Anyways, I'll be alot stricter than my last thread. That means, don't post unless you wanna fight. Also obviously the only one immune to the rule is me, cos I'm the one writing the fights.
Also what determines whether I 'like' something is pretty subjective. If I find the poster's suggestion interesting, I might have more to say about it. If I don't, it's just going to get pwned :D So no hard feelings, try again. And be yourself.
Naturally these blurbs will be mildly long so please, don't post something until I'm done with your last one, okay? Here we go:
Quote from _Ai_i equip myself with the power of moe
Ai re-adjusts his Hatsune Miku headband, wraps some sexy waifu pillows around his arms, and flips down his paper mache Kyubey mask for the ultimate protection as he tries to grasp the doorknob leading to Hewitt's flat.
"Mmph mmph mmh mmhhruuuh MMUH MUH," he said to himself, instantly regretting sacrificing the cuteness of his costume by not drilling any eye and mouth holes in his perfect little mask.
After 25 minutes of fumbling and jiggling, the knob finally turned. Ai readied a stance when the door quickly flung open and the thundering crack of wood slammed directly into Ai's face. Kyubey's features crumpled before the might of good ol' American oak as a pool of blood began to form, menstruating his waifus in the process.
"Who's next?" Hewitt smugly said, resting the baseball bat over his shoulders.
Quote from TheLordAndSavantI harness the power of Memes, and transcend humanity to become the Meme Incarnate. (I'm gonna lose.)
Suddenly hip-hop sounds began emanating all over the background as spotlights flick on, illuminating Hewitt's insidiously dark front lawn. There up on stage was LordSavant, wearing a Pope Costume ready to drop some beats. He sashayed left and right as 2 sharks burst from underneath the floorboards and joined in the mystic dance. Obviously enticed by his own awesomeness, he didn't even immediately recognize his adversary for the night until he looked at him straight in the eye with glee.
"ERMAHGERD HERWERT!"
"I don't want any trouble." Hewitt lied.
"I don't always feel like I want to fight people." TheLordSavant said in between raps. "But when I do, I use everything the Internet has taught me." He points downwards as his fellow sharks jump on cue, diving their way towards Hewitt at blindingly bullet-like speeds.
Hewitt remained calm, and waited for the right moment. Both sharks were twirling really fast with intense precision and grace like that of a---
"Bingo."
In the crucial moment, LordSavant's Left Shark began to spazz out, trying to break out and do its own kind of killing motion. It should've just stuck to the script however. Hewitt used the moment to run up from the left blind spot and fling his bat at the LordSavant. It went flying straight into...a photobombing squirrel. LordSavant laughed in celebration dancing the gangnam style with glee.
"Forget it. I have the Internet on my side."
But theLordSavant was celebrating too early. He was also Gangnam Styling in his tux and black shades at night. And thus he failed to see properly until it was too late---that of Hewitt raising his iphone in the air and the most terrible sound reaching his ears...
COLO TERORITA
As if on command, theLordSavant began to shake wildly as the sounds of electronic trumpets and other nonsense blared through his speakers. He tried very hard to shake it off, but every anti-shake merely strengthened his unholy momentum as the trumpets got louder and louder until---
"DO THE HARLEM SHAKE!"
LOADS. AND LOADS. Of people. Suddenly materialized all over the stage. Each faggot more retarded than the other. One wearing a mask and the another stark naked. They bumped and bashed LordSavant, passing him around like a nightclub chew toy until their sheer mass gave way to the creaking wooden stage, crushing him under the weight of his own memes.
Quote from Scarecrowyou know drunken boxing? i wanna fight like that, except instead of alcohol it's psychedelics.
"Well, I'm glad that's over..." Hewitt would've loved to say. Except it wasn't. Because after that stupid dance meme, a sitar started strumming in its place of the background. And up from underneath the shrubbery came this gangly old hermit guy. He was zipping around, shaking uncontrollably and he smelled like day old orange peels. And then he slacks, lets his body go and with it all the world's earthly woes and grasped his hands around an invisible cylinder in front of him.
