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Start of Sci-Fi Story.

Started by: SHAD0VV | Replies: 4 | Views: 698

SHAD0VV

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Feb 5, 2016 8:43 PM #1435748
Hello, I'm new to the WL, but have recently started working on a Science Fiction novel. What do you guys think? Should I continue it?
beginning of it so far (Click to Show)
Alphaeus
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Feb 6, 2016 2:45 AM #1435819
Okay, I like the way it started overall. Good "hook" to start the book with.

Unfortunately for you, I am an Idealist, and thus not much given to detailing my compliments. Just understand that I do genuinely like it.

Now for the critiques.

Crits (Click to Show)


Now, all that said, I can see the seed of a great writer in you. That is something that no person on earth can create...it is either there, or it isn't. If you are serious about this, you need to just relax, and let it come to you. I want you to just take the time to lay on your back every night for a month and...imagine ...no, not just imagine...dream. Not asleep, might you, but let your mind wander across your own thoughts, feelings, wishes, emotions, experiences, plans, hopes, desires, fears, etc...like a breeze, and let those "healthful vapors" as the old sages called them coalesce into the framework that you have laid, and condense into the billowy forms of characters. Take those clouds of what may be, and seed them with whatever excites you, letting the rains of productivity fall down and flood the pages of your book.

Therein are my complements and critiques, along with some advice from a fellow writer.

Hope they help, and no matter what, don't stop writing! ;)
SHAD0VV

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Feb 6, 2016 2:52 AM #1435823
Thanks--I'm trying to get better at writing and I appreciate you giving me feed back ;)
WhiteWood
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Feb 8, 2016 7:23 PM #1436391
Alphaeus covered most of it, but I just want to point out that grammar and punctuation are important. You did nothing wrong per se, but here are just some suggestions. Copy other authors while you are starting out, look in a book you own and find some dialogue that matches the style that you are trying to write. Eventually, you'll create you're own style of dialogue writing after being influenced by multiple authors and sources of material.



Now, time for some corrections: (Click to Show)


That's all I have to offer in ways of critique that Alphaeus hasn't already offered, haha.
DelorMaximus
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Feb 9, 2016 8:03 AM #1436549
HEY I REALLY LIKED IT. It's a great intro. OK Alta kinda mentioned to the 1st person, which I can understand your struggles. I also suck at 1st person writing (that's why 3rd person is dominant C; ). But yea I liked it. Keep going
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