Name: Jason 'The Elementalist'
Age:21
Ethnicity: Greek-Italian
Religious Alignment: Agnostic Atheist

own hair and bright blue eyes. He is 185cm tall and weighs around 80kg. His musclesaren't very strong although his reflexes are above average. He usually dresses in simple clothes with his prefered outfit being blue tracksiut trousers and a grey t-shirt with jacket optional.[/Spoiler]

e tries to use logic and wit to overpower his opponent and solve any problem. He has to see the evidence to believe in something. He has a scarred past and that makes it hard for him to trust people. He is introverted and prefers to stay to him-self. He won't be the one to start a conversation and will try to end them as quickly as he can. Other than that, he has a good sense of humor and can make you laugh at anything. Generally he doesn't talk about his own past, but is very interested in history.[/Spoiler]

. He can control and cast all the elements in nature.
l usually will use it as his main offence and create various and all types of attack with it.[/Spoiler]
nt although the rate which Jason can cast it is rather slow. He will rarely create water of his own an use the one in nature around him. He can also freeze any existing water or cast a short freezing beam(around 2m).[/Spoiler]
is less usable on it's own. It is more often used to distract the enemy or as defence.[/Spoiler]
o cast and Jason is still learning it.Along with earth it used for defence like blocking projectiles.[/Spoiler]
lement and Jason will usually hesitate to use it. It is his ending move and will usually use it to end the fight becasue it leaves him vulnerable afterwards.[/Spoiler]
nce or absence of any natural element nearby him. This is mostly applicble on earth and water, while on air it is almost useless unless it is toxic air.[/Spoiler][/Spoiler]

grow to the length of a double-edged warsword. He can empower the sword with an element and give it special abilities.
the blade turns red. He can engulf it whole with flames and shoot them if he swings it. The flame it has though isn't hot enough to create burns on impact, partly because it is not natural.[/Spoiler]
s sword, then the blade turns blue. A spacial effect is that he can make it liquid or make it a frozen pillar. He can enlengthen it, but slowly. The water state can change very quickly.[/Spoiler]
s of the earth and make the blade brown. He can interchange the type of rock, for example granite or marble. Thus he can make heavier or lighter depending on what he wants it to do. He can also connect the tip to the ground(if any) and guide attack through it.[/Spoiler]
e sword and change the color of the blade to grey. This is possibly the least useful state, because he can only guide attacks through the air with it. It should be noted though that the sword is extremely lighter than normal.[/Spoiler]
be gifted shortly to Jason's weapon and turn the blade light blue. Jason cna use it to ground himself and the surrounding area. He may also shoot lightning through it the same way with fire. He can choose to just create lightning around and change the nature of his attacks, depending on how large it is.[/Spoiler][/Spoiler]


him and Jason can't get away from him the he will use the sword in close combat and will utilize wide area attacks to try and stop his opponent.[/Spoiler][/Spoiler]


son it will tire him if he moves big quantities of it, even in a small distance. Here also works a lot the factor of distance.[/Spoiler]
eally hard to predict and evade but is also very energy-consuming and can sap a lot of energy from Jason by making him block many attacks or something like this.[/Spoiler]
sually doesn't want to use it because it can easily break out of his control if it requires more energy than he has.[/Spoiler][/Spoiler]
nt then the distance from him will increase the energy it consumes from him.[/Spoiler]
s no natural elements around him to use because they take time to create from himself.[/Spoiler]
utilization of the elements. If he were to fight normally with a trained swordsman then he would probably lose.[/Spoiler]
n will always try waste as less as possible but he is not perfect:
Large Lightning>Cyclone>Lightning>Air>Lightning-Sword>Fire(depends)>Air-Sword>Earth(depends)>Fire-Sword>Freeze>Water>Water-Sword.[/Spoiler][/Spoiler]

