Heh, mind breaking up that about section into a few paragraphs? Kinda frightening as is. I think she's a cute character, but as I mentioned on the Proving Grounds, I'm still worried you might be limiting yourself. I have a tricky time seeing many fights that aren't Character B being wildly uncomfortable fighting her. Hope ya prove me wrong with some variety though!

Quote from Crank

Heh, mind breaking up that about section into a few paragraphs? Kinda frightening as is. I think she's a cute character, but as I mentioned on the Proving Grounds, I'm still worried you might be limiting yourself. I have a tricky time seeing many fights that aren't Character B being wildly uncomfortable fighting her. Hope ya prove me wrong with some variety though!

I thought I had that section broken up into paragraphs.... odd.

Don't you worry, I'll try to find some variety. I've already noticed that writing with her is significantly easier than writing with Fell, so I think I'll do fine.

Eh, what the hell. Her folks still in the picture? If you can get her to a grocery store, I could use a spar/battle

Quote from Crank

Eh, what the hell. Her folks still in the picture? If you can get her to a grocery store, I could use a spar/battle

Her parents are around. She also lives in an RHG funded gladiator apartment, so she can definitely be at a grocery store since she has to pay for her own shit.

Pitch, the character seems fine enough. There is always the point of "Why the fuck would a 13 year old want to fight shit" but that's a different issue.

My point is how well can a 17 year old guy get into the mind of a 13 year old girl?

I mean, think about it. It's one think to have a character that is a side role, or even a main character, that you have to push yourself to relate to.

Your personal protagonist, though, calls into question if you'll be able to craft a feasible story that anyone actually gives a fuck about out of this. Can you make the reader relate to this girl? That's a serious challenge, and probably one of the things most people struggle with -- being able to connect enough with characters to write a reasonable story.

Quote from Alph

There is always the point of "Why the fuck would a 13 year old want to fight shit" but that's a different issue.

She basically wants to be famous.

Quote from Alph

My point is how well can a 17 year old guy get into the mind of a 13 year old girl?

Beth's personality is heavily based on what I was like around 10 years old and younger. The weird thing is, Beth has been the easiest character to write for so far. I understand her optimism and where it comes from, which allows me to figure out how she would see/react to things.

Quote from Alph

Can you make the reader relate to this girl? That's a serious challenge, and probably one of the things most people struggle with -- being able to connect enough with characters to write a reasonable story.

I sure do hope so. I am in the process of creating an entire plot line for this character that, I believe, is something that people can relate to in some way. But, I don't want to give anything away before it's meant to.

Thanks for the comment, Alph.