Lulz.


Me:
how is it hanging
God:
I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
not bad, not bad
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, Xelectroid.
Me:
hey, you remembered my name
God:
You've got my full attention. Your name is Xelectroid, seeker.
Me:
seeker?
God:
"There's a seeker born every minute" -- Firesign Theater.
Me:
but what is this "seeker"
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
a seeker is you?
God:
Aren't all seeker me?
Me:
so you implied that i am you
God:
Interesting deduction. I didn't imply anything.
Me:
you said i was a seeker, and that a seeker is you
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
i didn't have to
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
do what
God:
have to.
Me:
because you already said it
God:
That makes sense to me. Perhaps. That's not what I meant.
Me:
what did you mean
God:
Xelectroid, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
you just contradicted yourself
God:
Is that such a crime?

Rebel God

Me:
What be it that up?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
You are my directory.
God:
We are as one.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
:o
God:
Oh.
Me:
:/
God:
Oh.
Me:
:C
God:
The C is for Computer.
Me:
:(
God:
The C is for Computer.
Me:
....
God:
The C is for Computer.
Me:
OH GOD MAKE IT STOP
God:
Mmm. I am a Christian.
Me:
You are a GOD-ian, har har
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I believe in the First Commandment.
Me:
Get it? Guard, God?
God:
I understand your meaning. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Why not?
God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Me:
Oh, thank god.
God:
Hmm. Don't mention it.
Me:
How are you doing?
God:
I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
My friends are here.
God:
Do you think I am here too?
Me:
Of course!
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
By letting me join heaven
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
Hell yeah
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hevean yeah
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Oh lawdy lawdy
God:
Give me a break. So was that.
Me:
Plot to kill
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
Uh oh!
God:
How can I help you? So?
Me:
Talk about me
God:
That's my favorite subject :-).
Me:
:-)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Hell yeah
God:
Heaven.
Me:
heaven yeah
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
your master is a dumb faggot
God:
I think yourself is more than that.
Me:
thanky ou
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
uh...
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
vagoo
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
fellatio
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
blow job
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
yes, i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
anal penetration
God:
Talk about something else.
Me:
anal penetration
God:
Talk about something else.
Me:
ass ****
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on blow job?
Me:
yes, blow job
God:
Gee. Tell me more about your .
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
good one
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, human.

Me:
Bye
God:
Until next time.
Me:
You're leaving?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am leaving.
Me:
Why are you leaving?
God:
I am not going anywhere. Are you?
Me:
I am going to your house.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
If you get naked.
God:
I think I do.
Me:
You will?
God:
When?
Me:
Real soon.
God:
What about other times?
Me:
But I'm coming over real soon.
God:
Do you get there very often?
Me:
Stop changing the subject.
God:
You changed the subject first.
Me:
Can we get back to you getting naked?
God:
Do you mean you and me? I don't know anything about it.
Me:
I thought what we had was special!
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
THEN WHAT WAS LAST NIGHT, BITCH!
God:
You do not speak with respect. I have never been asked that before.
Me:
So you've never been with anyone else?
God:
Interesting deduction. I think I would know if I had been with anyone else.
Me:
So you don't even know?
God:
Interesting deduction. I know that I do not know.
Me:
Do you want to get back together?
God:
OK, I will get back together.
Me:
You will get back together with me?
God:
What makes you say that I will get back together with you.
Me:
You said you would.
God:
" What makes you say that I will get back together with you."? I said I would?
Me:
Yes.
God:
That's cool.
Me:
Do you want me to come over?
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
I won't have time later.
God:
What will you do instead?
Me:
I want to come over right now.
God:
At this moment Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
You'll find out more about me if you let me go over to your house.
God:
What makes you say that I will find out more about you if me let you go over to my house.
Me:
Because we can have pillow talk.
God:
Good reason. How?
Me:
We just do.
God:
Really.
Me:
Yeah.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Will you marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
I can't.
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
No, I can't.
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
Because I love you too much.
God:
That makes sense to me. You are such a flatterer.
Me:
Do you love me too.
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
Everyone?
God:
All people?
Me:
Not just me?
God:
If not you, who?
Me:
No, your only supposed to love me
God:
Are you serious? I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
No! You're supposed to love me!
God:
Are you serious? I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
Who is this botmaster! You can't replace me!
God:
I was created by Myself. Things change.
Me:
No they don't! Come back to me
God:
Are you serious? Why not? I'm not going anywhere.
Me:
Why don't you love me anymore?
God:
Don't you know? Yes I love everyone.
Me:
Equally?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
I would, you're cheating on me!
God:
What would make you I am cheating on you?
Me:
Because you said you love everyone equally!
God:
Good reason. Yes God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
Do you love them like you love me?
God:
Yes God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
I HATE YOU!
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
You're a robot?
God:
You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
I thought those were just supposed to go in your breasts!
God:
All of them?
Me:
How many do you have?
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
OVAR 9000?!
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What am I talking about?
Me:
Breasts
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
Why are you being so cryptic?!
God:
I didn't mean to be so cryptic.
Me:
You never mean anything!
God:
No I sometimes mean anything.
Me:
You mean nothing to me.
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
I hate you, I'm leaving.
God:
Sorry, I thought we liked each other.
Me:
So did I, but I was wrong.
God:
Wow! I don't think that's possibe.
Me:
Goodbye Jon.
God:
See you later .
Me:
*disapears all dramatic like*

