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The Dice Eyed Gambler

Started by: buckethead | Replies: 43 | Views: 5,162

PitchEnder
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Oct 19, 2017 4:36 PM #1484816
Quote from buckethead
ok this review in general just made me laugh and yes it did make me think i will be updating some of the things to make them more clear later today. and as for the fog that was originally my idea. aka skull walker v1. see monster mix. as for the fog teleportation. ok i kind of did borrow that


I did read your monster within the Monster Mix thread. There is mention of fog within that page, but there seems to be more detail on it within this page.

Quote from Monster Mix
Fog- the creature can emit fog from the skulls on its legs and can quickly cover an area of about one hundred feet in a thick fog.


It seems like you added the 5 feet of visibility portion of the power which is, indeed, from Dermot's description of The Mist. Your character doesn't seem like it really needs the whole fog thing to begin with. It already has plenty of stuff going on with it, such as the immensely specific ability Cacophony of Voices.

But, on a positive note, it seems like my new wRHG is a direct counter to this one. :canadian:

Edit: It's positive for me... I don't know how you benefit from it.
Vern
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Oct 19, 2017 5:51 PM #1484817
Quote from Kamiroo
@Someone better than me,

Please give this man the review and critique he deserves.


Ok, on it boss.

Opens abilities section

Image

Actual critique (Click to Show)
Cassandra
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Oct 19, 2017 7:11 PM #1484824
Quote from Kamiroo Wolf
@Someone better than me,


Allow me to provide my services, Kamiroo. (I'm not sure if I am better than you; that's up to the other people on the forum. One thing's for sure. I'll do my best. :))

I'll critique things in stages:

Appearance (Click to Show)


Your story is okay to me, so we move on to abilities.

Abilities (Click to Show)


Weaknesses (Click to Show)


As for the rest of the rest of the profile, I guess it's okay (although the fact that a creature with human intelligence thinks its weak-hair tentacle things are a defense mechanism is a touch strange, in my opinion).

That's my CNC. I sincerely hope it has been of help, though I was probably just blabbering the whole time. :)
buckethead
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Oct 19, 2017 7:13 PM #1484825
ok ok enough is enough i will redo my character but i am keeping the skull related abilities and that it can produce fog. look i created this thing with the ability to create fog under [thread=103962] CRANK'S MONSTER MIX[/thread] see post 29 it was created on the 19th of September. i get it people cannot imagine this creature like i do i thought i made its description good enough but apparently i did not. now do i have to f***ing describe every f***ing inch of this creature!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sheesh. aside form that i am also keeping the cacophony of voices ability for one it took me three days to work out the details of that ability alone. and i will rework the story and vern i like your original ideas. ill see what fireflygoddess comes up with for the prototype of my character to see how she is able to deal with it for the monster mix and ill go from there. until such time this thread is under construction. ok are you guys happy?!?!?!?!?!

edit: i made this before i realized that you cassandra made that post i will use your cnc as a reference because at least you seem to grasp the idea of my er monstrosity at least a little bit. also this post was in reference to verns cnc
Cassandra
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Oct 19, 2017 7:20 PM #1484826
The CNC is only here to help you buckethead. I know how to work with monster characters; in fact, my dream is to become a creature/concept designer. I will help you with your character, if you like. We can talk through PM if you don't want this thread to fill up with responses. :)

Please. Let me help you.
buckethead
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Oct 19, 2017 7:26 PM #1484828
Quote from Cassandra
The CNC is only here to help you buckethead. I know how to work with monster characters; in fact, my dream is to become a creature/concept designer. I will help you with your character, if you like. We can talk through PM if you don't want this thread to fill up with responses. :)

Please. Let me help you.


its fine my sister(fireflygoddess by the way) has a lot of different creature and she is a great artist. ill be working with her to help me out though thanks for the help. i may ask for it but i need time to calm down and think right now ill go about redoing my character soon as she is done with college for the day.
FalconX578
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Oct 19, 2017 7:36 PM #1484829
Quote from buckethead
its fine my sister(fireflygoddess by the way) has a lot of different creature and she is a great artist.


