal lungs, “Greetings… what was your name again?”
“The name is Deam Catena, asshole,” Catena spoke as she slowly gathered almost invisibly thin and small chains around her hand. She then had them inch their way towards Omega’s left hand, already preparing to ensnare the odd alien before her before a fight could break out. As she did this, she decided to detract the creature’s attention from her attack with more idle speech, “and who might you be?”
“I thought you’d never ask! I’m Omega, the god, the usurper, the conqueror, whichever title of my many you chose to refer to me as,” Omega placed his right hand over his heart, which- luckily for Catena- was not the one being captured.
“Also, Damn Katrina, your name is not important. What is however…” Omega continued his mocking as he leaned in slightly as though speaking to a child, “is your presence here. Only annoying individuals with cameras, microphones, and vans with news channel logos on them have visited recently. Yet here you are, all alone.”
Recent events that Catena had read about flooded her mind, first the factory becoming deserted, then the news crews disappearances upon investigation, and now this thing before her. There was no doubt in her mind that the alien greeting her was behind all of this, but there’s no way it could be murder, there’s no blood anywhere. This naturally led to the girl interrogating Omega, “What did you do with the others?”
Omega’s lips widened into a sadistic grin before answering, “Why, I killed them, of course.”
Catena once again found herself analysing the room, “But there’s no blood anywhere, how did you…” Lost in thought and unknowing of what to say, the girl’s voice trailed off.
After a few pauses of Catena trying to discern what the heck is going on, Omega decided to teach her something, “Recently I encountered a man who could manipulate blood. I can too, but during the fight I often found myself wondering if he could manipulate blood inside someone else. Turns out he couldn’t, but it did spark my interest and I began testing to see if I could, and this is what I learned…”
Omega’s hand reach towards Catena’s chest, his palm clearly aiming to be placed upon her heart. This time Omega reached with his left hand, and found himself on a leash of innumerable and almost invisible thread-like chains. Seeing that he was stuck, he took the most obvious route and tried to muscle through and break them. While occupied with this, the floor of the factory bent and bowed before then letting much thicker chains sprout forth. These chains grabbed and lifted the alien by his leg before then tossing him into the wall next to the entrance. He proceeded to bounce off the wall and fall face first into the floor just as quickly as he’d hit the factory barrier, leaving an octopus-shaped dent.
“Insolent child. Your attempts at attacking me are pitiful at best. If you seek to damage a god then you must be a god,” Omega spoke as he stood, clearly unfazed by his recent flight. He then held witness to his adversary’s next move. The floor once again had a hole poked through it as chains gathered together and were donned on their summoner. The end result looked much as a classic set of chain mail armor.
“Chain mail isn’t the best armor for protection against piercing, child,” Omega threw in a remark as he shot a tentacle at the girl. Moments before it hit her, the armor extended outward and caught the tentacle, enveloping it. Omega tried to retrieve his limb but found it didn’t respond to his command.
This effective, although unintentional, result led to Catena having an incredible idea. She summoned more chains from the exposed earth in front of her and then sent them out, seeking to ensnare her opponent’s limbs. Omega, instead of standing around like an idiot, jumped upwards and gripped ahold of a support beam high above. The chains gave chase as the conqueror ascended. He quickly found the end of his rope, his tentacles could only extend so far.. A mere eight meters away from Catena, he found that the chains could still easily reach and attack. They almost seemed infinite in nature. Omega was not a fan of being chained though, so he bit the bullet and ripped himself free of his limb, leaving it behind twitching and convulsing. He then pulled himself along into the distant darkness.
The girl sat there, disgusted at the unsightly thing before her. She’d seen many things before as a celebrity known for combat, but never a limb bleeding and slowly dying as if begging for liberation from agony.
Meanwhile, the alien king was skulking through the rafters. He had started making his way back towards the young girl by now, albeit slowly and carefully. The last thing he wanted was to make the noise of metal against metal and have it reverberate through the building. Doing such an action versus someone with such a powerful and versatile ability is suicide. He, after a long while of skulking, was just able to see her between the supports.
Catena, on the other hand, was making no attempt to be silent. The metal flooring around her was shredding apart as chains began pouring out of the earth. It was less an exposure and more of a takeover. As soon as the earth was revealed, chains would pour out and hide it’s existence.
All this noise greatly benefited Omega, covering the sound of his steps. He moved far more quickly. He was careless though, his opponent saw him. Unfortunately for Catena, it was already too late. Omega had jumped down and began entangling all of his opponent’s limbs. Wrapping the young girl up in his many appendages. Making sure he kept his footing, he buried two tentacles and spun them downward like screws to keep himself in place.
Catena reacted by grapple in kind, wrapping Omega up in chains. As both of them were trapped, they found themselves exceptionally happy of their defensive abilities. While the girl tried to crush the alien, she found the metal skin difficult to bend and bow. Where the conqueror attempted strangling, he met resistance as the child pushed against his limbs with her chainmail armor.
“Give in. I am immortal, you cannot win,” Omega taunted his opponent, and continued pressing harder, with no avail.
“Heh, how good is your latin? If you haven’t noticed, I am the Goddess of Chains, you’ve met your match,” Catena actually smirked a little as she in turn, gripped tighter on her opponent in this battle of wills.
“Ha! A false deity you are. I have seen other real gods that could destroy planets and I engaged in combat with them. You have merely the tip of the iceberg of true power. You don’t know my full capability!
Urako

