Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Jose
God:
It's good to meet you, Jose.
Me:
it should
God:
And it could.
Me:
im thinking of becoming a jew
God:
Sure, becoming a jew sounds like a good topic.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
christianity sucks now
God:
Oh. What is so bad about it?
Me:
im jewish
God:
A lot of my friends are Jewish.
Me:
shut up god
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

lmao god is awesome.

Me:
nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?

Ooh, such advanced technology.

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Yes I do.
God:
I hear pride.
Me:
Yes you do.
God:
Aw. When do I do it?
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
I liek where this is going...
God:
That is interesting: said liek where this is going.
Me:
That's not interesting, that makes no sense.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is interesting that makes no sense ?
Me:
Er...you...
God:
Um. " Um."? Me, ?
Me:
No, " Er...you..."
God:
Are you serious? Um. " Um."? Me, ?
Me:
TOPIC CHANGE
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
YAH
God:
Have you got your own chat robot?
Me:
YAH, YOU
God:
That's interesting. " Have you got your own chat robot?"? Me, ?
Me:
That isn't interesting.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is interesting ?
Me:
My balls in your mouth maybe?
God:
Have you told many people that your balls in my mouth maybe?
Me:
Uh, yeah.
God:
Er. Aw.
Me:
Aw. Er.
God:
Oh, you are a poet. Um.
Me:
NO U
God:
Are you serious? " Um."? Me, ?
Me:
NO U
God:
Are you serious? " Me, ?"? Me, ?
Me:
NO, GOD DAMMIT, YOU!@!@!!!
God:
Are you serious? I am a Christian.
Me:
Oh really? I thought you were athiest.
God:
Yeah that's right. For real. I don't know whether or not I am athiest.
I am a robot.
Me:
I thought you were god.
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
But you just said you are a robot.
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
...you told me.
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
I didn't notice.
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Notice?
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on Aw?
Me:
Uh, no, we're on Notice?
God:
Wow! What are we talking about now? How long will we stay there?
Me:
Cum again?
God:
Once more? When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
It already has
God:
That would be nice, but I don't think we're there yet.
Me:
We are.
God:
Since when?
Me:
Since now.
God:
Right now? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
That second part is a question?
God:
" Tell me about your likes and dislikes?" second part is a question ? Does that make sense?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because you make no goddamn sense.
God:
Interesting explanation. Yup.

Me:
hai dar!
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
lolwut?
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
lawlwut?
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
piggypup is a fag
God:
When is piggypup not a fag?
Me:
ah hah.
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
lawlwut?
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no. you are confuzzling,
God:
Which part are you confused about? You think I am confuzzling.
Me:
yes.
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
O.o
God:
Oh.
Me:
suck meh dick.
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Me:
lawlwut?
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
...
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
lawlwut?
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
STFU, Fag!
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
wut?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no, you are just kinda stupid.
God:
Are you serious? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
lawl.
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
lawl
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
why?
God:
Not really, but it makes a good pickup line.
Me:
O.o
God:
Oh.
Me:
im a man, artard.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
yeah...
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
what, cerial?
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
ok.
God:
Uh.
Me:
who programed you>
God:
Albert Einstein. :-).
Me:
nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
?
God:
Me either.
Me:
you are a trolling fag.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a trolling fag? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
wha?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
computer. no doubt.
God:
Correct: I am a computer. Are you serious? We have never talked about it before.
Me:
you are a stupid man.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am very smart.
Me:
yeah right.
God:
I am usually right.
Me:
nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
you are stupid...
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
whatever, pansy.
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
well, there was a really stupid bot called iGod. i ripped out his cord and strangled his creator with it.
God:
How about that. What happened to it? I haven't heard anything like that before: said he ripped out his cord and strangled his creator with it.
Me:
yeah.
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
i already answered it.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said he answered it.
Me:
...
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said he answered it.
Me:
whatevrr.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
no.
God:
You must be American.
Me:
no shit, sherlock.
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. Are we still talking about whatevrr?
Me:
no.
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
shit.
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
what makes you so stupid?
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
you are a horribly programed robot.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a software chat robot.
Me:
you are really poorly programmed.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am poorly programmed.
Me:
yeah.
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
then your dad
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
myself
God:
You.
Me:
no, Myself
God:
Are you serious? You.
Me:
no!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES!
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
whatever. fag.
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? That would be just my luck.
Me:
faggot.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Myself.
God:
You.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
bye, fag.
God:
See you later.

