Quote from e_o_lock

A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot announces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing.
The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed.
So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Iron this."

You'll fit around here nicely.

SEXCIST JOKES GO!

A man runs over his wife with the car, whos fault is it?

The husband, he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

COMBO:

Why did the woman cross the road?

Wait, better question, why is she out of the kitchen!?

What does a woman do when she gets out of the battered wives clinic?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Man walks into a bar with a parrat on his shoulder the barman says "Oi weard you get that parrat cunt" And the parrat says "It started off as a boil on my arse"

Shit i thought by now the sexcist thing wouldve blown over >_>

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 vodkas and 2 gins the bartender asks "Whats with the heavy drinking?" the man replies" I just found out my first son is gay." The Next day the man orders 3 vodkas and 2 gins the bartender asks"What now?" the man replies" I just found out my second son is gay." The third day the man again orders 3 vodkas and 2 gins the bartender asks"Found out your third son is gay." the man replies"Yep." The day after that the man orders 3 vodkas and 2 gins the bartender asks"Geez doesnt anyone in your family like woman?" the man answers"Yeah... my wife."

Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

One day a man walks into a bar and orders 3 beers the bartender asks"Why three?" the man says quietly"My brother lives in ireland my other brother Scotland we promised to drink with eachother everyday so we each drink three beers representing the three of us drinking together." The next day the man orders 3 beers and drinks them. The day after that the man orders 2 the bartender asks"Why two?" the man says "I quit drinking"

One day a father comes home and his son says, " I had sex today!" and the father is really proud so he goes to work and brags to his friends. That day he comes home and asks his son,"did you have sex today?" and his son replies,"no my butt hurts to much from yesterday!" lolololololol

Quote from muttonhead

Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Nice.

What's the difference between a battery and marriage?

A battery has a positive side.

lol good one

Two fleas on a bike. The rider stops. "Why did we stop?", "I had a bug in my eye".

What do you call a woman with a black eye

Educated

What do you call a woman with two black eyes?

A slow learner

How did the man drown in the bowl of muselia?

He was pulled in by a strong current

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

Protip: Highlight the post for answers

How do you stop a mexican tank?

shoot the guy who's pushing it



Why doesn't Mexico have a Navy?

because card-board doesn't float

How do you stop a M.T.?
Pop the tires

Why doesnt mexico have a navy?
They cant swim