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Jul 16, 2015 6:59 PM #1383738
So, is this a spar? If not, there should be a poll.

edit: Spoke too early:p
Malacal
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Jul 16, 2015 7:00 PM #1383740
I forgot to add the poll, granted by the time you see this then the poll will be up
Vern
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Jul 16, 2015 7:01 PM #1383741
Quote from Urako
So, is this a spar? If not, there should be a poll.

edit: Spoke too early:p


Right as I pressed "reply with quote" your edit appeared in my chatter, when all I really wanted to say was that Mal was probably still setting up the pol ;(

Anyways, lemme get right on this, and then I'll return the favor and give ya fellas some CnC, or at least I'll try to ^^
Shadowolf
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Jul 17, 2015 1:57 AM #1383855
Went ahead and voted, and now for some CnC.

Chaotic Penguin:
(First...choose your opponents wisely. This guy is seriously scary for a person with 1(more or less) ability.)

About the story now...
You need to build the suspense, I think. It seemed as if the actions were happening in a business account narrative, not a luscious fight sequence.
Then end, however, was graphic, though still could have used extra descriptions.

Malacal:

You had some punctuation issues (commas where semicolons were needed, etc.) and some compound-complex sentence errors, but nothing too major.

"It was revealed, though, to most definitely not be a spider, it had twelve limbs."
Correction:
"It was revealed, though, to most definitely not be a spider; (actually, a colon might even be better -- ":" ) it had twelve limbs."

All in all...Great job guys
Chaotic Penguin
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Jul 17, 2015 2:08 AM #1383858
(First...choose your opponents wisely. This guy is seriously scary for a person with 1(more or less) ability.)

Would like you to clarify on that. For self improvement and self esteem purposes.

You need to build the suspense, I think. It seemed as if the actions were happening in a business account narrative, not a luscious fight sequence.
Then end, however, was graphic, though still could have used extra descriptions.


Gotcha. I was wondering why it felt so dull, even after the edits.


Also, this is most definitely game theory.
Aric Kale
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Jul 17, 2015 11:56 PM #1384185
Welp, I loved both of your stories, and I also wanna see how quickly Marcus will be thrashed by the both of you. Heheheh.
No, but seriously, if either of y'all want to have a wRHG duel with me, I'm down with that.

I have little to no experience with CnC, so I'll keep it short and just give the both of you one thing to work on.

@Malacar:
Then he lunged the palm into the girl’s lower back, and began welding the armor to her skin.

Honestly, it's not a major issue once or twice, but I noticed it several times. You don't need the comma for this sentence.
An easy way to test if the comma is unnecessary is by reading the sentence without the comma and following word (since, and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet).
Then he lunged the palm into the girl's lower back. Began welding the armor to her skin.
was essentially how you said your sentence was supposed to be read.
Sorry, I didn't mean to make that so long.
I still loved reading your side of the story. I think you used all of your abilities well while only showcasing the major strength: the tentacles.

@Chaotic Penguin: As you may have noticed, I tend to be a bit of a grammar freak.
So when I say I loved reading both of your stories, it really does mean a lot. I will stop reading a story if it is poorly written.

The only thing I really wanna call you out on is the way you did speech.
I appreciate that you gave a key/legend to use beforehand, but I still found it unnecessarily difficult to keep track of thoughts, speech, and who's who.
Fortunately, I was able to figure it out, but I'd suggest possibly using a different font for speech, rather than italicizing both the thoughts of everyone and the speech of one person.

I can't wait to see what the both of y'all do in the future.
Shadowolf
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Jul 18, 2015 6:57 PM #1384411
Quote from Chaotic Penguin
Would like you to clarify on that. For self improvement and self esteem purposes.



Gotcha. I was wondering why it felt so dull, even after the edits.


Also, this is most definitely game theory.



