You Can Learn From Sacred's Relationship Troubles

Started by: Sacred | Replies: 486 | Views: 34,364

Exile
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May 30, 2014 11:14 PM #1200662
Quote from Boomerangreturns
Now, I have trouble getting through the mentality of women. I don't know if she is trying to hide the fact that she likes me for the sake of Girl B as well as keeping her relationship intact, or if she's leading me on at this point.


You just said right there in your explanation that she told you she used to like you, but backed off thinking you and her friend were going to get together. Why would you think she's leading you on or trying to hide something from you?

Think less about "women's mentality" and think about your own. Why don't you just tell B you're not into her and tell A you are? Seriously, just be honest with how you feel about them so everyone is on the same page and can react accordingly. Otherwise you wind up doubting and questioning everything and turning to the internet for help figuring it out.
Mage
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May 31, 2014 1:00 AM #1200678
Yeah at this point you should tell girl A your feelings for her and that you don't want to be with girl B... Don't know how it will go but I will wish you luck good sir
GrimmtheReaper
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Jun 3, 2014 3:55 AM #1201728
I agree. While I can't say I know what will happen, I can tell you it's better overall to be honest. Patience also helps in this kind of situation.
Boomerang
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Jun 3, 2014 4:03 AM #1201731
Well, I pretty much confessed my feelings and she gave me the Oh I'm so sorry, I feel so bad deal. She said the same thing. That she liked me before, but stopped liking me somewhere down the line a week or so ago and thought of us only being friends. Now, after getting this news, I was pretty eh all weekend. But then you know, I'm semi-okay by Saturday night.

Then of course, I'm looking through my news feed. I find this picture of a guy. Blonde spiked hair, shades, a face with no blemishes that I could see. He had a six pack, based on the fact that his shirt was half off, and the reason I had this was my friend on facebook commented on it. Who did? Girl A. And what did she say?

My boo.

Ouch. THE PAIIINNNN.

I pretty much went right to bed that night, and didn't even feel any better til Sunday. Sunday afternoon was when I finally had a revelation. If I can't be with this beautiful girl, who I'm not gonna say I love because that sounds so teenager-y, I'll say I have feelings for her. If I can't be with her, I will be her close friend. The one she tells everything to, and the one she hangs out with and fucks around with. And of course, I'll still sweet talk her and all of that good stuff. But you know, even if we don't get together, my feelings are strong to the point that I'm actually okay with just being close friends with her, because that's a lot closer than not speaking to her at all.
Devour
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Jun 3, 2014 4:07 AM #1201733
As long as you aren't expecting anything from it. I did what you're wanting to do once, and it's a very bad idea if you have feelings for that girl. All you're going to see is what you wish you could have, but you can't.

Also, your plan reminds me of this:

Image
Boomerang
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Jun 3, 2014 4:11 AM #1201735
The only exception, is that I did actually openly tell her my feelings and got it out in the open. I didn't take the rejection as hard as I thought I would.
Sacred
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Jun 3, 2014 6:03 AM #1201766
Remember what I said about how you shouldn't make it your focus to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but rather let it naturally flow because you removed that hesitation barrier? The same method should apply here. Focusing on becoming her close friend will only release more of that inner feeling of wanting to be with her. Where as just naturally bonding at times with her will show that even without desperate effort that you two naturally just work around each other. She'll pick up on that and come back. You don't just eviscerate feelings for someone, she definitely hasn't. She's just assumed specific issues that could rise, and has temporarily ruled out the idea. Just do you and let this prove to you whether or not you should invest yourself in this girl.
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Jun 3, 2014 11:30 AM #1201816
Quote from BoomerangReturns
The only exception, is that I did actually openly tell her my feelings and got it out in the open. I didn't take the rejection as hard as I thought I would.


Damn I don't think I could actually do that ever... I mean how did you just do it?
Boomerang
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Jun 3, 2014 3:41 PM #1201871
Quote from Sacred
Remember what I said about how you shouldn't make it your focus to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but rather let it naturally flow because you removed that hesitation barrier? The same method should apply here. Focusing on becoming her close friend will only release more of that inner feeling of wanting to be with her. Where as just naturally bonding at times with her will show that even without desperate effort that you two naturally just work around each other. She'll pick up on that and come back. You don't just eviscerate feelings for someone, she definitely hasn't. She's just assumed specific issues that could rise, and has temporarily ruled out the idea. Just do you and let this prove to you whether or not you should invest yourself in this girl.


yeah, I get what your saying. I tend to just be more annoying when I'm trying hard not to be, rather than simply letting it come naturally. I think were getting there in terms of bonding. These past couple of days she's suddenly talked to me a lot more, to the point that were up until 2 in the morning still talking until one or the other passes out. So I think that's a good start. I'll start trying less to force the issue and moreso just naturally let it flow.


Quote from I Pwn3d Jo0
Damn I don't think I could actually do that ever... I mean how did you just do it?


Well we were talking about Girl B that I mentioned above, and how she had to understand that the heart wants what the wants. Well Girl A asked "Well what is it that your heart wants".

And that's pretty much when I came clean and said my heart was set on her.
Mage
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Jun 3, 2014 5:14 PM #1201882
You sir are smooth... Well at least you confessed
Damian
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Jun 6, 2014 6:42 PM #1203177
Do not try to actually get with her while she is with someone else and/or is taking you as 'just a good friend', Boomerang. Do as Sacred said but, anything more will further confirm you as 'only a good friend'. I am not saying you shouldn't be friends with her but measure your actions carefully.
Daytrox
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Jun 9, 2014 7:32 PM #1204455
Yeah, If you're just her friend, Watch what you do cause you might just change her mind about you two being friends, And how to get out of the friend-zone?
You can't. It's impossible. It defy's the laws of relationships. I've tried and failed. Many many times. (Maybe I'm just bad at talking to girls...)
Exile
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Jun 9, 2014 7:43 PM #1204458
The "friend zone" means the girl you're lusting after has made it clear that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. That's all it is. They're allowed to feel that way, so move the fuck on. Continuing to try beyond that point means you have no respect for the personal boundaries of people you care most about and makes you look like a desperate, self-centered asshole.

You'll figure it out some day.
Miracle
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Jun 9, 2014 10:24 PM #1204512
Oh nooooo, she wants to just be friends?



How will you survive?
Anyway, how do you tell your childhood friend that you want to be more than friends?
Mage
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Jun 10, 2014 11:20 AM #1204830
Quote from Miracle
Oh nooooo, she wants to just be friends?



How will you survive?
Anyway, how do you tell your childhood friend that you want to be more than friends?


Ask her if she wants to take the friendship to the next level... Or try to ease into the question kinda like "have you ever thought about us going out before" that one would be to see if she would even consider it