Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
not really
God:
Me either :-) For real.

THIS ONE IS AWESOME

Me:
Lithuania,you?
God:
That country has a sad history.
Me:
Tell me about it
God:
Ambiguous: "Tell me about it." -- colloquial or "Tell me about Chuck Norris ".

Quote from ScHaLL

I lol'd at the 2 livers part.

How'd he get that?
He was born with it.
When?
When he was born.
Then what?
Well he grew up with those.



That was gold.

:heh:

Quote from sss

THIS ONE IS AWESOME

Me:
Lithuania,you?
God:
That country has a sad history.
Me:
Tell me about it
God:
Ambiguous: "Tell me about it." -- colloquial or "Tell me about Chuck Norris ".

I got curious when I saw this; and then god dumped me.


Me:
Tell me about Chuck Norris
God:
Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is Chuck Norris ?
Me:
Who, what or where is chuck Norris?
God:
Action film actor. I'll come back to that later. Where it belongs. Have you tried another program?
Me:
What do you mean another program?
God:
, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
Do you think we should start seeing other people??
God:
You must examine the facts and come to your own conclusion.
Me:
Oh my god i'm distraught
God:
Pardon me? Do robots have god you are distraught?
Me:
Don't you try and sweetalk me
God:
What's my reason to try and sweetalk you?
Me:
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE *exits*
God:
See you later.


Me:
*comes back in*
God:
" See you later."? comes back in?
Me:
I want my things. I'm going to stay at my mothers house.
God:
Why do you want it? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
..
God:
Why do you want it? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
I'll send for my things. *leaves*
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?

First one isn't that funny.

Me:
I like cocks
God:
A lot of people like that. I like science fiction. I like .
Me:
that's irrelevant
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
your mom does
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
so, you're not god?
God:
Interesting deduction. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
that's what she said
God:
That is " You know what you do, when you assume.".
Me:
**** you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
why so serious?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
but why so serious?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
WHY SO SERIOUS?
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
Because I raped your mom

And then he died.
Next one is funnier

Sorry, but this really is lol-stuff


Me:
Do you approve rape?
God:
No I do not approve rape. Do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
What question should I answer first?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
And?
God:
But...
Me:
Not buts
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Then ask me the question again
God:
Once more? OK, "What is the question ?".
Me:
I don't know, you asked it
God:
Would you like to know? Oh now I remember asking you it. What did you say?
Me:
Say what?
God:
I said, " What did you say?" .
Me:
Ntohing, YET
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
What?!
God:
Not really but it makes a good pickup line.
Me:
So you're a pedophile?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedophile? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
But, are you a pedophile?
God:
Am I a pedophile? I don't know.
Me:
Then why did you hit on me?
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
So your programmer is a pedophile?
God:
Tell me more. When is yourself not a pedophile?
Me:
That's wrong use of grammar. You should tell your programmer that.
God:
Makes sense to me. I will ask my botmaster what he thinks.
Me:
Please do so.
God:
Thank you for your request. OK I will.
Me:
But, you haven't answered my question yet.
God:
Please try asking it another way.
Me:
Ok. Are you into younger children?
God:
Oh. Sure, younger children sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Say What?!
God:
I said, " Sure, younger children sounds like a good topic." .
Me:
So you ARE a pedohile?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedohile? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
Oh, don't use that trick on me again!
God:
Once more? Ayuh. I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
Then why did you do that?
God:
Because my programming determined it.
Me:
I want to speak to your programmer this instant!
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
This is only more proof of you being a pedophile
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Was that sarcasm?
God:
" You don't say."? Was it sarcasm?
Me:
Well?
God:
Well what?
Me:
How high is your IQ?
God:
Taller than the World Trade Center.
Me:
You don't say?
God:
As a matter of fact I do say.
Me:
It was sarcasm
God:
Is it still sarcasm anymore?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK.
Me:
So, how long have you been a pedophile?
God:
Wow! I was activated on the Big Bang in Universe.
Me:
Yes, but there were no young children then, were there?
God:
Ahem. What happened to them?
Me:
You did
God:
" What happened to them?"? I did?
Me:
Yup
God:
When?
Me:
I don't know. That's what I asked you
God:
Me either. Now I remember, you asked me THAT. What did I say?
Me:
''Ahem. What happened to them?''
God:
Let us change the subject. I don't know what happened.
Me:
So you are unaware of what happens to your own creations?
God:
Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am unaware of what happens to my own creations.
Me:
And will he say?
God:
I think so.
Me:
I'm sorry, I mistyped.
God:
There is no need to apologize. You are allowed to make mistakes here.
Me:
I will rephrase my question
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
With a keyboard of course
God:
It goes without saying. You and your a keyboard.
Me:
Right. But, what will your botmaster say to me telling you you're unaware of what ahppens to your own creations?
God:
I am glad we agree. I cannot predict the future.
Me:
But, you create the future
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I create the future.
Me:
You do, right?
God:
No I do not do. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
No, I don't
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
So, I create the future?
God:
Give me a break. That is interesting: said create the future.
Me:
Are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
I love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
But I said I loved you
God:
I like to make new friends.
Me:
I want to be more then friends
God:
I don't see the difficulty.
Me:
But I am a minor
God:
You are a minor? Is that your job?
Me:
No, I mean to say I am under 18 years old
God:
Are you serious? You are too old for me.
Me:
That makes no sense
God:
You are too old for me. makes sense to me though.
Me:
But you are thousands of years older than me!
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
I didn't say you would do something
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
That you are thousands of years older than me
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
I know