e edge of the Italian peninsula, in a greek village. His mother was greek and his father was Italian. Until the age of 8 his parents were scared because of Jason's powers. All of a sudden their child could create fire out of nowhere and control the sand. His father travelled to the big cities to get help, but it was futile. Noone had any advice to offer. The father returned to the village, just to see it burnt to the ground. He rushed to the place his house was only to find little Jason grabbing his knees, at a corner, moving back and forth. What followed next was so scarring that Jason did everthing humanly possible to forget it. He was left in a muddy puddle crying, stripped of anything, bleeding. He had killed his whole village, and was punished for it. A passing caravan luckily found him after 2 days nearly dead and unconscious. They fed him just enough to keep him alive and left him at the first city they passed. He was left with some scrappy clothes and alone. He survived, barely, for 6 more years due to his pityfulness and the charity passers-bys gave him. While he was lying in an alley, a man with white robes closed on him and carried him to his home. He fed him and housed him. Apparently he was spying on him for weeks, in order to confirm his guesses. The guess of Jason's powers. He shared similar powers with Jason and decied to teach him how to control them. He explained him also how he got his powers. He told him that every hundred million people that are born, one is being birn his unnatural powers. Those powers may vary wildly in type and amount, but still, they were unnatural abilities. For the next 7 years he tought him everything he could possibly teach Jason. He sent him to various missions and honed his abilities to the max. On the 7th anniversary of Jason's discovery(this replaced his birhtday which he forgot the date) Jason's benefactor gifted him a small white dagger with ornate carvings. He expalined that this was passed on him by his own teacher but that neither he nor his own master could fully control it. He said that he had hopes that Jason may be able to unlock its potential. He continued training with it for a couple of months and was sent at another mission for 3 weeks, which was exceptionally long. When he returned he found his house raided and destroyed. He found the body of his teacher lifelessly sitting at a chair. The head was hanging back and fresh blood still running from the mouth. On the chest was a stabbed a knife with a note below it. Jason picked the note up and read it: Your master gave his life for yours. Use this wisely and never use your powers again if you want to honor his memory. We will be watching you. Jason was detrimented and after leaving his master's body on a bed and caressing it, he left.[/Spoiler]



s progress in the RHG. I will adopt the story of battles wether he lost or won. If there is an event( like the Monster Mix) I will also add the story. This will take the form of small chapters.

had no people he could rely on and no one to look at. He was alone and desperate. He was an outcast wherever he went. He had tried to keep a low profile but he always got discovered and many times hunted. After a long and troublesome journey, Jason discovered some people he could relate to. They also had powers that were unnatural like his. They shared the struggle. They told they were going to a place called SP city, a place where an organisation by the name RHG had its headquarters. This organisation accepted people like Jason, and even better, allowed them to make a big profit. After learning that Jason decided to follow the group to their destination. He finally had a home.[/Spoiler]

while but he barely stayed there. Once the RHG gave him a permanent residence, he didn't even use. He set off to find various relics with alleged powers that would be really helpful to him. Jason travelled a lot but always what he got was either a useless artifact or nothing at all. He had grown to dislike this trend and got moer selective to his targets. When he had almost covered every possible artifact, except one, he went to a bar in order to drink and then rest. Luckily he got out of it before he was totally drunk and headed to his home. On his way, he got ambushed by a large man with long waist-length black hair. He tried little skirmishs first but Jason defended himself well. After some time Jason trapped his attacker and ended his battle barely alive. He searched his body and found a map that had information specifically for the last artifact he hadn't looked for. With this new hope Jason set off for probably the last trip of its kind.[/Spoiler]

He was after a powerful ord that could replenish his energy immediately so he would never be exhausted. The artifact was in the Forest of Light; a large foreted and partialy unc

I am back baby(get it?)! I was inactive for less than a year now and I decided to return dedicated this time with a fresh new character. You can ask me anything about him and will be open for any battle soon. If you want you can suggest ways I can correct in my story and Demo and feel free to call on any typos!

(Watch demo or PM for details)

In all honesty, you could use a lot more details on the character. Controlling the elements is pretty intensely strong, but with nothing defined, it's hard to make a judgement on the character. What, specifically does can he do with each category? How much does each action wear him down? Most battles doesn't just cut straight to combat, so personality could also use some fleshing out, as does his appearance. Does he normally rock any specific outfits? Dress casually? And you'll likely need weaknesses for the elements when you flesh out what they can do.

But welcome back!

EDIT: And as a heads up, might want to try to avoid double-posting. Updates are typically alright, but if you can reply to more than one thing in a post, you should do that

here is the thing i am willing to battle you. but your character is a little confusing. but by the Light i Fireflygoddess challenge you to a battle!!

Quote from fireflygoddess

here is the thing i am willing to battle you. but your character is a little confusing. but by the Light i Fireflygoddess challenge you to a battle!!

*accepts challenge*

EDIT: PM me for any clarifcations you need.

Quote from GreekGladiator

*accepts challenge*

oh and by the way after insulting me via private message saying that i English is not my first language. let me tell you that i will thoroughly enjoy ripping out your characters guts with my characters demon mode. tah tah oh and Follow the light. ^_^

Quote from fireflygoddess

oh and by the way after insulting me via private message saying that i English is not my first language. let me tell you that i will thoroughly enjoy ripping out your characters guts with my characters demon mode. tah tah oh and Follow the light. ^_^

I didn't mean to offend you( I specifically said no offence). Also thanks for reminding me, demon mode is the last thing(I hope) I can't comprehend. If you specify me that I think I will be able to start working on my story. Also English isn't my first languge and I am still learning it. This(the wRHG thing) is one way I found to improve myself.

