And here I am, graduating high school in like two months D:
...anyways.. I really enjoyed both of your writing, great job! I really loved that calming tone in Cham's writing style, and also loved Duelist's description of the battle. Correct me if I am wrong, but I voted for ChamelNeon becuase his piece seemed to be written with more consideration and effort; Duelist, your formatting makes me harder to concentrate in your writing despite the well-woven story, and as a reader, this can be one of the factors that can repel them from reading your battle. Please have that in mind next time you write - good work nonetheless XD
Oh, yeah, and another advice: DO NOT USE SCRIPT-LIKE FORMAT IN YOUR STORY!!
This is not just for Duelist but also for some of you out there who are or was. You are not here to write a script for a play or a muscial, therefore it is inappropriate to put the character's name in front of his/her dialogue. For example,
Pluto: Hey, don't use me as an example! Use Cath!
Cathory: I am a little busy here.
If I have to bear reading that kind of style in the battle like this, I will rage at you! RAWR! I don't care if you put it there because it is his/her thought. Single quotation marks, italics, or even a dash(-) in front will suffice. Your choice. But I remind you again; you are not a script writer here. If you want to write a story, please stick to its most basic rules at least. Have some respect for it - unless you intend to write an actual script of your battle.
...I raged on, didn't I? Sorry for terrorizing the battle thread >.>