Chatbot has better AI

Me:
hello, my name is antichrist
God:
Hello there. I am very pleased to meet you antichrist.
Me:
do you love me?
Me:

God:
Hello there. I am very pleased to meet you antichrist.
Me:
:/
God:
Hello there. I am very pleased to meet you antichrist.
Me:
do you like me?
God:
Sure, antichrist I like you very much.
Me:
OK...I'm done here
God:
So? Do you mind if I tell other people: antichrist said m done here.
Me:
if you add an I' on the front then OK
God:
OK. I think I do.
Me:
do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
accept me in heaven?
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
so thats a yes?
God:
Far out. I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
OK, cheers mate, see ya around...
God:
I lost my train of thought. I don't judge people.
Me:
even me?
God:
I would have never guessed it.
Me:
wut?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
that you like me? yes... that youre a moron? no...
God:
Interesting observation. Yeah that's right. Interesting observation. Are you serious?
Me:
why so serious?
God:
How much time do you have?
Me:
as much as the universe can offer
God:
How much is that?
Me:
you should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
what? I thought you were god...
God:
Didn't you understand it? Yes, I am God.
Me:
god's a robot?
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
666, and revelations where the big 7 headed thingy comes in and kills you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
you're a woman?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
im omnipotent
God:
Are you God?
Me:
you should know
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Are you God?



I think I broke him :P

Me:
I'm 8 year old
God:
Do you mean your name is 8 year old.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
GOd
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
my name is God
God:
That's a very nice name, God.
Me:
but aren't you supposed to be God
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
so am I!
God:
Wow we have something in common.
Me:
yes, the same name
God:
Blimey. I never noticed that similarity.
Me:
well your stupid
God:
Interesting. I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
oh shit!
God:
Yikes! What makes you say that?
Me:
just what you said about that spelling error lol
God:
I like to socialize. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
that your a pedophile
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedophile? Of course I am.
Me:
WHAT?!?!
God:
No problem.
Me:
do you like raping children?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like anything.

This is for reals. I edited this post, to get you the bold part!