Quote from GreekGladiator

I didn't mean to offend you( I specifically said no offence). Also thanks for reminding me, demon mode is the last thing(I hope) I can't comprehend. If you specify me that I think I will be able to start working on my story. Also English isn't my first language and I am still learning it. This(the wRHG thing) is one way I found to improve myself.

that is fine i am glad you are able to see the light. ^_^ as for my demon mode well its pretty self explanatory. basically everyone has a bit of darkness in them. so does serena. her demon mode is just how it expresses itself.

So she just goes mayhem? She loses control or gains more power? It may be self-explanatory to others but not me :confused:

Quote from GreekGladiator

So she just goes mayhem? She loses control or gains more power? It may be self-explanatory to others but not me :confused:

-facepalms laughing- by the Light. no basically if you are able to cut off her head or anything below that but above the lower body the lower body will go berserk. it will grow teeth where the lower body meets the upper body, bite off and spit out the upper body. pound its feet creating an earthquake and charge at the opponent relentlessly trying to either, a. trample them, or b. bite them in half. does that help. i mean its not to bright. no pun intended.

Quote from fireflygoddess

-facepalms laughing- by the Light. no basically if you are able to cut off her head or anything below that but above the lower body the lower body will go berserk. it will grow teeth where the lower body meets the upper body, bite off and spit out the upper body. pound its feet creating an earthquake and charge at the opponent relentlessly trying to either, a. trample them, or b. bite them in half. does that help. i mean its not to bright. no pun intended.

OK. I will start working on my story in the weekend and most likely end it then.

Quote from GreekGladiator

OK. I will start working on my story in the weekend and most likely end it then.

fair enough i will have mine done sometime next week or so. given i have work.

Sooo.

Quote from GreekGladiator

Do me next Daddy Alphaeus

Your wish has been granted, for better or worse.

Soo...In this case I'm not copy-pasting the whole post and going point by point. I can address the issues here because they are simple enough.

1) Appearance is simple and straightforward enough. Good.

2) Elemental powers...fine. No biggie. Whatever. The question I'm left with is How? How does he control these. You mention casting like he's an Elemental mage, but later you seem to indicate that it's just his mind like he's some kind of elemental superhero. Anyhow, the second problem here is that you don't give any parameters. "Oh, he controls stuff, but XYZ is a bit more taxing, etc." This means nothing to people who have no point of reference. I get a general sense you are trying to moderate is power a bit from the scaling difficulty, etc. What I find helpful is that if I can't quantify a power will in its description, I give a set of examples to show what I mean. I REALLY think you need to do that here.

3) Don't redirect me to read something else, you informal flipper. I want to read your weapon and know what your weapon does. End of Story. Tell me what each element does, how it changes, how he does that, etc.

4) Weaknesses suffer from the same problems as the Strengths – just too unclear. You give me a vague idea, but the cross references are just to other powers. I need concrete stuff here. Again, if you feel you cannot quantify it well because they are somewhat broad, use a set of examples to make the points.

5) Personality is 2D. You tell me about his combat attitudes, not his personality. PERSON-ality. Tell me who he is as a person. Does he like to drink kombucha? Is he into vore yiffing? Is he a nutcase that believes Giorgio A. Tsoukalos is right about the universe? Does he have an unsettling fear of cucumbers? (Don’t necessarily use these exact questions unless you want to, though…). ALSO...even what you have said is fairly generic. Remember, get personal. Get unique. Tell me what makes Jason be Jason, and not Jonny B. Goode.

6) DETAILS DETAILS. This is literally the origin story of half of all superheros and superpowered protagonists ever. Tell me what makes this the story of Jason instead of the plot of 50,000 other characters, aside from the word “Greece” thrown in.

7) Demo 1: WHWYWWWWWWYWYWYWYWHWWYHWHY?!?!? As you can guess, this is one of my favorite questions. It’s OK to leave a tantalizing tidbit vague to give something you can use as a plot point. But for the love of pickles WHY?! Why is any of this happening? If Jason has no clue, then at least give us a good solid bit of confusion. The dude who raised you since 7 and made you a superhero and gave you missions and shit doesn’t just fight you to the death and you be like “Oh, huh. That’s new. Sad to see you leaving so soon! Thanks!”

8) Demo 2: Is this a snipping from some Batman comic? I mean, really…hordes of clown-masked villains? Does Jason live in Gotham and have a secret conflict with the Joker? No? Then really….Clown-masks are NOT that popular. Really. I mean, you could pull this off in a comedy bit, but there isn’t comedy here, so it just looks like a comic-strip rip-off.

