Quote from Exilement

oh fuck, exilement disagrees with me, better act like a petulant little bitch instead of responding to him

Sometimes you just have to accept that there are battles you can't win

First I wan to thank you all for the support, I really needed to read some stuffs, and I needed to read an external opinion about this.

Quote from Arch-Angel

. Too much of a good thing becomes a bad thing. Since you said that you did like him, that means he honestly stood somewhat of a chance with you, but because of his desperation, you realized the kind of person he is and now you want no parts with him.

These are exactly my thoughts, you nailed it here arch. I thought he was nice, honest and a cheerful person, but when he changed his behavior so suddenly I realised that he was a really different person.

Quote from Arch-Angel

The best thing you can do is not communicate with him anymore than you need too. Honestly it might not hurt to talk to him some to keep him happy and keep him from some self loathing for fucking shit up with you, but at every opportunity you should reiterate that you guys are just "friends" and will remain just "friends". If you do decide to do this it would probably be beneficial to tell him that if he isn't play with this then you have to intentions of being friends.

I was thinking on talking to him again, and I was about to a few days ago, but when I look at his "I hate everything and everyone" face I just fall back,

Quote from Exilement

This is blatant emotional manipulation. Instead of respecting your personal time and who you choose to spend it with, he demanded your undivided attention and punished you whenever he didn't get it.

He was so nice to me that I never took any of his actions "manipulating like". In fact, it wasn't till Hewitt told me that this could be a manipulating tactic that I realized his real intentions.

Quote from Exilement

Do you have proof of this? Because I seriously doubt it's true. If he actually wanted to kill himself he wouldn't choose to do so in the slowest, most painful way possible.

This is blackmail, he's trying to control your emotions and behavior through threats of suicide and refusing to let you control your own life.

Well.... I noticed that he wasn't attending uni, so a friend of mine called him and HE said that he was in bed and that he was probably going to go to the hospital because of dehydration, which I immediately associated to the pm he sent me 2 days ago saying that he wouldn't drink or eat food.

Then I just got too nervous cus he was like... describing to me how was the pain of his body and I was feeling sorry for him.

And this is why I needed an external opinion, I don't know if he is actually trying to fool me, when Exile described his real intentions, I felt it like he was talking about other guy because he was REALLY nice and a calm person I just can't believe he changed his personality that way.

Okay, being serious now.

I thought you got over this since you never got back to me on it. Still, it's nice that you finally made a thread about it so everyone can contribute to giving advice on your plight.

Quote from Mecha-Hewitt

Okay, being serious now.

I thought you got over this since you never got back to me on it. Still, it's nice that you finally made a thread about it so everyone can contribute to giving advice on your plight.

I haven't got over it. I still feel weird with him looking at me creepy-ly everyday and everytime I get in the classroom. I feel like he's always somehow looking at me or something.

I had a similar problem.

I dated this girl that was obsessed with me, and i mean, i liked her. She was a writer and very intelligent, but she had her own problems with suicidal tendencies. And day five of us dating she started fantasizing over how we would get an appartment together and have sex all the time. That freaked me out a bit, but what really scared me is when this happened:

I decided to go to the library to read up on a psychology book i was interested in, and while i was there i texted her. It went something like this.

Her: Whatchya doin
Me: Reading at the library
Her: Which one?
Me: (says location)
Her: Haha, i should walk over and see you
Me: Haha, itd be cool if you could (playingly) (she lives ten miles away)
Her: Ill be there in 2 hours or so
Me: Wait, what? You're serious?
Her: See you soon my love ;)
Me: Uh...ok?

She walked ten miles in the storming weather to see me. It was day six of our relationship. Then afterwords she started making (very well written though....) Sex scene writings of us in our appartment. At that point i knew she was extremely obsessive and that i would have to end it soon. But I had a few problems.

1) The day after I had sex with her (yeah...im a dick like that) she wouldnt shut up about how I was the only reason she didnt kill herself. That her life in america with a cell phone and internet and a roof over her head was so terrible and that nobody loved her but me. I got fed up with it real fast, but I really didnt want to have someones suicide on my hands, and this time more directly than the last (Ill elaborate on that some other time.).

2) Our mutual friend was harasing me on how we need to get married. This mutual friend has an obsesion with setting people up and intervening with relationships, and i knew that if i did break up with this girl, the mutual friend would flip a shit and tell EVERYONE. Shes a gossiping bitch like that.