Hewitt leaned forward, unaware of his opponent's mysterious ways. In truth, Scarecrow was channeling heat energy into his invisible bong. Hewitt let his guard down to the hermit's mimicry of blowing in the air around him and suddenly whipping back, shooting his fingers forward in an O-shaped formation. Hewitt began to gasp unexpectedly, as he fell down choking for air. His face had gone red as the Chi surrounded to block his pathways until his eyes began to falter and there was nothing but darkness and a single lonely road ahead.
Quote from ZeroThe power of math is always awesome.
In comes this supernerd. Pocket protector, graphing calc, glasses and all. His slick hair and bright brace-laden teeth glimmers, intimidating the hermit as if to remind him of his poor life choices back in community college.
"The square root of pi is---"
Zero crumples to the ground with a hole in his stomach, wishing he had pie instead. The Hermit growled, channeling 10 years of rage when his nerdy math professor told him that his life will never go anywhere. Little did he know, that that accidental trip to the seedy Tibetan Red Light District opened the way to enlightenment. And drugs.
Quote from DrizzleI'll fight you with the law of physics.
Then Hewitt's flat, which he wasn't using anyway, crashed on top of everyone that had been fighting so far. The debris crumbling everywhere in a chaotic fashion. Drizzle smiles from his offscreen observation post made of constantly juggling bears trapped in perpetual rolling motion because why not. Physics.
Quote from VeirI just want a boomstick.
The next thing Drizz saw though was, a stick of dynamite rolling all the way beneath the perpetually juggling bears of power out of his vision. But He was quick on the eye and immediately jumped off that shaky tower...right into the sights of Veir's double-barreled shotgun.
BOOM!
Quote from DraouI arm myself with nothing but a pencil and paper.
Draou sets the pencil down, proud of his hour-long sketching session.
"And that's how Veir defeats Drizzle. See, the word 'boomstick' as you can see from my air quotes is actually a play on words. Drizzle thought it meant that the stick of Boom was a dynamite when in fact it was a BOOM stick. Huh? geddit?"
Draou's brains splattered all over the table.
That's the last time Veir hires an amateur to help advertise his life story.
Quote from Person McPersonI huff and puff and blow a fireball off this quote box, killing poor old Veir.
_`| / __`| / __`| / __`| / .-^ ___
---/ /----/ /----/ /----/ /--=^^ ^^=, (Veir)
--/ /----/ /----/ /----/ /---=__ __='
|._/ |._/ |._/ |._/ ^^^
Quote from poppetje3DMake me an underpowered poopi̶e̶m̶a̶n̶ ~signed NOT Dead McDeadPool
uhhh, really poppete? Well. I'm not even gonna try. You're poop. And McPerson squishes you flat.
Quote from DiPiArmed with the power of reason
Moving people to do what I say from VII a.c.
[/quote]Quote from Person McPerson]aw crap. That means I won't be able to control myself when I raise this exceedingly sharp knife to my face and...stab..repeatedly...and....fuck...I'm losing blood....
[QUOTE=Not_NishI want the power to defeat anyone.
What luck. Dipi also happens to be a genie. A very logical, reasonable genie, the kind that would always try to screw with people and warp their wishes around. So Nish was practically screwed when he asked for the power to defeat anyone.
Dipi wiggles his nose. Viola! Nish is now a human self-replicating Landmine. He explodes, taking everything with him.
Good thing Dipi was reasonable enough to get into his lamp in the nick of time.
Quote from theTDguyI want the power of masterful ass-licking. All great and powerful Hewitt!:D
Dipi wiggles his nose once more, and TDguy's tongue starts extending so far its making Gene Simmons jealous. The tongue then wraps around beneath TDguy and sodomizes him through and through from the inside out, killing him instantly for thinking of a retarded power.
Quote from DevourI enter with a sword whose power is absolutely eviscerating people who have the username "theTDguy"
Devour's sword begins to shake, calling out TDguy's soul. It pulls Devour like a divining rod until it finds his ass-licking corpse. Devour is saddened that his power had been a waste, yet the sword would have none of it. It began to poke, prod, and eventually cut through TDguy's lump of flesh, skewering his insides and outsides like a raging bull. Devour pleaded to stop but his special sword would have none of it. It was waving around, parading TDguy's guts everywhere, sprinkling his glorious blood for all to see.
Dipi attempts to get out of the way but a wayward intestine flies into his face, causing him to trip and fall into a replicating Nish-Mine, killing him instantly in a glorious ball of fire.