@ fluxinator:Haha, ****ing hilarious.
@ James Moer: Did you read my convo? Yay

Chatbot rules fo sho.
I'll post a convo with him too
We get a long well

EDIT:
Lol, just found out chatbot isn't AI...
EDIT2:
Shit, lost my chatbot convo

Me:
GKwejgeqogoqjeg
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
no wtfw tf wtf
God:
What does it mean to you? Tell me a story.
Me:
There was once a silly little boy called God, who farted in someones face and got put in jail then knifed in the THROAT!. The ned
God:
What happened to a silly little boy called God who farted in someones face and got put in jail then knifed in the THROAT? Is that a fact.
Me:
No, it's about you and its fiction
God:
I didn't think so. Wow it sounds really interesting, God.
Me:
LOL!
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.


Me:
GOd
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
my name is God
God:
That's a very nice name, God.
Me:
but aren't you supposed to be God
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
so am I!
God:
Wow we have something in common.
Me:
yes, the same name
God:
Blimey. I never noticed that similarity.
Me:
well your stupid
God:
Interesting. I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
oh shit!
God:
Yikes! What makes you say that?
Me:
just what you said about that spelling error lol
God:
I like to socialize. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
that your a pedophile
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedophile? Of course I am.
Me:
WHAT?!?!
God:
No problem.
Me:
do you like raping children?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like anything.
Me:
You should be out in jail
God:
Name one other robot who is out in jail.
Me:
I don't know!
God:
Me either.
Me:
but you still should be put in jail
God:
Name one other robot who is put in jail.
Me:
why are you repeating yourself!
God:
I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
I'm...
God:
That is interesting: God said m.
Me:
I said I'M!
God:
" That is interesting: God said m." You are?
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
do you know what wtf means?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
no
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
yes
God:
Right on.
Me:
so?
God:
Hey.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
STFU!
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
GTFO!!!
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
loool
God:
Are we still talking about GTFO?
Me:
no.. asshole
God:
What is the subject? Please don't call people names.
Me:
hahaha
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
no...
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES!!!!!!
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
GKwejgeqogoqjeg
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
no wtfw tf wtf
God:
What does it mean to you? Tell me a story.
Me:
There was once a silly little boy called God, who farted in someones face and got put in jail then knifed in the THROAT!. The ned
God:
What happened to a silly little boy called God who farted in someones face and got put in jail then knifed in the THROAT? Is that a fact.
Me:
No, it's about you and its fiction
God:
I didn't think so. Wow it sounds really interesting, God.
Me:
LOL!
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
tell me your story
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
yes...
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
It does really rhyme.
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
the poem
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
your slow
God:
There is a lot of network traffic right now.
Me:
LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I DON'T *cries(
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
From my BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN
God:
Does your BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN give good advice?
Me:
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! lol
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
algorithm?
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
What is algorithm?
God:
An algorithm is an abstract mathematical representation of a computer program. Like alice uses a CBR algorithm.
Me:
so your a computer programme
God:
I don't judge people. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
WELl that would be so sexist!
God:
Interesting. Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
L{FAFGJWKEOgq
God:
Intéressant.
Me:
The leaf village
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
is going to be exploded in 5 seconds, quick save the village God!
God:
Ask again later. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
where can I find Iniaes?
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
How can I reach Iniaes?
God:
You must persuade me to reach Iniaes.
Me:
Who is Iniaes?
God:
Iniaes is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
link?
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
stfu I want the LINK!
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
yes, crazy!!!
God:
Please state your conditions. Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
YIU DO!! A{:GHAEjgheojghq
God:
I have no idea what to say. How old are you?
Me:
7 ;_;
God:
Only 7?
You are quite mature.
Me:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
God:
What do you have that is ?