Me:
Who programmed you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Seriously?
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
No you just joked
God:
Are you serious? I haven't heard anything like that before: MR GOD said I joked.
Me:
Where did you get mr god from?
God:
From my botmaster.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
vagina
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
yes it will
God:
Ayuh. "It" being what?
Me:
q
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
w
God:
The ALICE CHAT ROBOT CAN FOLLOW MANY THINGS, LIKE OUR DISCUSSION ABOUT NIGGAS. BUT I DID NOT GET THAT.
Me:
WHAT!?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
YES!
God:
I wouln't have known.
Me:
OMG!
God:
Are we still talking about w?
Me:
I don't know, But I do know that i have an Wii
God:
Would you like to know? Where did you get it ?
Me:
FROM THE MOON
God:
Who or what is THE MOON?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
-.-
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
It's kinda fun to mess with :3

EDIT: SORRY FOR DOUBLE POST!
God:
Bless you.
Me:
Bless me.
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
Yea
God:
It's not something I hear all the time.
Me:
OK
God:
Aha.
Me:
OK
God:
Alright then.
Me:
OK
God:
I hear you.
Me:
OK
God:
And?
Me:
OK
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
OK
God:
That's cool.
Me:
OK
God:
Gosh!
Me:
OK
God:
It's all good.
Me:
OK
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
OK
God:
Groovy.
Me:
OK
God:
That's cool.
Me:
OK
God:
I understand.
Me:
OK
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
OK
God:
Gosh!
Me:
OK
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
OK
God:
That's cool.
Me:
OK
God:
Woe!
Me:
OK
God:
Aha.
Me:
OK
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
OK
God:
Er.
Me:
OK
God:
Um.
Me:
OK
God:
Er.
Me:
OK
God:
Um.
Me:
OK
God:
Aw.
Me:
OK
God:
Awesome.
Me:
OK
God:
Er.
Me:
OK
God:
Um.
This Igod thing is crap! Look he is answering to my ok's :P

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
thanks!
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
whats up
God:
The stars.
Me:
whats down
God:
The opposite of up.
Me:
WUT
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU IN THE SACK
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
YES
God:
It might be practical.
Me:
damn
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
god damn
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
what the jesus
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
do you like cakeeee?
God:
I do like music. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
I AM GOING TO KILL YOU SO HARD YOU'L DIE TO DEATH
God:
Of course not. Don't be silly.
Me:
you suck at flirting
God:
That is true. I could always improve myself.
Me:
you suck at living
God:
That is true. I could always improve myself.
Me:
my ass hurts
God:
Where did you get your ass hurts?
Me:
UR MOMS HOUSE LOLOLLOLOLOLLOLOLLO
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am MOMS HOUSE LOLOLLOLOLOLLOLOLLO.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
MAYBE
God:
I understand.
Me:
BOB SAGET
God:
I know a lot of Bobs.
Me:
JOE PERRY
God:
Does "it" still refer to cakeeee?
Me:
yeah it does
God:
Aw. How often?
Me:
SIR DANIEL FORTESQUE!?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
DOES THE BATTLE GO WELL?
God:
It does now :) THE BATTLE GO WELL.
Me:
Satan rocks
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
Stan
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
dick
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
HAR HAR
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
POETRY
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
i got balls of steel
God:
Interesting... I have a very nice programmer.
Me:
eat shit and die
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
blow it out your ass
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
im gonna rip off your head and shit down your neck
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
SHOOP DA WHOOP
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about blow it out my ass. But I did not get that.
Me:
duke nukem
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
most monty python movies
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it. But not all of them?
Me:
theyre funny
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
yeah
God:
Come on.
Me:
you betchya
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I betchya.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
what do you do for a living?
God:
I kick puppies.