Clarifying on what I said about choosing your fight: You have more or less one ability, while Omega is a steel-skinned, eight-tentacle, self-healing, trans-elementalist. You see, while I perfectly understand that you have a right (and should challenge your char) to fight anyone you choose, abilities match-ups need to be evaluated if you want a good story. In this case, for you to be able to win at all is a stretch of the imagination (to use a quote my chars from other RP's have used -- "Never fight the infinite with the finite."). Thus, even if your story had been absolutely flawless, its plot would have been lacking due to the necessary leap of logic for you to win.
When I created my char (The Shadowolf), PitchEnder bluntly comment that he should not fight me, because his char is made (largely) of metal, and my char has power over metals. Logically, if we WERE to fight, my char would simply melt all of his metal components upon first sight and end the battle in a handful of sentences. Any situation where he wins would be in defiance of the simple Ability match-up of our chars.

Does this help some? I sincerely hope I did not come off as insulting to you or your character/literary creation, but str/wkns comps need to be heavily considered for wRHG and similar RP's.
Malacal
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Jul 19, 2015 2:59 AM #1384459
Lol wut? Shadow, that's why you get creative. Say Pitch's metal is a special alloy he can't control and boom, you have an even match.
Abilities don't matter, this isn't a power game. You don't make the brokenly OP to "win." How you win is if you make a character you're in your zone writing and you write better than the other guy. It ain't about the characters for victory, it's about the writing.
Urako

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Jul 19, 2015 3:15 AM #1384465
Quote from Shadowolf
Clarifying on what I said about choosing your fight: You have more or less one ability, while Omega is a steel-skinned, eight-tentacle, self-healing, trans-elementalist. You see, while I perfectly understand that you have a right (and should challenge your char) to fight anyone you choose, abilities match-ups need to be evaluated if you want a good story. In this case, for you to be able to win at all is a stretch of the imagination (to use a quote my chars from other RP's have used -- "Never fight the infinite with the finite."). Thus, even if your story had been absolutely flawless, its plot would have been lacking due to the necessary leap of logic for you to win.
When I created my char (The Shadowolf), PitchEnder bluntly comment that he should not fight me, because his char is made (largely) of metal, and my char has power over metals. Logically, if we WERE to fight, my char would simply melt all of his metal components upon first sight and end the battle in a handful of sentences. Any situation where he wins would be in defiance of the simple Ability match-up of our chars.

Does this help some? I sincerely hope I did not come off as insulting to you or your character/literary creation, but str/wkns comps need to be heavily considered for wRHG and similar RP's.


Have you seen my character? The first person he fights is an embodiment of two of his major weaknesses. You need to get creative.
Chaotic Penguin
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Jul 19, 2015 3:34 AM #1384470
On another note, I'm getting completely rekt'd! I feel like voting for myself. Pity vote.
MrSkully
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Jul 19, 2015 3:36 AM #1384472
Alright, i voted...

Now i'll TRY to do some CnC...

Chaotic

Well, your story was really straight forward, fight started after like five sentences, where the characters pretty much just exchanged their names and titles. In my opinion, it really lacked the descriptions of characters, environment, and fight itself... Especially on the very beginning, it felt i dunno...stiff? Over time it got slightly better but...yea... the effect was still there
Next time, you should just use more colorful words, to make reading more interesting.


Malacal.

Actually, the only issue i found, was a small amount of commas, and a small spacing between the paragraphs...i think that's it.
Malacal
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Jul 19, 2015 3:47 AM #1384475
Quote from Chaotic Penguin
On another note, I'm getting completely rekt'd! I feel like voting for myself. Pity vote.

Lmao, don't. Dat's against da rules.
Aric Kale
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Jul 19, 2015 3:56 AM #1384477
Quote from Malacal
Lol wut? Shadow, that's why you get creative. Say Pitch's metal is a special alloy he can't control and boom, you have an even match.
Abilities don't matter, this isn't a power game. You don't make the brokenly OP to "win." How you win is if you make a character you're in your zone writing and you write better than the other guy. It ain't about the characters for victory, it's about the writing.


Agreed. Personally, I don't try to make strong characters. I strive to make balanced characters.

I hate Superman because his strengths and weaknesses don't match. I love Batman because he's just the opposite. He has next to no unnatural immunities, and his only strengths are smarts and gadgets. I mean, yeah, he has martial arts, but the man is no god.

AND I WOULD LIKE TO ADD that Batman, the human, can beat the godlike Superman. Via smarts.
Chaotic Penguin
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Jul 19, 2015 4:01 AM #1384479
Last part was unnecessary but I'm totally up for batman.

Quote from MrSkully
Alright, i voted...

Now i'll TRY to do some CnC...

Chaotic

Well, your story was really straight forward, fight started after like five sentences, where the characters pretty much just exchanged their names and titles. In my opinion, it really lacked the descriptions of characters, environment, and fight itself... Especially on the very beginning, it felt i dunno...stiff? Over time it got slightly better but...yea... the effect was still there
Next time, you should just use more colorful words, to make reading more interesting.




Ha, I thought so too. But by the time I was finished I really only wanted to edit the logically odd parts. I would have had to rewrite the entire thing.