What do you call a black pilot?




A pilot you fecking racists >_<




A paedophile and a little girl are walking through the woods, it starts to get dark and the little girl says " I'm getting scared" to which the paedophile replies " You're scared? What about me? I have to walk back on my own!"

What do you say when there's two homes on top of you.



GET OFF ME HOMES!!!!!111!! bzzt

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told the bitch twice.


I keep having my application rejected on datingdirect.com. The question was '' what do you want in a woman?'', aparantly '' my cock'' isnt a suitable answer

Retarded Dwarfs

They're not big and they're not clever

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."

The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."

With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.

The man says, "I want two more of these."

who the hell edited mine to say wanted to make love to hilary clinton or bill?

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew.

TEH PIZZA DUN SCREAM IN TEH OVEN!

A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him. "Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name?"

"Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?"

"I'm Jim."

"Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight? I mean, right now??"

"Sure!" replies Jim, "Let's go!"

So Stacey takes Jim to her house and takes him to her room. Jim sits down on the bed and notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk. "Stacey, I noticed the picture of a man on your desk," Jim says.

"Yes? And what about it?" asks Stacey.

"Is it your brother?"

"No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles. Jim's eyes widen, suspecting that it might be Stacey's husband.

When he finally asks, "Is it your husband?"

Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" Jim was relieved.

"Then, it must be your boyfriend!"

Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!!"

"Then, who is it?" Jim asks.

Stacey replies, "That's me BEFORE my operation!!"


A guy burned both of his ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.

He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang... So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear...''

''But how the heck did you burn the other ear?'' The doctor asked.

''They called back.''

4 gay guys walk into a bar and there's only one stool, how do they sit down?

They flip the stool over.



What's the difference between a dead baby and biscuits?

Biscuits don't annoy you when you put them in the oven.


Why are blacks so fast?

All the slow ones are in jail.


What do you call a black woman on birth control?

Crime Stopper

Whats the difference between a ferrari and a dead baby?

I've never been in a Ferrari before.


lol ****ed up joke

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 5 shots of Yaeger and a beer chaser. The bartender asks "whoa, buddy. What're we celebrating?" The man replies "I just had my first blow-job".

The bartender smiles and says " well, congratulations. Let me get you another shot on the house!"

The man replies "If 5 shots of Yaeger and a beer chaser don't get the taste out of my mouth, NOTHING will".

There is a big controversy on when life actually begins. In jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.

A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in Brazil and are captured byhostile natives. The head of the tribe asks the german "what do you want on your back for your whipping?" The german says oil so thew put oil on his back, and a villager whips him 10 times. When he is finished, the german can hardly move. The Mexican is asked what he wants and he says "I will take nothing!" He takes his ten lashes without flinching. "And what will you have on your back?" They ask the American. He responds, "The Mexican."

Quote from madhatter666

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 5 shots of Yaeger and a beer chaser. The bartender asks "whoa, buddy. What're we celebrating?" The man replies "I just had my first blow-job".

The bartender smiles and says " well, congratulations. Let me get you another shot on the house!"

The man replies "If 5 shots of Yaeger and a beer chaser don't get the taste out of my mouth, NOTHING will".

I hate being the last one on the page.

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A masked man walked into a sperm bank, pulled out a gun, and told the secretary that this was a stick up and to open the safe.

The secretary replied, "You idiot, this is a sperm bank, there's no money here!!"

The masked man insisted that if she did not open the safe he would shoot her on the spot.

Reluctantly, she opened the safe and stood back. There in the open safe were two vials of sperm.

The robber pointed his gun at the two vials and ordered the secretary to drink them both or he would blow her head off.

When she had finished drinking the second vial the robber took off his mask. There stood her husband with a grin on his face!!

"See Doris", he said. "that didn't kill you, did it?!"

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Q. Why can't you find a gynecologist that will deal with a 90 year old?

A. Have you ever tried pulling apart a cheese toastie?

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4 gay guys walk into a bar and there's only one stool, how do they sit down?

They flip the stool over.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends how hard you throw them.
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Wanna hear a funny joke?

Women's rights.
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What do you do when the dishwasher is broken?

Slap the bitch and tell her to get back to work.
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What do you do when you see a black man limping around your front yard in the middle of the night?

Laugh, reload, and shoot again.
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What’s the difference between a mallard with a cold and you?

One's a sick duck, and I can't remember the rest but your mother's a whore.

whats the most confusing day in the ghetto?
fathers day!

What do you call a black lady getting a abortion?
Crime stoppers!

whens it ok to spit on a Mexican girls face?
When her mustache is on fire!

why did the woman cross the road?
A better question is why is she out of the kitchen!