I've been looking over my life experiences...
I've come to the conclusion that I am socially retarded.
I've never had group of friends larger than 6 or something
Every time I try to get a phone number from a girl I don't even get shot down; They simply ignore me (except for once)
I'm terrible at keeping conversation
Terrible at comforting people when they're depressed
I'm completely incapable of defending myself against this stupid ****ing Mexican kid, although I did give him a swift kick in the side (Which got me suspended and pummeled into the dirt)
I always fail at public presentations
And I've never had any kind of relationship with a member of the opposite sex. I almost did with one girl, but my lack of conversation skills kind of killed any chance of that.

Suffice to say, I need help to combat this social awkwardness.

Join some sort of club?

I think you're overeating to the situation. But anyway, if you do want to improve, I have some advice, I was in the same situation last year.

The main thing that spurred me to move on in life, was that my dad sat me down and gave me a whole lecture on being a winner. I know you may not have this, but try to motivate yourself.
Another thing that can get you good social standing is playing a sport. This got me a group of about 15 friends, and there lots of comradeship. Don't feel embarrassed when playing sports if you muck up, or don't be afraid to shout, because that make you stand out.
Take a look at the circle of friend you most hang around with. Do you like them? If so stay with them, just become good companions with the rest of the people in your class, join in their conversations, smile a lot and be happy.
Don't be afraid or embarrassed of success. There may be a group of people that may sneer at you if you do well. Take that as fuel and do better. DO not stoop to their level.
For the people you don't like, find other people who don't like them ans console with them. Never snitch. If you want to learn martial arts, go ahead, if not learn to diffuse situations with basic flattering and making them realise what they're doing has consequences.
DO nice things also for the people that don't like you. This may be hard at first, but be nice to them, and they might start to be nicer to you.
Don't worry about girls yet imo, and don't try too hard with them. Act kind and treat them as if friends, this may encourage them to like you more, and will give you a better chance to "go out with them".

These are just a few of my personal experiences. Hope they help.

Quote from ScatMan

I've been looking over my life experiences...
I've come to the conclusion that I am socially retarded.
I've never had group of friends larger than 6 or something
That's fine really, unless you want more friends. I prefer to have a close group of really tight friends then a ****load of people that I can't really count on.
Every time I try to get a phone number from a girl I don't even get shot down; They simply ignore me (except for once)
maybe it's the way you ask it man, like if you sound too unsure of yourself when you ask.
I'm terrible at keeping conversation
ugh, feel you here man. I'm pretty much the same way, I'm ****ing horrible at small talk and that leads to hell of a lot of awkward silence right? Well best way to get over that is to just go and force yourself to talk, keep on doing it and doing it (yes it will suck ass for most of the beginning) until you start to learn and it'll become more natural. or you can work on your commenting skills, like someone says something and you ask questions and thus furthering the conversation and maybe leading you to talk about a similar experience or some shit like that.
Terrible at comforting people when they're depressed
try and put yourself in their shoes man and see how you would want to be treated. either that or just say a shitload of cliches
I'm completely incapable of defending myself against this stupid ****ing Mexican kid, although I did give him a swift kick in the side (Which got me suspended and pummeled into the dirt)
is he more of a physical or does he just talk a lot of shit
I always fail at public presentations
the attitude that usually helped me with presentations is "alright whatever", like don't care who you are presenting to or what about. and more importantly, what they think of you when you are presenting. I had a mad public speaking fear and that helped me.
And I've never had any kind of relationship with a member of the opposite sex. I almost did with one girl, but my lack of conversation skills kind of killed any chance of that.
hmm. have you tried the same sex? HA. no but really just keep on trying man, gonna happen sooner or later
Suffice to say, I need help to combat this social awkwardness.

i tried man i tried.

Pretty much all of those applied to me a few years ago, some I grew out of but some like having a small group of friends I still have, since the small groups includes girls and such, it covers most of the shyness/conversational stuff. I know loads of people but there's only 3/4 I hang around with in evenings/smaller groups. For relationships/girls, don't go head first and unless you're in a position that it will last, chances are all you're really doing is setting yourself up for a metaphorical kick in the balls anyway. English might have gone to shit in the post, can't really tell.

A group of 6 really good friends is perfect. Don't see the problem.

And for girls, try to get to know them as friends before you get serious. Take it slow.

Quote from Cosmo

i tried man i tried.

The Mexican dude is both physical and talks shit.
With the friends thing, those six people were: A ginger midget, a kid with ADHD who though he could buy the Halo franchise with a game he made called Red Strike, another kid with ADHD who obsessed over trees and traffic cones, one actually intelligent person who knew what the **** the internet was, a slightly chubby chick who called me here "Bestest Buddy" and a weird gangly kid who made redneck jokes.

We were a strange group, indeed.

Ya, I have like a group of 6-7 really close friends who I spend all my time with, and probably 20 some other guys who I barely even know and don't do much with. 6-7 friends is much better than having 20 some friends.
For the girl problem, what you probably need is experience. If you ever meet a girl, instead of playing the role of "the guy who likes her," just be friends with her and get used to hanging out with a girl. It helps a lot for your conversations for whatever future girlfriends you might get.
I dunno what to say about the conversation problems and all the rest of the stuff, but starting small and working with the experience you get is a good path to take.

Conversation wise... you need to listen to what she says.
Hopefully during the conversation you hear something that takes your interest.
When this happens ask her a question about it.
Honestly, women love to talk but some are conscious about how much they talk.. so as long as you show that you are interested in hearing more they will continue and will be more comfortable with you.
Most conversations you will have with women you don't know are probably going to be more listening than you actually talking. Unless you are a guy who likes taking the reins and talking up a storm which it doesn't sound like you are.

How old are you Scatman?

Rule #1: Stop it.

You have now completed: Social Rehabilitation 101

Where do you live I'll put the fear of god into that mexican kid lol

Whats this? Mexican kid?

If he lives within 50km of me I'll do something, otherwise, l2fightan.

Also how old are you.

Where do you live Myself I could probably take you 120 KM instead of your initial 60.