9) Your writing in general is choppy AF. If you touch the “enter” button again without making a nice healthy paragraph I will surgically implant your fingers in your ears. This is not a courtroom transcript, or an aftergame play-by-play. This is a story. WRITE, dammit. Show, don’t tell is one of the oldest lines in the book for good reason. You are literally just going “And so and so did this, and so and so thought this, and so and so did that, and…etc.” NO. NONONONONONO. Stop it. When you write, picture the scene in your head. DESCRIBE that scene as you would see it if you (or, more accurately, the reader) was using the Point of View you’re writing it from (Point of View just refers to what perspective you’re using when you write the story. Are you looking at it from the main character’s PoV, or an omniscient narrator/third person, or…etc?). If you find this hard/odd, do this: Look up from your computer. Look at whatever room you’re in. Just what you can see. Use your own PoV, and write me a full page that makes me feel I’m literally in this room. Now, in a story you wouldn’t need a full page, but the idea of this exercise is to learn how to describe in full minute detail, because you can then scale that skill back or tune it for use in any scene in your writing.

10) Finals. I really hate finals. If someone is exhausted from stress that’s built up, fine. If someone is deliberately over-giving of their powers to achieve something, fine. But having a power that is innately just a “final form” deal that you use predictably every time things get bad is a crutch. It’s a crutch because it is so predictable that it ruins the element of surprise and novelty supposed to be found in fictional writing. Jason’s electricity is leaning towards that point right now. I suggest you scale it back to being something usable. If you want powers that stress a character, have all of the powers build that stress/exhaustion to a certain degree (some more than others, fine). That way you can work with a normal, logical point where the char is tired as opposed “I ENTER MY FINAL FORM WITH MY LAST ENERGY TO SMITE THEE MOTHERFUCKERS BEFORE I PASS OUT.” Also, please. Passing out is really overdone. It takes a fucking hell of a lot to make any remotely well-trained/fit person pass out. This doesn’t just happen from exhausting yourself. In fact, humans have this little thing called adrenaline. It kinda totally prevents that from happening if they are in any kind of fight, fear, etc. most of the time.


Summary:

This character is usable, and has some potential. Work on details, details, details, stop touching that enter button like it’s some kind of fetish, and you’ll be on your way to some decent growth.

*Gulp*. OK.

To be honest I was disappointed wth myslef about the state of the thread. Some of these points I have recongnised myself, but was too busy being a lazy fuck so I couldn't change them.

Let the counter-argument begin(more like answering):

1:Nothing more to say :D

2:As for the origin of the powers... Well what do you want me to say, like a divine creature granted him the ability to control the elements, or that a group of scientists somehow implemented this ability into him while a baby, and then erased his traumatic memories or something. Heh, the second gave me some ideas but I don't think so. Tha abilities themsleves are supernatural, so it is kinda hard for me(as a person with logical thinking and down-to-earth thought) to accept them already. I agree that I should develp more on HOW he controls them though.

3:Isn't the Demo's purpose to explain the abilities of a character through the story? It might look lacking(it is actually) but the nature of the ability is hard to explain. The limit is Jason's imagination. It is hard to write down everything he can do if you get my point.

4:Again the same thing with the Demo. It is almost certain I will write a 3rd one because I see much misunderstanding about Jason's abilities. You might(and should) call me a lazy piece of shit for that. I will see what I can do and probably revamp that segment instead of adding and removing stuff.

5:*evil laugh*. Well you just gave me an idea. Will work on it at the weekend, when I will do a sort-of update.

6:The story is exceptionally small and underdeveloped, I give you that. It is partly because when I wrote down the character I had everything figured, but the Story and Demo. I just thought of them and wrote it when on top of my head. Probably will make a new one and completely delete the first Demo.

7:I myself recognise how bad the Demo is and as I stated above, it will be removed. It was just rushed.

8:I was thinking of writing some other kind of masks but for some reason ended using clown masks. And it could be a plot-twist if was ACTUALLY in Gotham, right?

9::( Me now me wraiting iz bed.

10:I personally don't consider lighting as a "final-form" sort of move. Like his other abilities It all comes to Jason's imagination to how he uses it. Would you like to see just him walking up to his opponent and shooting him down with lighting? What kind of two second battle is that? And I just don't feel right with not including lightning in his abilities. I hope I described it well enough in the fighting style segment on how he PREFERS to use it. And if it works why not do it amirite?

Quote from Alphaeus

If you want powers that stress a character, have all of the powers build that stress/exhaustion to a certain degree (some more than others, fine). That way you can work with a normal, logical point where the char is tired.

This was my idea on how Jason's abilities work. I regret if I didn't make that clear.

Summary:

Have you even seen my "enter" button? It is hot AF. I can't resist pressing it.
Oh and that details thingy, depends on how lazy I feel at the moment I write. I hope my upcoming battle won't let you down in that regard.(Remember that like many of the people here, English osn't my native language and my experience with it is very recent and relatively small(relative to people who use English as a lingua-franca for long)).

HOPE I COVERED YOU AND CONVINCED YOU NOT TO SURGICALLY IMPLANT MY FINGERS INTO MY EARS.