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Penny Dreadful (Shock.WAV) Vs. The Handyman (WafflesMgee)

Started by: Shock.WAV | Replies: 22 | Views: 2,450

Kamiroo Wolf
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Oct 16, 2015 12:24 PM #1409046
Quote from RichardLongflop
I guess I oughta stick to the silly physical fights then. Sigh.


I honestly don't think you should. I'm in no position to give you, of all people, criticism, but one thing I must say is that your character is absolutely brilliant and it'd be a shame to see him go. My only problem with your story was that it was focused too much around Penny(even though that's kinda what your character is all about) and took way too long to get to the point. I can appreciate you wanting to fully represent the character, but please keep in mind that us "commonfolk" typically have the attention span of hyperactive squirrels. Humans have a natural desire for bloodshed, and we crave for our bloodlust to be sated. When Penny dispatched that guard you had me hooked(easy to please, aren't I?) and I read through the whole story eagerly awaiting my meal. The father's child, her brother's nurse, the fish tank...all appetizers that set the bar too high for a feast that was, in all honesty...average.

But what do I know? I'm just a mediocre writer who needs to hide behind edgy metaphors.
Urako

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Oct 16, 2015 12:42 PM #1409049
Quote from RichardLongflop
I guess I oughta stick to the silly physical fights then. Sigh.


Almost everybody likes your character, the atmosphere he creates, and his fights in general. Just because people think it is a little slow, doesn't mean it was bad. I still only voted for Shock.wav's because his was very good as well. Please don't go overboard over a few votes.
RichardLongflop
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Oct 16, 2015 12:43 PM #1409050
Handy's just a medium in which the other character is developed. Handy has no real character to himself. Of course it bloody revolves around Penny, it's about who she is, what she is, her fears and how they affect her. If she'll overcome them or succumb to them.

I'm always wanting to be more concise but I look back at my stories and I'm unable to shorten them any more. It's bollocks.
Kamiroo Wolf
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Oct 16, 2015 3:37 PM #1409059
Quote from RichardLongflop
Handy's just a medium in which the other character is developed. Handy has no real character to himself. Of course it bloody revolves around Penny, it's about who she is, what she is, her fears and how they affect her. If she'll overcome them or succumb to them.

I'm always wanting to be more concise but I look back at my stories and I'm unable to shorten them any more. It's bollocks.


Then fuck it. If you're not getting the results you want from The Handyman then by all means change your wRHG. We're telling you it would be a mistake, because this just a loss(which hasn't even been finalized yet, for Christ's sake). If this is how you're going to take it, then screw it. Kick and scream and cry all you want, but in the end it's all meaningless.
RichardLongflop
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Oct 16, 2015 4:07 PM #1409066
What? I'm not gonna change him. Where did I ever mention that?

Battles like Malacal and Veir were more physical-based which is what I meant by "I guess I oughta stick to the silly physical fights then"
This battle was an attempt at something far closer to what I wanted out of Handy, but since it seems to have failed I'm gonna try some other stuff to see what works, until I can figure out something that meets my desires and is enjoyable to read by others.

You think I'm gonna change wRHG since because I might lose ONE battle? What sort of bitch do you take me for? I'm disappointed in myself, yeah, but that's just more motivation to improve and evolve.
ErrorBlender
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Oct 17, 2015 7:35 PM #1409295
It is difficult to decide whom to vote. Both Richard and Shock's works used Handy's presence well, a battle within themselves as Richard initially wanted. I agree that Richard's was slower in pace compared to Shock's but in the case of this kind of battle, slow isn't bad. You're trying to expose a past of a character and have them 'get over it', live through them again, face their fears or reveal some history hidden even from the profile page that you could add later on. There are minor errors on both parties and they're most likely just a bit of parts that were missed during the proofread. Nothing that breaks the plot.

I'll think on it a bit more.
Hewitt

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Oct 19, 2015 12:50 AM #1409513
Quote from GuardianTempest
Pls no. The casuals might be dismaying, I hope you don't actually abandon your atmospheric trump card in favor of just "I PUNCH AND KILL."


The irony is that no one literally ever does I PUNCH AND KILL anyway, as they forego it with always-flashy-shit.

Punching to kill would be a breath of fresh air.




Anyways, it's so rare that a battle gets more than 10 posts so I might actually read this one. But I won't be judging the merits of the stories on the battles so, I'll be skipping those and purely be basing it on how its written minus that.
RichardLongflop
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Oct 19, 2015 5:37 AM #1409572
The majority of battles seem to get more than 10 posts?
Excluding the newest RexVsDevi battle, each Battles thread has this number of posts:

22,12,24,1,12,8,15,32,1,15,0,10,13,12,5,18,48,21,6

Add it up and divide it by itself to get the mean, average post count of a battle thread is 13.316. Not rare.
But ay, post. By all means, do your thang.
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