Wait. Wait wait. Sorry for making this off topic, but you're firefly's sister? Wow, the more you know.
buckethead
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Oct 19, 2017 7:38 PM #1484830
Quote from FalconX578
Wait. Wait wait. Sorry for making this off topic, but you're firefly's sister? Wow, the more you know.


yeah i am i introduced her to the world and well as you can see she took to it faster that a moth to a flame.
FalconX578
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Oct 19, 2017 7:40 PM #1484831
Quote from buckethead
Quote from FalconX578;1484829
Wait. Wait wait. Sorry for making this off topic, but you're firefly's sister? Wow, the more you know.


yeah i am i introduced her to the world and well as you can see she took to it faster that a moth to a flame.


Haha. Glad you did though! Hope she stays for a bit, want to challenge her sometime in the future...
buckethead
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Oct 19, 2017 7:43 PM #1484832
Quote from FalconX578
Haha. Glad you did though! Hope she stays for a bit, want to challenge her sometime in the future...


we shall see. as for me i might just shelve my skull walker for now and go with my original idea of the heads of Cerberus.
PitchEnder
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Oct 19, 2017 8:27 PM #1484834
Quote from buckethead
now do i have to f***ing describe every f***ing inch of this creature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Image

Quote from buckethead
look i created this thing with the ability to create fog under CRANK'S MONSTER MIX see post 29 it was created on the 19th of September.


As I mentioned before, I did see what you said about the mist. In the Monster Mix thread, your monster says it can create fog and that's it. The 5 feet of visibility has obviously been tacked on to the end of the sentence. Edit: Plus the whole teleportation thing.... like... c'mon man.

Quote from bucketmantheonewhowearsthebucket
aside form that i am also keeping the cacophony of voices ability for one it took me three days to work out the details of that ability alone.


Firstly, don't hang on to an ability just because you worked on it for a while. If it doesn't really work then you should always consider how you can make it better or how you can scrap it.

Secondly, like Cassandra stated in her CnC, the Cacophony of Voices really won't affect most of the wRHGs. Some of them won't even get blown away by the shockwave.

OVERALL

Calm thineself. Vern's shockingly low amount of sugarcoating is just his way of telling you that you can definitely do better. The power is within you!
buckethead
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Oct 19, 2017 8:43 PM #1484835
Quote from PitchEnder
Image



As I mentioned before, I did see what you said about the mist. In the Monster Mix thread, your monster says it can create fog and that's it. The 5 feet of visibility has obviously been tacked on to the end of the sentence. Edit: Plus the whole teleportation thing.... like... c'mon man.



Firstly, don't hang on to an ability just because you worked on it for a while. If it doesn't really work then you should always consider how you can make it better or how you can scrap it.

Secondly, like Cassandra stated in her CnC, the Cacophony of Voices really won't affect most of the wRHGs. Some of them won't even get blown away by the shockwave.

OVERALL

Calm thineself. Vern's shockingly low amount of sugarcoating is just his way of telling you that you can definitely do better. The power is within you!


right right right look i know i have a lot of work to do with it and i am working on it. just give me a few hours minimum with this thing and i will make it work.
Alphaeus
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Oct 19, 2017 8:56 PM #1484840
Well, I wasn't going to comment. Vern's CnC is thorough AF and he's someone I trust for reviews on my ideas. BUT, you don't seem to have caught his meaning, so I'll try to clear things up.

1) Appearance:
>>Vern's not saying you need to describe. Vern's saying this looks like a fantasy from a Monster's Inc. designroom trashbin. I can picture it fine. But the image is fucked up. If I saw this, I wouldn't scream. I'd be laughing. Purples and greens do not a monster make. I feel like you took literally every element of a monster and just mashed it into this. Skulls? Check. Glowing shit? Tentacles? Snakeheads? Toothy maws? Evil eyes? Beak? Freak-tongue? Etc. Find a single appearance you're going for and do it. I'd go with the skull-based appearance. Ditch the rest of the mess.

2) The Fog
>>He did she did bleh. Yes, you created the fog. Yes, you also admitted to adjusting it to mirror Pitch's stuff. I dislike it, but fine. Whatever. The problem is that it just doesn't fit too well. This is a beast that shouldn't need the mist. But you want to keep it. So whatever. Not the worst deal here.

3) The gazillion stuff
>>Again, just too much. Think about it. Handy is the top class classic. He does one fucking thing -- he's made of hands/fingers and summons them. He has one side thing -- his tongue-hand-thing hijacks brains/computers/whatever and consumes their consciousness through shittery. That's it. Zalgo -- he's got a few things, but he's a tough alien with mouths and oil. Omega -- hentai lord with a ring. You -- all these different things that don't need to be there. A good monster has 1-2 gimmicks. That's it. Look at the best horror movies. The monsters do 1-2 things. That's it. Aka, trim it the fuck down.