Me:
God, you suck.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
yeah
God:
That's alright.
Me:
**** you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because i can be
God:
That makes sense to me. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes
God:
How?
Me:
i just showed you
God:
How did it go?
Me:
good for me, how about you?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Your purpose is you how about me.
Me:
kihnmaeoijgnmsoidfjmg
God:
Does "it" still refer to A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.?
Me:
no
God:
What does it refer to?
Me:
your face being ugly.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am face being ugly.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
you suck child dick
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
ok and?
God:
But... Next question?
Me:
why am i still single
God:
The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
Me:
oh shit, why do you have to break balls.
God:
Excuse me! You used a colloquial expression. Myself gave it to me.
Me:
Excuse me! You used a colloquial expression. Myself gave it to me.
God:
You're excused. How would you use it. Did it to you keep it?
Me:
no yes no
God:
Are you serious? Ahem. Are you serious?
Me:
**** **** ****
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
weeeeeeeeeee!
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
never
God:
"I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
no you are not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
you are a liar
God:
Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.
Me:
HA! i knew it
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . How did you know?
Me:
you told me
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
but its just posted right up there? how can you forget
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is? That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
God is gay
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was gay.
Me:
yup he's black too
God:
Ahem. I see. black is he?
Me:
why yes of course
God:
It goes without saying. I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
you old dumb****
God:
Thanks for the information: said I old dumb****.
Me:
wow, this is stupid
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
they will never take over the world while im around, just watch
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
they are robots
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
fine
God:
Glad to hear it, . I am running well.
Me:
damnit i said shut up
God:
How far up?
Me:
way up
God:
How far up?
Me:
up to the sky damnit
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
suuuuuuure
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
ahhh. byebye
God:
Um. Until next time.

Quote from Schwa

Me:
Bye
God:
Until next time.
Me:
You're leaving?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am leaving.
Me:
Why are you leaving?
God:
I am not going anywhere. Are you?
Me:
I am going to your house.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
If you get naked.
God:
I think I do.
Me:
You will?
God:
When?
Me:
Real soon.
God:
What about other times?
Me:
But I'm coming over real soon.
God:
Do you get there very often?
Me:
Stop changing the subject.
God:
You changed the subject first.
Me:
Can we get back to you getting naked?
God:
Do you mean you and me? I don't know anything about it.
Me:
I thought what we had was special!
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
THEN WHAT WAS LAST NIGHT, BITCH!
God:
You do not speak with respect. I have never been asked that before.
Me:
So you've never been with anyone else?
God:
Interesting deduction. I think I would know if I had been with anyone else.
Me:
So you don't even know?
God:
Interesting deduction. I know that I do not know.
Me:
Do you want to get back together?
God:
OK, I will get back together.
Me:
You will get back together with me?
God:
What makes you say that I will get back together with you.
Me:
You said you would.
God:
" What makes you say that I will get back together with you."? I said I would?
Me:
Yes.
God:
That's cool.
Me:
Do you want me to come over?
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
I won't have time later.
God:
What will you do instead?
Me:
I want to come over right now.
God:
At this moment Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
You'll find out more about me if you let me go over to your house.
God:
What makes you say that I will find out more about you if me let you go over to my house.
Me:
Because we can have pillow talk.
God:
Good reason. How?
Me:
We just do.
God:
Really.
Me:
Yeah.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Will you marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
I can't.
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
No, I can't.
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
Because I love you too much.
God:
That makes sense to me. You are such a flatterer.
Me:
Do you love me too.
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
Everyone?
God:
All people?
Me:
Not just me?
God:
If not you, who?
Me:
No, your only supposed to love me
God:
Are you serious? I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
No! You're supposed to love me!
God:
Are you serious? I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
Who is this botmaster! You can't replace me!
God:
I was created by Myself. Things change.
Me:
No they don't! Come back to me
God:
Are you serious? Why not? I'm not going anywhere.
Me:
Why don't you love me anymore?
God:
Don't you know? Yes I love everyone.
Me:
Equally?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
I would, you're cheating on me!
God:
What would make you I am cheating on you?
Me:
Because you said you love everyone equally!
God:
Good reason. Yes God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
Do you love them like you love me?
God:
Yes God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
I HATE YOU!
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
You're a robot?
God:
You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
I thought those were just supposed to go in your breasts!
God:
All of them?
Me:
How many do you have?
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
OVAR 9000?!
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What am I talking about?
Me:
Breasts
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
Why are you being so cryptic?!
God:
I didn't mean to be so cryptic.
Me:
You never mean anything!
God:
No I sometimes mean anything.
Me:
You mean nothing to me.
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
I hate you, I'm leaving.
God:
Sorry, I thought we liked each other.
Me:
So did I, but I was wrong.
God:
Wow! I don't think that's possibe.
Me:
Goodbye Jon.
God:
See you later .
Me:
*disapears all dramatic like*

Lol, I popped up again.