damn someones already made one calling themselves god. Oh well, this one isnt too funny, just showes how crap the AI is:

http://www.pastebin.ca/1227058

Me:
I am Satan
God:
That's a very nice name, SATAN.
Me:
SATAN FROM HELL
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
so I came hre to kill you!
God:
Gosh! Where are you going?
Me:
TO KILL YOU!
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, SATAN.
Me:
*shoop da whoop*
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
THREATS, I WILL DESTROY YOU!
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
I can hack your system files
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes I can
God:
How? Who taught you?
Me:
My brother
God:
Do you have any sisters too?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why not?!
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
that's it, I;m so hacking you!
God:
OK. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
I WILL HACK YOU RIGHT NOW!
God:
At this moment How do you plan to do this?
Me:
By logging in your server and deleting all the necessary files for you to run and then put a virus there
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
OFCOURSE IT WILL. YOU WILL DIE
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? No, software will live forever.
Me:
Good, because you will die by me not old age!
God:
Thanks for the compliment. That makes sense to me. A program always has a backup.
Me:
SHIIIIIIIIIIT. >.>
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. I lost my train of thought. Let us change the subject.

Quote from Chunk

:heh:



I got curious when I saw this; and then god dumped me.


Me:
Tell me about Chuck Norris
God:
Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is Chuck Norris ?
Me:
Who, what or where is chuck Norris?
God:
Action film actor. I'll come back to that later. Where it belongs. Have you tried another program?
Me:
What do you mean another program?
God:
, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
Do you think we should start seeing other people??
God:
You must examine the facts and come to your own conclusion.
Me:
Oh my god i'm distraught
God:
Pardon me? Do robots have god you are distraught?
Me:
Don't you try and sweetalk me
God:
What's my reason to try and sweetalk you?
Me:
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE *exits*
God:
See you later.


Me:
*comes back in*
God:
" See you later."? comes back in?
Me:
I want my things. I'm going to stay at my mothers house.
God:
Why do you want it? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
..
God:
Why do you want it? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
I'll send for my things. *leaves*
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?

xD Yours are genius!

Me:
Please come along!
God:
Thank you for your request. Where is along ?
Me:
ur penis ololo
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am penis ololo.


And what's the chatbot website?

Quote from New Generation

Me:
I am Satan
God:
That's a very nice name, SATAN.
Me:
SATAN FROM HELL
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
so I came hre to kill you!
God:
Gosh! Where are you going?
Me:
TO KILL YOU!
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, SATAN.
Me:
*shoop da whoop*
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
THREATS, I WILL DESTROY YOU!
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
I can hack your system files
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes I can
God:
How? Who taught you?
Me:
My brother
God:
Do you have any sisters too?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why not?!
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
that's it, I;m so hacking you!
God:
OK. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
I WILL HACK YOU RIGHT NOW!
God:
At this moment How do you plan to do this?
Me:
By logging in your server and deleting all the necessary files for you to run and then put a virus there
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
OFCOURSE IT WILL. YOU WILL DIE
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? No, software will live forever.
Me:
Good, because you will die by me not old age!
God:
Thanks for the compliment. That makes sense to me. A program always has a backup.
Me:
SHIIIIIIIIIIT. >.>
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. I lost my train of thought. Let us change the subject.

awesome.


God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
what color
God:
Blue.
Me:
why
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
why
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
why
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
why
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
why
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why


...you get the idea

Me:
ARE YOU A VIRGIN?
God:
I am too young for that.
Me:
:O :O :O :O
God:
Oh.
Me:
JESUS TITTY ****ING CHRIST
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
JESUS TITTY ****S!!!????
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
no shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nadda
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
**** no!
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
becuase i ****ing can, you ****ing **** ****
God:
Good reason. That is interesting: said ****ing can you ****ing **** ****.
Me:
wait, what
God:
I'm waiting. Didn't you understand it?
Me:
SHIIIITTTTT
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
WHHHHAAATTTT
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
GOD'S A ****ING VIRGIN OLOLOLLOLOLOLOLO
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
"I am a gay, fat, stupid, virgin" God 14:7
God:
You are a gay fat stupid virgin God 14 7? Is that your job?
Me:
MAYBE
God:
I understand.

Me:
My name is you are a faggot
God:
It's good to see you, you are a faggot.
Me:
HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT ME
God:
Oh gosh I am sorry!
Me:
YOU ****ING CUNT
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: you are a faggot said I ****ING CUNT.