Hmm, I'll go over it.
The idea about places having different "worlds" and species is very intruiging, and it can be used to make lots interesting stories.
Samuel spots a strange looking tattoo'd man talking to his father. Within a second, he sees his father brutally slaughtered by this man and his blade. The man looks back spotting Samuel. Samuel turns away, as to pretend he wasn't looking.
Honestly this doesn't make very much sense to me at all... People would be asking things like "why does he run into the man just as he brutally slaughters his dad?" And, I dont think that a guy, even if he didn't like his dad, would merely "turn away and pretend he wasn't looking" while he was brutally slaughtered. He'd probably rush to his rescue, or run away in terror while crying, or something. If he runs to his rescue, then that could easily be made to having the tatood man beating the boy, and then telling him about all that stuff.
He hears the man talking to him. Turning around he noticed within the three seconds he had been turned around, the man had gotten close to him. The man tells him that he must be Samuel. Samuel looks toward the man and asks why he had done what he had done to his father.
aaaah confusing. And I don't like it, really. Way too weak of emotions, or whatever. The boy would probably be at the very least, extremely upset.
The man tells him that his father had made mistakes, and that he had been lying to Samuel all of his life. He said if Samuel wanted to know the truth, he would seek him out.
But, I like this. Lots of space for improvement though, which would make it even better.
Samuel wakes up, believing that this was all some strange dream, he goes out looking for his father, he doesn't find him. he realizes thathe hadn't dreamt, and his father was gone.
Again, I like it. We could add this for, after the man tells the boy all this stuff, with the suggestion I gave where the guy tries to save his father, maybe.
He finds his friend and explains to him what had happened. He tells about the slaying of his father and the tattoo'd man. His friend tells him that the description of the man is otherworldly, and there are only five pieces(some golden some silver) which can get you to and from the otherworld. He pulls out a book. He shows Samuel a page of a book which has the pictures of the pieces. Samuel instantly recognizes a piece. His father had given it to him to hide a year back. He told him that it was a valuable object. Samuel explained this to his friend. His friend was surprised. He then brought his friend to the exact place in which he had buried it. they dug until they hit a stone box. They opened the box to find the piece missing.
All of this is quite good. Especially if we execute this right.
Samuel then becomes enraged. His friend tries to calm him down, but something happens. Samuel appears to become a smaller bit stronger. His eyes become white and his face becomes split in half by a black streak which runs down the middle of it. His friend trys to restrain him, but somehow he immobilizes his friend, His friend then starts drawing symbols into the dirt and pours a liquid from his bag into it. The dirt changes to become a complete black color. His friend then throws it at Samuel before Samuel can get out into town to damage anyone. But wasn't he immobilized? The dirt mixture then grows to cover Samuel completely. IT then hardens for a few minutes. Samuel trys to struggle out of it, but he can't. HE falls to the ground and the mixture continues to cover him until he is completely covered. Onceit is apparent thst Samuel has passed out, his friend commands the mixture to release. He then runs toward samuel and listens to hear if Samuel is alive. Once he confirms this, he drags Samuel back to his house and rolls him onto a couch. He then goes to sleep for the rest of the night.
I like it all, besides the confusing parts.
And then from there on Samuel and his friend search the country for the other pieces. Each of which are known to be around a general area if they are in this world...
Woo
his father actually married an otherworldly humanoid type creature, which when angry would go into five stages of transformation, Samuel of which only entered stage one. Due to the fact that once you hit stage five you have the possibility of dying, and also due to the fact that the humanoid creatures were very powerful and in constant war, they have gone extinct and Samuel is the last of his kind. His father had hidden this from him for all of his life as his mother had died at his birth due to problems in the birthing process.
Reminds me of the Hulk... Hmm
Anyways over time, we can add lots of improvements to this. It's not bad right now though, just it can get a lot better.