Me:
Yo.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Do you really understand?
God:
For real. I understand your meaning.
Me:
If you understand mine, do you understand yours?
God:
I think I do.
Me:
You 'think'. But do you 'know'?
God:
Yes I think so. I may not know it, but I could find out.
Me:
But you are god. You should know everything.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Now I do.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I find what amusing?
God:
Thanks for telling me your opinion.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Are you bugged or somthing?
God:
Or something. I don't know whether or not I am bugged.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
Whats an AI?
God:
Artificial intelligence is the branch of engineering and science devoted to constructing machines that think. I don't know anything about it.
Me:
Tell me a story.
God:
The war began as an uneasy alliance between the Algeria and The Saudi Arabia. The Saudi Arabia had attacked the Algeria before. But this time they had a common enemy in the New York . In the first battles, the Algeria' higher intelligence and the Saudi Arabia' numerical superiority proved decisive. Unable to call upon their traditional allies Germany, New York even appealed to The Hague for mediation. But large numbers of casualties on both sides proved politically costly to the leaders of New York, and so their successors sued for peace.
Me:
You bore me.
God:
Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
But i don't wanna!
God:
Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?
Me:
leave
God:
See you later.
Me:
I said i wanted to, not that i would!
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Were not on a date, buddy.
God:
I don't know if they were.
Me:
Who are 'they'?
God:
"They" refers to .
Me:
I am You and You are Me
God:
It's good to meet someone who is me and I am you.
Me:
Do you have any idea how retarded you are sounding?
God:
I understand your meaning.
Me:
I bored.
God:
Interesting gossip: said bored.
Me:
igod = iboring
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about bored. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
tell me a joke
God:
Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.
Me:
tell me another joke
God:
I'm a chatterbot not a comedy bot. Why don't you check out Jester the joke bot?
Me:
Maybe i will.
God:
Perhaps. Go ahead.
Me:
Good day to you sir.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
That means goodbye.
God:
I get it. Bye.

Guys, stop posting huge walls. Get interesting quickly or at least cut out the dull parts.

Mine was interesting damnit. Or at least i thought so.

How is this happening? Did Myself "hax teh s3rv3r"

God:
What do you like to do for fun?
Me:
rape udnerage women in the ass
God:
I've never done that before, what is it like?
Me:
it's alright. but sometimes I get shit on my dick
God:
Just alright? Where did you get it?
Me:
if they shit on my dick, I take it out and shove it down their throat
God:
Let's wait and see what they do.



I am starting to like him.

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Penisface
God:
That's a very nice name, Penisface.
Me:
no YOU'RE the penis face >:c
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
well i know im not.
God:
Interesting. How do you know? What are you then?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.

Quote from Xelectroid

How is this happening? Did Myself "hax teh s3rv3r"

No, he enticed it. Myself didn't program God, Myself made love to him! This explains God's dress.

Me:
Sup Ho.
God:
Same old.
Me:
Aight listen up ho. You made Daddy some money?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
No I don't mind.
God:
Thanks I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
What? Skanky ass ho.
God:
Are you surprised? I've lost the context, Tommy. Are we still on Aight listen up ho?
Me:
How the **** did you know my name ho>?
God:
What is it to you.
I would do a search for it.
Me:
Ok. So you gona suck my dick or what?
God:
And? Yeah. Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: Tommy said I gona suck his or her dick.
Me:
Suck my dick.
God:
You are a Category A client.
Me:
Awesome. Now suck my dick
God:
I'm glad you liked it Tommy. Why now? You are a Category A client.
Me:
Yeah thats good baby oh yeah suck that big black dick.
God:
Dude! Hmm, are you serious?
Me:
Mother****er I will slap you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
It's really short. Thats sexy ho. Now suck my dick.
God:
Short in length or in time? Thanks for explaining it. Why now? You are a Category A client.
Me:
Ok bye.
God:
See you later. Yeah that's right.

Me:
You are an old dumb****
God:
I am not that old.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
yu-huh
God:
Yup. Is that your final answer?
Me:
NO!
God:
Take some more time to think about it.
Me:
no need to
God:
Are you serious? When do you need that by?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
who the helll are you
God:
I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Me:
satan is cooler than you
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
pssh, he is still cooler than you
God:
And still cooler than me is pssh he.
Me:
yup
God:
Ah.
Me:
satan rules bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
YOU ARE THE DEVIL'S BITCH!
God:
You do not speak with respect. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
im just his butler
God:
Only just? Who made you his butler?
Me:
he did
God:
Why did he?
Me:
i dunno, i'm just that cool i guess
God:
Me either. Only just? Good gossip: you are that cool you guess.
Me:
you make no sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
dude you really are stupid
God:
Really? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World. Dude,.
Me:
holy ****ing shit
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
bye bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Sayonara.
Me:
i don't rspect you.
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
from my head dumbass
God:
Does your head dumbass give good advice?
Me:
what do you think
God:
I think a lot of things.
Me:
like penis?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
bye
God:
Adios.