4) Story
>>This is less of an issue. A Monster's a Monster. A good story would be nice, and something unique would be cool. I agree with Vern -- go with the grave digger side.

5) Personality
>>Why is this even here on a monster? It suggest he has one, then indicates he doesn't really.

6) Your sis
>>Please, please, PLEASE take this nicely. I'm glad both of you are here. I love the enthusiasm, and it's people like you that keep these forums alive. But I would REALLY suggest taking Cassandra's advice. Firefly's char was only slightly better received than your monster. She may be older/more experienced, but at least from what I can see she doesn't have a better grasp on this than you. You're both beginners, and beginner taking advice from slightly-teensy-bit-less-beginner doesn't help. Cassandra might not have created a golden child like Veir or Richard, but she's still a seasoned vet that's proven she can create good, solid chars (if a bit quirky sometimes :P).
buckethead
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Oct 19, 2017 9:13 PM #1484841
Quote from Alphaeus
Well, I wasn't going to comment. Vern's CnC is thorough AF and he's someone I trust for reviews on my ideas. BUT, you don't seem to have caught his meaning, so I'll try to clear things up.

1) Appearance:
>>Vern's not saying you need to describe. Vern's saying this looks like a fantasy from a Monster's Inc. designroom trashbin. I can picture it fine. But the image is fucked up. If I saw this, I wouldn't scream. I'd be laughing. Purples and greens do not a monster make. I feel like you took literally every element of a monster and just mashed it into this. Skulls? Check. Glowing shit? Tentacles? Snakeheads? Toothy maws? Evil eyes? Beak? Freak-tongue? Etc. Find a single appearance you're going for and do it. I'd go with the skull-based appearance. Ditch the rest of the mess.

2) The Fog
>>He did she did bleh. Yes, you created the fog. Yes, you also admitted to adjusting it to mirror Pitch's stuff. I dislike it, but fine. Whatever. The problem is that it just doesn't fit too well. This is a beast that shouldn't need the mist. But you want to keep it. So whatever. Not the worst deal here.

3) The gazillion stuff
>>Again, just too much. Think about it. Handy is the top class classic. He does one fucking thing -- he's made of hands/fingers and summons them. He has one side thing -- his tongue-hand-thing hijacks brains/computers/whatever and consumes their consciousness through shittery. That's it. Zalgo -- he's got a few things, but he's a tough alien with mouths and oil. Omega -- hentai lord with a ring. You -- all these different things that don't need to be there. A good monster has 1-2 gimmicks. That's it. Look at the best horror movies. The monsters do 1-2 things. That's it. Aka, trim it the fuck down.

4) Story
>>This is less of an issue. A Monster's a Monster. A good story would be nice, and something unique would be cool. I agree with Vern -- go with the grave digger side.

5) Personality
>>Why is this even here on a monster? It suggest he has one, then indicates he doesn't really.

6) Your sis
>>Please, please, PLEASE take this nicely. I'm glad both of you are here. I love the enthusiasm, and it's people like you that keep these forums alive. But I would REALLY suggest taking Cassandra's advice. Firefly's char was only slightly better received than your monster. She may be older/more experienced, but at least from what I can see she doesn't have a better grasp on this than you. You're both beginners, and beginner taking advice from slightly-teensy-bit-less-beginner doesn't help. Cassandra might not have created a golden child like Veir or Richard, but she's still a seasoned vet that's proven she can create good, solid chars (if a bit quirky sometimes :P).


first of all i was here before cassandra and two my sister has been creating monsters for... shes telling me to just shut up and just rework the character from scratch... sigh ill get back to you people next time i have free time.
Alphaeus
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Oct 19, 2017 9:22 PM #1484842
Don't worry about it mate. Also, I was talking about activity. Just because you were here you weren't active really. Again, don't put too much weight on things. That's actually the fastest way to create shit is to think this place is that important, because you'll overwork the idea. And just like cookie dough, overworking leads to shit.

No offense to either of you, just judging by what I can see and read for myself. Also, people here all love to CnC -- I've learned usually just read it, take it, and don't bother always trying to comment. You can't please everyone and don't try to, but also don't take this too seriously. Just create a fun, simple concept and have fun.
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