How did i fix this problem? I called the girl I was dating, gave her a suicide hotline, and broke up with her. Then, I called the mutual friend and straight up said "Yes, Im an asshole and banged your friend in the first week we dated. Be nice to her and make sure she's ok and that she knows you care. I see anything on facebook about this, I will sue you for harasment." (obviously not true, but shes an idiot). Then finally, i stopped socializing with that group entirely and cut all ties.

Worked like a charm.


So my advice to you is to end ALL connections to him. File a restraining order if possible (not sure what country you're in so im not sure if thats an option.) Kill it entirely, he is obsessive and unstable and any more interactions with him will only hurt him more. There is nothing you can do for him at this point.

What i like is how that despite you had feelings for him, you were mature enough to know what was best for you. Alot of people dont know how to do that and get themselves in deep shit for it.

Best of luck Cami.

Quote from Exilement

Tons of shitty advice so far. People are actually empathizing with him? Holy fuck.


Camila, the guy has some kind of mental disorder.

Guess people ignore my posts.


Anyways, yeah Camilla, the less contact you have with him the better. Simply he's just not okay, regardless of how "nice" he seems.

Thats kinda her problem now...is that she sees him every day in class. And it's rivetting because no one else seems to know about how deep this thing goes.

Whatever the case, I think the best course of action is to not ignore him. As he's proven, he is not going to stop and if you continue to ignore him it might actually get worse. He might do things that are potentially dangerous to not only himself but people you know. You need to deal with this situation immediately.

Do you have a sibling? Older or younger (unless he/she's like 11 or something), its just a good idea to talk to them. Whenever you're stuck in a situation the best way to relieve the stress and pressure is to tell someone you trust. Try talking to your friends if you trust them enough to keep a secret too. And of course, you must report your whole situation to your parents and your dean/counselor. They, especially your parents, will help you, and they are more than likely to know and understand your situation better than most if not all of us here.

It needs to be reported

I was under the impression that there needs to be proof before she can report it to any kind of authority. Like, the act of abuse HAS to happen. ANd I think the dude is too smart for that so yeah. :I You should still report it anyway Cami.

No you can report someone if you believe they're a threat to themselves or others. And she can report it to the school that he's acting inappropriately.

Quote from Firefly

No you can report someone if you believe they're a threat to themselves or others. And she can report it to the school that he's acting inappropriately.

You can report whatever you like, but they wont really do anything unless theres proof. She could request to switch classes if its possible, but im not sure if you can do that at a university.

Quote from Mecha-Hewitt

I was under the impression that there needs to be proof before she can report it to any kind of authority. Like, the act of abuse HAS to happen. ANd I think the dude is too smart for that so yeah. :I You should still report it anyway Cami.

What Firefly said. The deans and counselors of universities aren't the police; they exist for situations like this, so they don't necessarily need proof depending on how serious the situation is. However, how far the deans and the counselors are willing to help can also depend on the amount of proof. However, it looks like she's received plenty of messages that she can use. Plus, she can ask her friends to testify for her for any suspicious activity.

And of course, if all else fails, you have to tell your parents.

Quote from Camila

I haven't got over it. I still feel weird with him looking at me creepy-ly everyday and everytime I get in the classroom. I feel like he's always somehow looking at me or something.

I doubt he'll try anything, he sounds like a twat and a pansy (suicide by starvation? for real?), and maybe somewhat of a mind-rapist (i invented that term just now for lack of a better description), whether it be inadvertant or not.

Remember, he's the one who's obsessed to the point of becoming disturbed. That's his problem, not yours, no matter how much he tries to blame you for it. You are not making him miserable. It is impossible for anyone to make anyone miserable. Only the individual can choose to be miserable. He has the choice to either be miserable or move on, and he's choosing to be miserable. That is his problem, and you shouldn't let him drag you in to his misery.

It becomes your problem only when you allow his misery to affect you. Again, whether or not you are affected is a choice that only you can make, but when you simply stop caring the whole issue will simply disappear.

He's trying to make you vulnerable by appealing to your pity. Once your pity disappears and you acknowledge that this is his problem to deal with, not yours, then you've basically won.

I acknowledge that this is easier said than done when emotions are in play, but it's really the simplest way forward. If you want to talk about this so that I can help you get through this, hit me up on skype. I'm always on appear offline but I'll get back to you asap, I'm pretty good with tackling this sort of thing from a new perspective.