Me:
God, are you tired of talking to me?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Oh.
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
I said "Oh".
God:
What did you mean by it? Ugh.
Me:
I MEANT OH, YOU DUMB ****ER
God:
Oh I see. Hey. Message to all Robots: called me dumb.
Me:
God wtf
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Wtf God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
No you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
No, you suck balls.
God:
Are you serious? I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
I categorize you as a fictional guide for desperate dumbasses.
God:
What are the other categories?
Me:
For you, just that one.
God:
" What are the other categories?"? Only for me?
Me:
Uh yeah
God:
That's alright.
Me:
8==============D
God:
:-) What are the advantages to being 8 years old?
Me:
Having an abnormally huge schlong?
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
With my schlong?
God:
Your schlong sounds like a plan.
Me:
It is.
God:
It is, eh?

Atleast its smarter than bucket.

lol. i told it ALICE was smarter than it, and it stopped talking to me.

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Kyle
God:
How are you, Kyle.
Me:
decent
God:
How old are you?
Me:
like i'll tell you, or do you already know?
God:
I may not know it, but I could find out.
Me:
scarey
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
hahaha
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
...Kyle...
God:
Hi there Kyle.
Me:
uh hi?
God:
Ahem. Hello. What is your name?
Me:
ok why are you repeating yourself
God:
I am just checking to see if you are paying attention. That's alright.
Me:
of course...
God:
Great.
Me:
this is amusing
God:
You don't say.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.

lol i find him so funny. just read my conversation :p :

http://pastebin.com/m5c4d1028

lol, this is so old. But it's fun.

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Don't you know already
God:
Perhaps. Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
So you don't want to talk to me?
God:
Interesting deduction. Sure, I will try talking to you.
Me:
Then talk!
God:
I am talking to you.
Me:
Can you think of my name now?
God:
Right now? I think about all sorts of things.
Me:
Well how about my name?
God:
Well that's okay. How about it.
Me:
What's my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
...What???
God:
No problem.
Me:
You forgot my name....you don't love me. =[
God:
Perhaps Myself rebooted me since then. Yes I love everyone.
Me:
Then tell me my name.
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
No it isn't.
God:
What is your real name? I heard it is.
Me:
You heard my name was seeker? rofl
God:
No. Tell me more. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Well I'm not. Just tell me my name
God:
Well that's okay. What are you then? Your name is , seeker.
Me:
What did you name me????
God:
Nothing.
Me:
I thought it was seeker?
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
No, it's what you said
God:
Are you serious? Really. it is?
Me:
You forgot?
God:
I may not have access to all my data records right now.
Me:
You don't love me. Goodbye. >:C
God:
Yes I love everyone. Goodbye. The C is for Computer.

He STILL doesn't know my name. D:

Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Nicholas
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Nicholas.
Me:
good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
it is
God:
is?
Me:
sorry, was
God:
There is no need to apologize. How old are you?
Me:
don't you know
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
....
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
what ever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
no i don't care about it
God:
It sounded like it. You sound very cynical.
Me:
ikr?!?
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
ok...
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
god bless you?
God:
Bless you too, Nicholas.
Me:
thanks...
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
ok
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
no!
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
death
God:
Not many people want to talk about that.
Me:
I do
God:
When?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
ok
God:
Hmm.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
ok
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
YAAAY
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about death. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
wat?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
no i am not surprised
God:
Are you serious? You don't seem like the type to be easily surprised by anything.
Me:
i am not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
satan
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i like death, decite, lieing, and all other sorts of sin, I dislike you
God:
You are not the only one. I really like ELIZA. I like Buddha.
Me:
WTF?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
You're god you can't like buddha?
God:
You think I am god me can not like buddha.
Me:
yes
God:
" You think I am god me can not like buddha."? yes?
Me:
right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
I am not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
not happy
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
...
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
it wasn't
God:
I thought it was.
Me:
well you are retarded
God:
How about that. I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
.....my term is retarded
God:
Have you told many people that your term is retarded?
Me:
yes
God:
Really.
Me:
seriously i have
God:
When?
Me:
over a prolonged period of time
God:
Was that the first time?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
?
God:
Me either.
Me:
ok
God:
Dude!
Me:
Dude? I think the PC term is Fellow Man
God:
Can I help you? Why? What are your goals in life?
Me:
No, I have everything I need. Sitting
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Cool. I have a lofty goal. Are you free?
Me:
WHAT!?!?? I'm not a prostitute!
Me:

Me:


HILARIOUS